Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Entry #232

by Samuel Jones

One December morning dreary, I dismounted cold and weary
After riding long and swiftly o'er the dark and dreary moor.
Servants told me, "grieving season's overturned your uncle's reason
Now he's mutterin' and seizin', in the corner on floor!"
Thus with pounding heart I turned the handle of his chamber door
Sensing him and. . . something more?

Uncle, tortured, took no notice of my entrance; all the while his
Bloodshot eyes burned into something just above the chamber door.
This sad sight my heart was rifting when I heard a subtle shifting
As of ancient parchment sifting, behind me above the door.
Startling sent me whirling, glimpsing Pallas' pale bust shadowed o'er
With darkness shrieking, "Nevermore."

But my reason exercising, breathing, calming, realizing
It was nothing but a raven as of saintly days of yore.
Yet it's eyes wickedly gleaming, with capricious carriage seeming. . .
'Twas no bird, but scheming faerie of the pagan days before!
Whose delight is one dark utterance from his perch above the door,
Shaking weak men to their core.

"Nevermore!" the creature rasping, I was diving, I was grasping
Swift to hand a large and heavy volume of forgotten lore.
Through the air I heaved it whirling, and the blow sent feathers swirling.
When they settled there was nothing of the phantom there before,
And my uncle like a baby, sweetly sleeping on the floor.
Madness lifted, evermore.


Bernita said...

Oh, this is lucious POE-try!
Delightfully un-morbid!

Laurel said...

I can't believe all the Poe entries! I was ahead of my time in the In Vino Veritas contest :)

I love this.

The rhythm is canting, the tale is enchanting, left me crying for more, more, more!

Aniket Thakkar said...

Leaves one wanting ever-so-more. ;)

Excellent writing.

McKoala said...

Now that is different. And challenging. Great job.

Angel Zapata said...

Poe would be proud. Well done.

ollwen said...

Thanks for the positive comments! I hope the CSS line wrapping didn't make the line breaks hard to follow.

Karen said...

I'm glad I hadn't read this before I posted, or I wouldn't have been able to get it out of my head! Love it - go Poe/!

Louise said...

Wow! I loved this. Great job. Happy the book delivered Uncle from the phantom!

Loren Eaton said...

Oh, now this is so much fun! What a great continuation. Nicely done, Sam.

laughingwolf said...


Anonymous said...

Poe would be proud.

ollwen said...

Thanks! He might approve my form, but I don't think he could approve my undoing of his grand and dark finale so easily.

Anonymous said...


Something I Would Keep

Holy COW the hard work that had to have gone into mimicking the rhyme and meter! Yowza.

Something I Might Tweak

"Yet it's eyes" - possessive should be "its" with no apostrophe

Preeti said...

Oh my GOD.

Beautiful. Beautiful.
So medieval and dark and lush. The imagery took my breath away.
In a contest where prose forms a looming majority verse IS able to pose a threat.
I super -loved this.

James R. Tomlinson said...

With so many published writers mimicking Poe, it's sometimes difficult appreciating the work. You've done an awesome job telling your tale. I'm a bit biased though, preferring a more stylistically current form. Still, two thumbs up.

ollwen said...

It's, Its. Dang. With all my fretting over the rythm, I WOULD leave in something obvious like that. . .

I am aware of a lot of the subjective bias for/against a form like this. . . but. . . if one is going to do an homage/sequal to The Raven, I think one has to follow its format as close as one can.

I do have to say I'm glad of the 250 word limit. I think it would have eneded up long and watered down as I focused on rhyme and meter otherwise.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Great take on the master. Well done.

Deb Smythe said...

What everyone else said.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I'm in agreement with you, ollwen. That's why I'm so damn stubbornly biased. My deepest apologies. Have a great MLK Day!

JaneyV said...

This rocked!

Craig said...

I loved the rythmn to this piece.

PJD said...

homage/sequel? Reminds me of the "Space Oddity" and "Major Tom (Coming Home)" pair of songs. The one with its darkness, the sequel with its salvation.

I really liked this and see how you've managed the meter masterfully. Not terribly easy. A real craftsman's piece with an attention to the details of the original. High marks for technique, that's for sure.

Terri said...

Masterfully done!

catvibe said...

Excellent. Loved the meter and the story was fun!