Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Entry #164

Forsaken Dreams.....
by Mahesh Sindbandge

Why do I feel,
so out of place.
why have I been called,
a family's disgrace.

I may never see beyond,
what they blindly accuse.
with time flying by,
am drowning in my blues.

Lying on my couch,
I felt all alone.
wish someone can hear,
and see me, moan.

urging birds inside me,
to sing and fly.
for they are strong,
but embarrassed and shy.

Resting on the window,
gazing across the fields.
caught sight of a bird ,
emerging from the shields.

It was full of life,
in clouds so high.
thought for a while,
dreaming once to fly.

where will you go,
the shadows asked.
I recognized the demon,
though he was masked.

After waiting for ages,
I got prepared to say it.
I knew it was coming,
time for my aces to lay it.

How long will you hide,
came the question from inside.
"No more! not any more",
I said, having my eyes dried.

letting my spirits fly,
higher in the blue sky.
battled my demons,
going past,while they die.

I am no longer forsaken,
from the dreams I dreamed.
"hope is food for next moment",
across the fields I beamed.

passion is always there,
just have to look around.
you will see the light,
that is intensely profound.

I appeal to you,
deep from the heart.
listen to my say,
before you depart.

I like Romeo,
cuz i am born like that.
Juliet has no place,
in my story from start.


Laurel said...

Sadness and hope rolled up together. Nice!

laughingwolf said...


Aniket Thakkar said...

Glad you made it here!

I'm a bit surprised that you chose to go with poetry. But good job with the rhymes.

Its way better than how I am with poetry so I'll leave it to the poets to critique. I loved how you weaved a story along with it. Good work.

Bernita said...

Gay pride?

Mahesh Sindbandge said...


Thank you very much :) yeah..that was the idea. Hope, it sends out some message..


Thank you :)


Thank you buddy :) Yeah i know...I thought that way i can get better at my poetry which is not better in many ways :P Thank you very much.. I see that not many have attempted a poetry, which makes this competition a little different for me.

Thanks :)


Yes ma'am :)


Lena said...

Interestic topic to write on. And as Aniket I am surprised too that you went with poetry, I rather expected some fiction here. But it was nicely presented. Good work.

bondgal_rulz said...

Great work there man!!!

And you say you are not good at poetry?? :P

All the best. :)


catvibe said...

And in the next move he'll reveal it to the world. yay! Great. Love the descriptions in the beginning, the feeling of not being able to be himself in his own family is clear and devastating.

Shriti said...

loved it ^_^

paramveer said...

hey nice one....i liked the twists...and specially that last paragraph......great!!

sri said...

way to go !:P
U said it all!

~ Lopa said...

Aaah, i came here metally prepared for some fiction, but you surprised me by poetry...

Simple and easy flow.... Good work, keep it up :)

Craig said...

Nice job.

Pallav said...

GoodWork.. dude..
who told u that u cant write poetry...

clear n nice one..

All the best..

IdleMind said...

Wonderful! and let me also admire you for patiently weaving it all together around a subject that can be so vaguely misunderstood as a complaint for being forsaken by family.

This was innocent, and a definite motivational piece ... I hope you had given this enough oxygen to help people continue to breathe positively about life.

Karthik Kotresh said...

Very nice poem, dude. I knew you were an awesome writer of prose, but never knew about your poetic talent. Way to go! Enjoyed reading a lot. All the best!

P.S. I too have made it here. Check out my entry - entry #215

PJD said...

I didn't get Romeo without Juliet until Bernita's comment. Some odd constructions got in my way a little bit, but I think you told your story well.

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Isha,Catvibe,Shree,Pramveer,Pallav,Lopa, Craig, Srivats,Idlemind,

Thank you very much for the encouragement :)


Well, Thats the twist or say the reason for his agony. I gave a name to his suffering.

Thanks :)

JaneyV said...

It's always best to lead your life honestly than be imprisoned by the expectations of others.

Well done Manesh,

James R. Tomlinson said...

I'm not much for poetry. Although I did do a spoof on YouTube when two writing professors argued about its merits. Lets just say, after that, only one of them would correspond with me.

Your story content is quite good, but I'd use some type of internal rhyme scheme, or something a bit more contemporary.

Preeti said...

Nicely done. I liked the way it flowed.


Anonymous said...

my caveat

Something I Would Keep

the subject - one close to my heart

Something I Might Tweak

The verb tenses go from past to present to future in an order that confused me a wee bit -

Anonymous said...

Hello Mahesh ~

I love that you used the concept of the bird as a metaphor for spirits flying or weighted to the ground - as well as for 'time flying.'

My very best of luck to you in the contest.

~ Corra McFeydon

Chris Eldin said...

Good rhymes and I like your ending!

Tara said...

This has good flow an great use of metaphors. I thoroughly enjoyed it :)