Creation
by Jason Evans
Time clicked sideways. Like an itch. An insect whirring, but without fangs.
Never fangs.
The god of all things dreamed of delicious, fatal fangs.
But time clicked sideways like an itch. An itch. Or an insect whirring.
The god thought colors, and the universe lit and patterned with colors. It thought about crystals painted with endless dimensions, and the dimensions were. Then, the god bored of painting, and the dimensions that were, were not.
And the insect whirred.
And the god sat. Tired. Listening.
Listening.
l
i
s
te n i n g
The god woke from a never-slept, and it felt the wind of wings. The whir had gone into the nothingness. No colors patterning. No crystals. No dance of dimensions.
The god gazed out, and edges hardened where edges had never been. Black and cold. Forms the god could not un-form.
A yawn sighed through the universe. A quiet drowsing toward sleep.
"This is my body," the god whispered.
The edges now knew a center, and from the center, the god bled. Red. The only color. Pooling in a glass of left-over crystals.
"This is my blood."
When the last drop rippled, and the glass of crystals fell, the body of the god hovered, hard and still.
The glass shattered.
A cosmic light.
Shards sprayed into the reaches of now-directions. Heat roared on the straightened wings of time.
Harmonies wove where the god sang alone, and the crystals sparked and slowed, igniting the first sea of stars.
39 comments:
WOW!!!
Shamelessly I'm admitting I did not read any other entry but the moment I saw 'Creation' on my reader, I had to dash here and read it!!
And I'm glad I did!
Wonderful. Exotic, really.
so, the god dreamed in crystals to create the universe? sure, why not?
Jason, this take on creation is breathtakingly beautiful. The language is stirring and emotive. I was particularly moved by the final sentence
Harmonies wove where the god sang alone, and the crystals sparked and slowed, igniting the first sea of stars.
If I knew how to write the sound of applause, I would.
Brilliance had seldom been so beautiful. This was better that the big-bang itself :).
Super-Surreal.
-Prashant Dhanke
Oh my, I think I've just fallen in love with your brain. Very imaginative, I like the repetition of words and sentences, and you capture the visual with acute precision.
I'll be posting this on my sidebar as one of the best posts to read this month....
Magical Realism...
And then it also reflects the creation of 158 stars below...all from that crystal goblet with red...
Jason, you rock. What an incredible creation story! Like Mona alluded to, I could see essences of many of our stories in your story, and I loved it.
Whoa
And the god sat. Tired. Listening.
Listening.
l
i
s
te n i n g
This is bloody (oops sorry) brilliant...
Time... with God... before creation... moving sideways... as it still does... in gods dimension... we tried to cage it... bend it... but it still escapes... back to god..
I bow to you master. I am gonna dream about this today. Thank You
Wow. Need we really say more? :)
Gorgeous.
This is a painting of words, not even a poem. And definitely not prose.
Gorgeous.
You are truly most wonderful creator and all your creations fiction, poetry, photography or even the interactive posts always have that passion and fire that dwells in you. You truly love what you create and it shows in them.
I loved this creation too. I knew it... there was more to the big bang theory. :)
Its an honor to have known you in this lifetime. I sincerely hope that we meet, so I could thank you in person one day, for all the efforts you've put in to teach me to become a better writer and a better person over the past few months.
Aine too has helped much more in taking one of the toughest decisions with her comments. Much than she probably realizes.
Totally admire and love you folks.
So poetic! So mythical! Absolutely beautiful.
b
e
a
utiful
lyric prose.
like liturgy for a new world.
Wow. What I wouldn't give to be able to craft such a fantastic piece of writing. Fabulous as usual Jason.
If not for the Creation and the stars, I would think this is a passionate take on The Last Supper.
Exquisite.
Thank you for your lead. Now, if we'd had this in the first place, but then again that's what freedom of will can do. Thank you for hosting this meeting of brilliant minds.
Wow! I love the idea of creation, not just of the body, heart, or soul, but of the universe and all that resides there. Wonderfully woven to create a magically pattern.
Dottie :)
How is it that 158 wonderful entries can now seem utterly mundane?
Amazing lyric prose.
Simply amazing.
Magical and evocative! It's raw, but not gritty, if that makes sense.
Simply and stunningly beautiful! I LOVE this take on the photo!
Creation, but of course! I wrote it for you!! (LOL.) Thanks for the kind words.
Laughingwolf, the god ran out of dreams.
Janey, thank you! I can see you felt it. And I thank you for the applause. :)
Brown Phantom, I felt a kind of poetic release and relief in this view of creation. Destruction and birth together.
Rebecca, my brain is flattered. :) Thanks for pointing out the repetition. That was the essential element I used to give a sense of the unending and infinite in such a short piece.
Mona, I like that!! You're right. 158 stars are shining here.
Catvibe, rock on, sister! ;) Thanks. :) I'm honored to be the culmination of what you all created.
As the Mind Meanders, I do wonder about such things. For some reason, I feel something beautiful about our creation being god laying down. Unbecoming.
Aimee Laine, that's more than enough. :) Thank you!
Laurel, words that can't quite be categorized. I like that. :)
Aniket, thank you for the beautiful words. Its been a honor from this end too, I assure you. Having fire and passion reach across the globe and resonate with another person is a gift that's almost daunting in its hugeness. What we do here is one of the things that gives me hope for the world.
