Monday, July 13, 2009

Entry #93

The Last Glass
by Hilary Robertshaw

“I’m not sure I can go through with it,” I say, my eyes searching her face for some courage.

Her grip tightens on my fingers. “Simon, please.”

“I’m going to miss you. I adore you, you must understand that.” I lift her hand to my lips. We both know how hard it had been to make this decision. We talked it round and round until we were beyond exhaustion.

“You said you understood. I can’t be like this anymore,” she says quietly.


She caresses my cheek and a picture of her, in times before the illness changed her, fills my mind.

“I love you, Simon, but it’s time.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Be strong, my love.”

And there are no more words.

I slowly reach out and lift the glass from the table. The sunlight shines through it making the liquid sparkle. Nembutal with blackcurrant cordial, it looks like red wine. She takes the straw between her pale lips and drinks, closing her eyes in concentration.

I want to pull the glass away, to drive time back to before all this. I’m crumbling watching her but she shows no fear.

The glass is back on the table.

Gathering her into my arms, she feels so fragile. Her breath is warm against my neck. I’m trembling, trying not to cry. I kiss her forehead, stroke her face and whisper the words I’ve said many times before.

“I’ll hold you to sleep, my love.”


The Preacherman said...

Assisted suicide is still very much a taboo to some. Brave and very sad piece of writing. Touched me deeply.

Four Dinners

Laurel said...

The sadness in this is palpable. It's a well-done description of the intimacy of this decision, regardless of the opinions of the reader on the issue.


Aniket Thakkar said...

I can't make up my mind as to who was braver. But then I guess, one can't judge them seperately when they are so meant to be together.

Very touching tale.

PS: Okay now am wondering who the hell does google think I am.

Word verification: vigraha

Last night I got: suttup

Wonder what I did to piss them off!

Bebo said...

Such deep sadness, reaching for release.

Wonderfully written.

wrath999 said...

Great job


Catherine Vibert said...

Oh just great, now I'm getting my keyboard all wet. This was excellent.

laughingwolf said...

loving and gentle...

Peter said...

Beautifully written and very touching.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Kevorkian would've been proud.

Hilary said...

Thank you all for your comments. They are very kind.
I was in 4 minds whether to go for it as it's such a topical and controversial subject here, in the UK, at the moment. Glad I did.


Hoodie said...

Very touching.

PJD said...

Aniket, LOL. Google has your number, all right.

JR, I think this was Kevorkian as a young man. it's how he got his start, I'm told. (Naw, I'm making that up.)

Hilary, this is sweet and sad. I'm glad you decided to go for it after all.

Aniket: My verification word is huggly. Take that! I win!

JaneyV said...

Poignant and beautifully told. A testament t true and enduring love.

Chris Eldin said...

A sad story gently told. Very nice writing here.

Terri said...

How very sad, but beautifully told.

Dottie Camptown said...

I agree with everyone's comments. This was sad and beautiful. Gentle and restrained.

Tessa said...

A poignant story, tenderly told. Excellent.

Anonymous said...

God, that's hard to read. An act of love and terrible loss. Effectively done.

Welcome to The Forties Club!