Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Entry #63

A View of the Field
by Posolxstvo

She always wanted a view of this field. We talked about it before, sitting on the porch drinking lemonade. She’d tell me, “Burt, plant me right up there so’s I can always keep an eye on ya.”

So that’s what I did.

Toward the end, she was hard to understand. She was always yelling, but the palsy made it hard to tell what she was saying. She’d get frustrated when I didn’t hear her right. I’d bring her soup, and she’d yell and throw it ‘cause what she wanted was something else.

Some nights I’d just go driving longer than I probably should have, but until you’ve been there your own self, I’d ask you to keep your opinion to yourself.

Then came the night she finally passed. I’d been in town, having some drinks at the tavern. I came home and she was screaming, like always. I went in to her and she had the devil’s fire in her eyes. She looked hard at me, tried to say something.

“Inn meh” she said.

I didn’t understand. I went closer.

“Kinn meh,” she said again, clearer.

I kissed her, and she spit in my eye.

“Kighgh me!” This time I knew.

I went out and fetched the shovel and showed it to her and she smiled. I knew what I needed to do then. And I did it. And then I buried her.

When it’s my time, son, please bury me anywhere you want except not under that tree.


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but I laughed out loud hugely at the end of this piece. The subject matter was poignant, it was well written, but that last line put me so in the mind of my grandfather - excellent!

Sarah Hina said...

Oh, this was fabulous. Great storytelling, strong voice, and a wicked conclusion.

Scarily, this one just feels so right to me. Brilliant job!

paisley said...

very nice.. and as i am firm believer in the right to die.. i really enjoyed it....

Unknown said...

Strong voice, excellent storytelling, powerful characterisation and such a blend of all the elements of humanity - I really liked this piece very much. Brilliantly done!

raine said...

Omigod, I almost feel awful saying I loved this, considering the subject--but I did, lol.
Succinct, to-the point, liked the tone. Rather Mark Twain-ish.

Beth said...

Speaking of Mice and Men, lol. Funny ending. My mother was a primary caregiver to my father who couldn't really have conversations and was so exhausted, day in, day out. Now she wishes she was exhausted as he passed away a couple of years ago and well, she misses him.

wrath999 said...

Wow I also believe in the right to die, but I can imagine the anguish it takes for a loved one to kill a loved one. very well done.

Hoodie said...

Great emotional twist at the end. Gives the whole piece a different flavor than originally perceived.

Excellent writing.

SzélsőFa said...

Unlike others, I was not laughing - also I do not think it was a hard decision on the speaker's part.
It was just as natural as anything.
And like others, I enjoyed it alltogether.

Anonymous said...

I liked this very much. I understand the love/hate sorrow/relief of the exhausted caretaker. And I very much enjoyed the twist at the end as well.

Linda Peters said...

Very well written, with an unpredictable twist at the end. I enjoyed it.

bluesugarpoet said...

Perfect characterization. Excellent use of language!

Anonymous said...

Pretty intense. The pacing of the second half was perfect/effortless. Great touch on the ending too. High marks!

Aine said...

Yes-- what everyone else said! I really enjoyed the voice you created for Burt. And the ending was perfectly realistic! Caregiving is the hardest job of all, and it brings raw emotions to the surface.

Great storytelling!