Precie, thank you for seeing that beauty. :)
B. Nagel, a liturgy for a new world...I loved that! Your comments have helped this vision come alive.
Meghan, don't make me blush, now. ;) I'm just so greatful to be able to share these thoughts and musings. I like how all writers something unique to give. The challenge is to hone it. I'm enjoying my journey.
Chumplet, I definitely fused the last supper into it. The words echoed in Communion.
Shadows, the differences that we all bring, and display, are the best thing about these contests from a writing perspective. All have the same tools and beginning point. We teach each other what's possible.
Dottie, your right. Our own, personal creation is buried there too.
Bebo, something about that photo really inspired me. There are so many wonderful stories here. I was happy to add mine. Like Mona said, 158 stars were born. And Jaye's is shining bright.
Chris, thanks, my friend. You're invited to open up a lawn chair, sip a drink out of the bottle, and just stargaze. :)
Awesome utilization of white space. I've always had difficulty know exactly when to use it in a story.
Excellent hook. I love it. Sideways? It clicked sideways? That is somehow perfect.
"Shards sprayed into the reaches of now-directions. Heat roared on the straightened wings of time."
I love it. It's lyrical, ambiguous and straightforward. Draws on the imagination.
Really beautifully written, Jason.
Jason, once again you've proven how lucky we all are that you run these contests instead of compete. This was a masterpiece.
WOW!!
Is this really under 250 words Jason??
It's just fantastic! Shows us how words can be put together to create such vast images. - Brilliant!
brilliant idea, I am so liking it
ethereal! i like it!!!
Incredible writing. This is so layered and evocative, I'm still rereading to take it all in! Wonderful!
You're a pretty good writer eh old bean? ;-)
Would that I could....this is superb. After reading this wondrous, inventive, lyrical, powerfully visual and stunningly original piece I don't think I shall ever again attempt to write again! Just utterly brilliant. Seriously.
See - so awestruck, I really can't write coherently!
If you decide to set up your own religious cult, I'm sure you'd have no trouble persuading people to join.
So, Euripides , Sophocles and Aeschylus walk into a bar…
Nah, kidin’
Stunningly beautiful , poetic piece seemingly backed by some mysterious mythology . Vulnerability of human beings whose suffering is brought and lifted by divine actions. I chose Greek, but you may have thought beyond that...
Beautiful, just beautiful. Tears to the eyes stuff. (no kidding)
And for the record, I much prefer this version to the whole Big Bang theory.
This really is brilliant, Jason. Not half as brilliant as entry #122, but I do give proper credit that yours is in the upper echelons of creativity and excellence. Well done! I'm glad you decided to play along with us.
Stunning, Jason, simply stunning - so rich and so very beautiful!
Look, Jason, I'm 47, good with words, great at my profession, over-achiever in every sense (no false modesty here!). It's not often that I'm made to feel like I didn't quite measure up.
I've truly enjoyed most entries, been amazed by some and awed by a few. Your version both scared ("I'll never measure up to this!") and inspired ("I'm going to have to write much, much more if I'm ever going to get close to this!")me.
There's this crystal-perfect balance of vision, passion and craft in your story. Thanks for shattering my glass and showing me the cosmic light.
Ranee Kaur Banerjee
An enjoyable speculation and very well constructed.
JR, that's a great observation. The pause, the nothing moment can be just as important as action to the cadence of a scene. White space has become very important in my writing.
Therese, thank you! I needed to get a sense of a world outside of our understand, yet familiar enough to understand it.
Jaye, much appreciated, my friend. :) You all have taught me a great deal.
Margaret, yes, I hold tight to the word limit. :) In fact, because I broke up the word "listening" it counts as many words.
Blodeuedd, something about the glow in the photo made me think cosmically. (Suddenly, I sound like a hippie.)
Shadow, thanks!
Karen, this is one of my favorite flash pieces I've written. There is a ton of musings and insights packed in there.
Preacherman, that's always for the reader to decide. :)
Tessa, I certainly don't deserve it, but you gave me quite a smile. That's the beauty of these contests. We show each other so many ways and techniques to approach a story. A treasure trove!
Patsy, tempting. I respect humanity too much, though.
Adina, yes, kind of blend of mythology, cosmology, and religion. The Last Supper was one of the last acts of Jesus. It made me think of the last act of a god.
Terri, I find a lot more solace in this version than the notion that we are being watched over and all this is according to specific plan. (Thanks!)
#122 Author, now I have something new to aspire to. ;)
Absolute Vanilla, thanks! And great to see you. :)
Ranee, I'm humbled. Truly. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts. My pieces are heartfelt, and I'm glad it somes across.
Bernard, thanks for the feedback!
It's interesting that the universe was created only after the god ran out of dreams. Time was out of joint. (My jaw clicks a bit sideways like that, ever since I caught a soccer ball on the chin ten years ago.) My very favorite paragraph:
The god gazed out, and edges hardened where edges had never been. Black and cold. Forms the god could not un-form.
I think you've done a pretty good job here of describing infinity in 250 words or fewer. Tough to do. Most of us would need 500 words, minimum. (This reminded me, by the way, just a BIT of the Silmarillion, only at a length that actually is readable.)
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