Thursday, July 17, 2008

No More

Keep those votes for Readers' Choice coming! You all have done a wonderful job commenting and supporting each other. I love to see all the new friends being made.

In keeping with tradition and spirit of community, I always do a story myself. Here is what I felt moving on the running wind.

No More
by Jason Evans

He shifted gears.

The forest pulled into a blur with his speed.

As his thoughts churned, the curves folded and unfolded, and he slid deeper into the dark exhale of the trees.

Her devil's smile.

The yellow lines straightened and rose.

Her laugh when she didn't want to laugh.

Ahead, a hill sketched darkness against the twilight.

The skin on her shoulder. Like a sunset on calm water.

The weight of the bike lifted.

The bending of her neck.

He soared from the road into milky blue.

Ripping into her. Her arson eyes.

Gravity dragged at him.

Crashing against her naked body. The sweetest violence.

He sank back into the seat and rumbled with the scream of the engine.

In the valley, the motorcycle leaned deep with the rolling land.

Her vicious smile. Her Sadistic words.

He tasted her on the wind.

How he wanted to save her.

How she needed.

To hurt him.

He squeezed out the thoughts, but they wriggled through.


The speed swept him faster and faster. A farewell billboard whooshed back with the lonely state line.

Out of the forest to the edge of fields, a warm pocket of honeysuckle bathed him.


Even without her.

Even without anyone.

The claw grip on his chest relaxed. One painted fingernail. Maybe two.

Ahead, a reflected word emerged in the distance. Welcome. And he tried not to taste her on the wind.


AngelConradie said...

i just love the imagery you manage to conjure with your stories jason!

Sarah Hina said...

I can't decide whether he's racing toward her, or away. I think he wants to do both.

I love how the road/landscape echoes a woman's body and his state of mind. Each undulation brings a reflection of her in his thoughts. Brilliant intensity and pacing, Jason. It really builds in a driving sort of way.

And I'm glad he gets that sweet reprieve...for a moment, anyway.

Sameera Ansari said...

Beautiful imagery indeed!

So in sync with the words "running wind" :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

Many of these stories have a common theme throughout: FREEDOM.

Nice touch with the "Welcome" sign, although I'm not quite sure the biker will be free of his demon.

Anonymous said...

I love the way your words glide across the page and the mind. You write so poetically. Interesting format here. Exciting language and - very titillating.

Charles Gramlich said...

I agree with others. Some great imagery here. And a wonderful sense of emotion.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Angel. It's my wish to paint, I guess.

Sarah, so glad that build came across for you. That was the most delicate part of the pacing to get right. :) As for where he's going...away, but there are some things which we are ill-equipped to tear ourselves away from.

Sameera, multiple elements in there. Yes. :)

Jr's Thumbprints, I don't think he's going to be free either. Not without a good deal more bloodletting.

K. Gilbert, thanks, my friend. :) Glad to share that touch of poetry with another poet.

Charles, thank you! I felt the urge to explore a few dark and haunted roads.

Anonymous said...

the images came alive in my mind as i read this wonderful piece line by line.

this speaks volume of the quality here.

Jamie Ford said...

Very poetic, Jason. Great stuff, and thanks again for hosting another amazing contest.

JaneyV said...

he slid deeper into the dark exhale of the trees.

Just one of the poetic lines among so many beautiful images. The way the road and his thoughts of her mirrored each other is a wonderful device. The association of violence and extreme passion is a theme that sits perfectly on a motorbike - as is escape!

A beautiful and poetic piece Jason, as always, masterfully written.

Bernita said...

Just. Excellent.

Anonymous said...

The rhythm and the tone of this mirror the movement of the motorbike on the road. Very nice piece. You have had some excellent entries. I meant to enter but had a few life dramas going on. Next time for sure.

The Solitary Writer said...

hello there

inviting u to join the writers lounge

do join our group blog

do leave ur email id in that blog in the first post

we will invite u
hope to see u there

laughingwolf said...

damn google ate my post, it seems grr

forgot what it was, something to do about great juxtapositions and not knowing which was which... well wrought, jason

Vesper said...

Love and love... or ... hate...
You "attack" our senses, Jason, with wonderfully crafted words.

Anonymous said...

C.S., wow, a heart-felt thanks, my friend.

Jamie, my first champion! Great to see you.

Janey, your comment was very gratifying. :) You saw exactly what I was shooting for.

Bernita, very much appreciated!

Selma, I hope everything is okay. I've been stopping by. Sorry about what you've been dealing with. (Thanks for the kind words about my piece.)

Solitary Writer, ok.

LaughingWolf, I hate when these programs get hungry! Thanks for dropping another comment.

Vesper, love...and hate. Here the two are twisted and tied. Or maybe love and fear. Extreme fear.

Anti-Wife, thanks!

Esther Avila said...

one word - Wow.
That's great Jason. After you announce contests, I look forward to several things - entering it, reading all the great stories, comments - and especially YOUR story!
This one was quite a painting. I could see, smell, feel what the rider was feeling.
"He tasted her on the wind" - powerful. Poor soul. You can't outrun something like this.

Great work.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed this ... do you think that for males their demons are always female? Also, vice versa ... mine are always male!
I related to this as I loved to ride motorcycles ... once upon a time.

Julie Weathers said...

This was so sensual with vivid, haunting imagery.

Very impressed.

Anonymous said...

I loved this, Jason. You made me feel like he was running away from her, but the fingernails in his chest? Maybe he couldn't leave her behind.

Dottie Camptown said...

This is excellent, Jason. Its as if your narrator's intrusive thoughts are a type of erotic post traumatic stress. Wonderful, albiet uncomfortable, read.

Jo said...

You have a very intriguing, poignant style of writing, my friend; it's captivating really.

Anonymous said...

September, that really makes my day to hear that. Every contest, I ask myself again whether I should do a story. I'm glad you look forward to them!

Aggie, yes, I do think our demons often have genders.

Thank you Julie! I enjoyed taking a moment and exploring that haunted road.

Sandra, so hard to leave something intertwined with you.

Dottie, that's perfect!! Intrusive thoughts...erotic post traumatic stress. What a great line!

Jo, thanks so much for the kind words! Capitivating is huge compliment. :)

SzélsőFa said...

I had to read it more than once, but that's exactly what I wanted to do, anyway :)