Monday, October 26, 2009

The Beer Philosophers #2

"What's wrong?"

"Just drop it. Okay?"

"Did someone piss in your beer or something?"

"I said, drop it."

"All I said is that she's frigging hot."

"Got it. Move on."

"And, that I want to fuck her."

"See. That's what I mean."

"What?"

"I'm done."

"What??"

"I'm DONE!"

"Come on. You wouldn't fuck her? Seriously!"

"I'm not going to answer that."

"I'm just being honest."

"Oh, I know."

"For starters, she's get these completely unbelievable--"

"Stop!"

"And after I spent a while there, I would go on to her--"

"ENOUGH!"

"Why are you shaking your head?"

"I'm going to bean you in the head with this bottle. I fucking swear."

"Are you gay? You know, I'm open to that sort of thing. It doesn't threaten me at all. Well, except for that time when we.... When we.... Um, never mind."

"Are you finished?"

"Pretty much."

"Are you finished?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"So. Would you fuck her or not?"

(Throws beer.)

"Holy shit! You almost hit me!! For real!!!"

22 comments:

Tabitha Bird said...

You crack me up! Gosh, I could so hear those two. I am sure the girl would be flattered :)

SzélsőFa said...

Quite realistic :)
I laughed at the end (was I supposed to?) - and I'm sure I wouldn't want anyone to talk about me like this.

Shadow said...

what an insane conversation, heee hee heeee

DILLIGAF said...

Oi!!! You been earwiggin me in the pub or what?...;-)

Really well done old bean. Very true to life!

PixieDust said...

Ouch! that's gotta hurt - and good!

;-)

Very realistic dialogue.

love,
me

Stacey J. Warner said...

story in dialogue, never easy and you do it so well...i never know where it is going to end up.

much love

Nevine Sultan said...

How completely outside the box of what we're used to getting from you! But that's what makes it all the more shocking... and interesting... and absolutely hilarious. This brought images and memories. Don't get me wrong... I don't exactly sit there with the guys and listen to them shoot the breeze. But I do perk up my ears whenever I'm out somewhere and I hear guys going at it. Very cool!

Midnight Whisperer said...

This was great! I needed the laugh ; )

So... Um... Would you?

LOL ... J/K

Anonymous said...

Tabitha, I can see you've encountered these guys before. ;)

Szelsofa, yes, I hoped people would laugh. ;) But everyone's entitled to their own read.

Shadow, I've had ones like this thrown at me.

Four Dinner, oh, I can see it! Someone order another round.

PixieDust, too bad his aim wasn't just a little better....

Stacey, I love that! To keep people guessing about what they'll get next.

Nevine, ah, a listener. ;) Very wise. As for the shock, I try to keep things fresh and interesting here at Clarity. A walk through my archives reveals some interesting, and even bizarre, things.

Midnight Whisperer, ahh.... The question. I'm more the second guy in this dialogue. It's actually a commentary on different styles of attraction and how we want, or don't want, to see each other and interact. The second guy's answer is layered under many other desires and considerations.

Amias (ljm and liquidplastic) said...

I have read this twice, and laughed so hard I almost pissed on myself ... One of these character sounds familiar. I called my son and read the entire dialogue to him ... and then I asked him if it sounded like someone he knew? He hung up on me ...

... Jason you have really made my night! It feel so good to laugh!

the walking man said...

That is the problem with thrown beer bottles...to easy to miss the target. Better to just swing with it in your hand.

Laurel said...

gigglesnort

Geraldine said...

Like I said before...what a range!!!

Jean said...

I think the pissed off one thinks the persistent one has a better chance. Thus, the pissed off-ness.

JR's Thumbprints said...

You've got me hooked. I'd like to see where this conversation goes. Usually, the quieter ones know more than they're willing to reveal. I'm hoping the beer thrower gets backed into a corner, then tells all.

Anonymous said...

Amias, OMG, that's too funny!! I think that's a riot that you read it to your son. :D

Walking Man, ha! Excellent point. Like a precision guided weapon. Follow the ordinance in.

Laurel, :D

Geraldine, thank you for the compliment!

Jean, ah. Very interesting read! You very well may be right.

JR, I like the way the you think.

Vesper said...

Great dialogue, Jason! :-) :-) :-)

Anonymous said...

You are so insanely random, I love it. Enjoyed the dialogue very real worldish. I hope this isn't true, you don't appear to be the type :)

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Jason - you are right on with the dialogue...saw and heard the whole thing play out! You have such range.

Terri said...

I'm pretty sure I've heard this sort of conversation between two guys before. (Sometimes they forget I'm there - I'm a "one of the lads" sort of girl. Or was.)
I also think I'd be very interested in the history between these two.

Aniket Thakkar said...

Growing up I've often tried to become the first guy and even pretended to be one. For some reason I thought that was the COOL thing to do.

I have however realized that no matter how much I tried I always ended up being the second one. And now am quite content with it.

Oh, and I loved the dialogues. :D

Anonymous said...

Vesper, thanks. :)

She Poet, did you close your blog? Are you coming back??

Kaye, much appreciated. :) I'd like to push my range twice as far.

Terri, that must have been aggravating--being treated differently. Growing up, I used to end up in the friend zone all the time. When I finally saw it, I changed that. Or just enough to play both sides. The friend and the object.

Aniket, actually I believe the second feels the intensity much more strongly. He has my respect.