Monday, January 11, 2010

Entry #126

Bird/I View
by Harish Shankaran

“No! No! No! No not again!” I screamed, as my fingers started sprouting feathers.

“Curse you and your damned spell, you stupid blind man! I swear I will hunt you down motherfu… kaa…kaaa …kaaa.”

It had been three days, since the transformations had begun. I had yet to come to terms with the concept of randomized avian makeovers. I lost my way flying the other night. I had woken up later as myself, somewhere unfamiliar. High up on a tree. Naked.

“I don’t think I ever wanted to be a bird” I surmised, as I struggled to glide across the thermals.

“A superhero? Yes!”

“Part bird, part human? Awesome.”

“A plain, regular bird? Hell! That way, I am not even cool among birds!”

A playful wind mocked and incited me.

“And it’s certainly no fun waking up as a man with a half-eaten rodent in your mouth! I really don’t know if I would die as a freak human contracting plague, or of starvation as a choosy bird!”

“There… Mr. Sun decides to go down. Night-vision flight mode on! Ok this will be…”

“…Bloody Blundering Bird-Mother!” I botch my landing yet again and ram my beak into a tree, “Aaanw mny knose!”

“I’ll admit that the flying bit is cool. I bet I could master this… if I survive these crash landings, that is.”

But then that’s about it. I hate everything else. I don’t think I will ever be able to live like a… “

“Oooooh! A Rabbbbbbbit… exotic!”


Bernita said...

Ah, be careful what you wish for...
"Bloody blundering Bird -Mother" ... the wry, cocky tone is fun.

lena said...

That was fun to read. Very different.

wrath999 said...

Very imaginative and an enjoyable read

Aniket Thakkar said...

You finally made it here bro. That too well before the deadline (that has to go down as first, in the books) :D

Welcome to the party. I'm sure by now you must be feeling the thrill-factor I always told you about. :D

This was awesome. Unique and witty to the core. He might even kill is girlfriend if he transforms at the wrong time, you know. lol

Thanks for such good laughs.

Tara said...

I agree with the above, this was unique, and fun :)

Craig said...

I enjoyed the tone.

DILLIGAF said...

Now this I really like. As good as anything I've yet read...maybe better.

Well done! Excellent!

You're into my top 5 by miles!!!!!

Leah McClellan said...

Really fun. I love the first line--it really grabbed me!

peggy said...

Love the title as much as the story! Very imaginative and funny.

Harish said...

@Bernita @lena @wrath999 Thanx a ton! Really glad that you guys enjoyed it.

@Aniket Yeah dude, finally got around :P Thanx for the welcome and the comment!

@Tara @Merry @Craig Thanx Thanx Thanx! :)

@Four Dinners That's a biggie compliment! :D Thanx a lot.

@Leah Nice to know! Thanx :)

@peggy :) Super thanx!

Anks said...

nice... this actually reminded me of the animorph series i read in school (college? don't remember... )

one of the characters (Marco, i think) was kinda cocky like the character in this story and he too liked the flying bit...

austere said...

Very nice.
loved the voice you've given him. It.

kashers said...

Got a little confused with the dialogue section as to who was speaking to who, though settled that it was the mc throughout.

Still, I laughed at many of the lines. No more so than after, "I had yet to come to terms with the concept of randomized avian makeovers."

laughingwolf said...

thx for the chuckles, harish :)

Laurel said...

This is packed with some great one-liners and you did a bang-up job of making the action so interesting I wasn't distracted by backstory. What blind man? Is it a spell or is he a shifter? Is there anyone else like him?

Great voice. I'd like some more, please!

Ravi.S said...

I visualized the entire story...100% sheer awesomeness!!!! :) :) :)

Harish said...

@anks Just googled up Animorphs & Marco. I missed out on this series. Will read up for sure :) Thanx!

@austere Glad you liked him. It.

@kashers Will try and bring more clarity to the conversation aspect, the next time around. Thanx for pointing out. Glad to have made you laugh! :)

@laughingwolf My pleasure! :)

@laurel Oh man! Super thanx for the kind words!

@ray thanx a ton!

PJD said...

Half-eaten rodent. ha ha ha! I would hate waking up and having to cough up the fur and bones pellet.

Anonymous said...

Neat Concept. Well Executed. My favorite line is the one about it not being no fun waking up as a man with a half-eaten roden in your mouth.

Creative. Could easily be expanded into a longer tale and submitted to some spec fic magazines.

Zombies-R-Us said...

This is Zombies-R-Us. I don't know why my name didn't show up in the comment above. I'm new here, and I guess I didn't tweak something properly.

Maybe it won't work a 2nd timne when I sent this.

Kartik said...

The poor soul is just "learning to fly" ... very wittily done, buddy! :)

Jimmy Carlozzi said...

That was great! Thanks for sharing.

JaneyV said...

Harish - this is a witty and imaginative take on the prompt. I love the dialogue between the guy and his avian self - very nice depiction of their struggle. I loved the one liners. You have a great talent for humour.

James R. Tomlinson said...

This is a nice, light-hearted science fiction piece. You've describe his predicament wonderfully.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Nice voice. Fun story. Awesome job.

Aimee Laine said...

I laughed all the way through this one! Great job!

Harish said...

@pjd @Zombies-R-Us I am glad that you guys liked that bit. :) Thanks!

@Kartik Thanks Kartik. Aaah a Pink Floyd viewpoint on the piece! Nice!

@Jimmy You are most welcome! Glad that you enjoyed the read.

@truevoid * snigger snigger* :P

@JaneyV Thank you very much for the kind words. :D

@James @Sarah @Aimee Thanx a lot! :D

Chris Eldin said...

SO many fun lines in here! Love your voice! Very well done!!!

Anonymous said...

my caveat

Something I Would Keep

OMG, "randomized avian makeovers" has to be one of my favorite phrases in the whole contest so far.

Something I Might Tweak

Technically, after "live like a.... there should not be quotation marks if the same speaker says "oooooh" etc.