Reversal
by Paul Liadis
Swinson cackled as his eyes adjusted to his new reality. A grand escalator leading into the sky rose majestic before his eyes. He stepped out of the nothingness onto the moving staircase.
Thinking of all of his colleagues who had given away their precious time and money to charity, Swinson laughed. He had done none of that, yet there he stood, where they aspired to be.
If only he could be present for the reading of his will. To see the look on the pathetic faces when they hear his wish to be buried with his fortune would be to die for. They said he couldn’t take it with him. Ha!
In an instant or possibly an eternity he arrived at the top. The view was spectacular. All of creation lay sprawled at his feet on the earth below. The old man stepped forward.
“Isn't it a bit warm up here?” said Swinson to the man at the front of the not-so-pearly gates. “And I'm not really sure what the stuff looks like, but I don't think there's supposed to be brimstone in Heaven, is there?”
“Heaven? Quite the opposite Mr. Swinson,” chuckled the man in the crisp red suit as he opened the gate to reveal the horror inside. “We switch places ever few millennia. They go down, we go up. But do not despair. We have a special place reserved just for you.”
Terror gripped Swinson and he wept, the tears of the Doomed dampening his cheek.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
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32 comments:
nice twist, paul :)
just where he deserved to be.. nice narration here :)
That was clever,not to mention well deserved! :)
'we switch places'. really nice!
hey you had mee going, great job, nice twist!
wow, loved the deserved twist!!
Loved the unexpected ending. Such a great read. :)
Very cool stuff here. Very imaginative.
Nice reversal of expectations, Paul. Good job!
Good twist!
Awesome story! I loved it!
Those tears are going to burn right off...
I, too, really enjoyed your switch in perspective, Paul. His black heart and smug self-satisfaction deserved a fall. ;) Strong writing, and nice characterization!
Great story - I agree with everyone...nice twist and he got what he deserved!
Funny little reverse polar twist here, heh heh!
That'll learn him. Very entertaining parable.
I love your story, Paul!
Great writing, with a well defined character and just the right amount of dark humour! Excellent!
Apparently he was able to take it with him - all his hate and greed - and all the way to the top, too.
Good job.
I love that God and Satan are in cahoots to shake things up. How fantastic that this greed-filled awful man got got so good. (that was a truly awful sentence wasn't it?)
I enjoyed this piece very much. I'm a sucker for a bit of dark humour.
I remember your last piece was quirky and different! Great voice!
loved it...nice twist in the end...
I laughed at the switched places! Great job Paul!
great story and sort of expect Swinson to be surprise, after all, he wanted to burial with his fortune
This is so much different. So unique.
:)
Loved the twist.
Even in death, the guy didn't want to part with worldly pleasures... Deserved exactly what he got.:)
:)
Nice story.
:)
Thanks for reading mine.
:)
Awesome twist there--REally nice piece...more?
Thanks for the comments everybody. You have no idea how many times I've refreshed this page, curious about who had read this.
You all keep me writing. Thanks for that :)
Highly enjoyable piece, refreshingly written.
I really enjoy flash fiction. It's a challenge to fit setting and character and story into such a small space, and you've done it very well!
Thanks for sharing this with me!
Liked the humor...nice twist
"But do not despair. We have a special place reserved just for you." I knew the devil had a devilish sense of humor. Wickedly funny piece!
jana
I came looking for just a few writers this time because I just don't have time to read them all and you were one of them. This story is exactly why -- loved it.
Thank you Beth. That means a lot to me. Really :)
Paul
Great job on pacing!
Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!
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