The Care and Feeding of Angels
by Josh Vogt
Standing before the entrance to his private workshop, I scan the note left with my father’s will.
Beyond the shop and fortune, there is another legacy I bequeath to you.
The door swings open at my touch. Neon lights flicker on, illuminating—
Bloody clamps pin the wings to the rear wall. Shackles contort the arms and legs, while the stained tatters of a white robe do nothing to hide the emaciated figure. A rotting stink assails me, and I steel myself for a closer inspection.
I believe it held a minimal rank in the divine legions. How else could I, a mere jeweler, have captured and kept it all these years?
A rod and welded collar locks its head over an empty metal bucket.
Jesus wept, and so do the angels, my son.
The surrounding shelves sag with all manner of prod and blade and brand.
Torture is the most effective method—yet I learned rare acts of kindness can inspire bursts of productivity. For instance, after particularly severe sessions, tending a wound or providing sustenance often triggers further outpourings of grief.
Chains clink as its head raises enough for our gazes to lock.
“Help…me…” it begs in tones of broken chimes.
Crimson beads glint in the corners of its eyes. One trickles down and drops into my waiting palm. With my father’s old loupe, I inspect the ruby and murmur in surprise.
“Flawless.”
Its head bows anew, and tears cascade into the bucket.
The sound is of rain.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
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48 comments:
Ahhhhhhh. Beautiful.
blood rain, like the plagues on Egypt
Had to come back and read it again. An early favorite for me.
Like Sarah, I find myself returning to read this again.
Flawless.
This is a favorite for me too. So original and so well written.
(of course, what would we expect from our newly agented Josh?!)
Excellent use of a title to set the pace.
Creepy. Loved this one very much-the concept is startling.
Interesting way to 'gather' jewels but my heart goes out to the angel 'against' the greed of the father. :)
Wow, what I love most about this (besides the wildly creative premise) is the way you reveal the entire scene, tension, plot, and setting so smoothly.
Here is a really masterful flash piece.
Wow. How delightfully creepy. It gave me shivers and pulled at my heart at the same time. Well done.
Genius plot and beautifully written. Perfect pace too. I'd be really, really surprised if this isn't in the top 5. It might as well, go all the way to win the big prize. Very well done.
Love it. The voice of broken chimes, so sad...
Wow - harsh, and beautiful. Nicely written.
My favourite thus far. The idea and the imagery that supports it is stellar, and conjures up a myriad of emotions within its relatively few words. Beautiful and brutal.
Oh my. I am speechless. Oh my.
You have a gift.
Fine story, beautifully wrought. Images that linger.
Wow! That goes for both the story and the writing.
Wow! This is one of my favorites. Very powerful imagery.
-Tim
http://timremp.blogspot.com/
I had one of those "I wish I had written that" moments.
I have a special place in my reader's heart for anything fantastical, and that place is further augmented when the subject is of angels in a creative and original way. You've managed to capture my imagination so thoroughly. Beautifully written!
Expertly written!
Wow. That was twisted and gorgeous, and leaves me wanting more!
Awesome story. Just awesome.
The idea of this is just brilliant. 250 words is the perfect length, too, to tell this tale.
Fantastic, and sure to depress the rest of us who entered. Well done!
Lovely. Gets my vote.
Hi Josh!
Nicely done! When it rains, it pours?
(tears on the raindrops of the soul)
Dottie :)
Such a sad story. How can the narrator bear to cause such pain?
I'm giving this one my non-existent: 'Best title' award! Love it.
Creepy. Distressing. Beautiful. Heart-rending. Sad. Amazing.
If I could string all those words into a proper description of what you'd written I would, but I find myself left inarticulate.
I'm completely taken with the concept. Beautifully written. Two thumbs way up.
Oh Josh - you never ever ever disappoint. This is just amazing. So beautiful and so heartbreaking. I'm not sure what stings more - the pain of the angel or the casual cruelty of the father.
You have a breathtaking talent Josh.
Aaaaaamazing!
I love the notes the father leaves, as if they're instructions for a particularly finicky but valuable machine.
I want the story to continue: does the narrator continue in his father's footsteps? Do other angels come in search of their missing brother?
Fantastic
This is one of the most dynamic pieces I've read. Fabulous, beautifully written, sad.
I really want more. I want to find out what happens. Something terrible for the jeweler, I hope.
Wow. Thank you everyone for such an incredible response. As always, it's great to be able to take part in this contest, and I've loved reading through all the other entries as well.
In some other comment thread related to this contest, somebody mentioned your name in a "wow" context, so when I clicked on "#9" and saw "Josh Vogt," I had to remind myself to not have expectations, just read.
Well. ~grin~ Whatever to that, because this was AWESOME!
I especially like that you don't examine your main character's feelings. The stink and the scene of torture is clearly unpleasant, without going too far--you don't try to completely horrify us; you just let us explore. This is particularly adept because you don't overwhelm the sweetness of your final line.
Really, really beautifully done.
How do we post a Reader's Choice vote? Because this one gets mine!
Sooooo creative and masterfully written! I always love reading your takes on these contests. Very well done!
After a second reading, I'm reminded of Gabriel Garcia Marquez's short story, "The Old Man With Enormous Wings." Except your story is much much more gruesome.
Well, this gets my can't get it out of my head vote for the entire contest. Great one Josh. I commented earlier, but thought I'd come back to tell you how haunting this one is. It really speaks with just two characters of the way that greed trumps guilt and morality in human nature all too much. To tie up and torture an angel, GREAT metaphor on so many levels.
This is powerful! I like it a lot! I think it's interesting that so many stories have the same theme of jewels coming from human or human-like forms.
SEE? Calls it like I sees it. Congrats Josh, you totally 100% deserved to win this.
Thanks again, everyone for the incredible support here. I love taking part in this and seeing the amazing stories folks come up with.
I like to use the word "flabbergasted" in this sort of situation.
Congratulations, Josh, and just...wow. This broke my heart.
Compelling writing!
Josh, my friend,
This piece is awesome. I am glad to see that people are appreciating your work. Like a rocket to the top. Keep on writing. PS send me some of your stuff I am starving for quality work over here.
Dan, my friend,
I will send you my current work post-haste. You remain one of my biggest cheerleaders throughout years of computer gaming, marriages, and desk drawers full of Halloween candy.
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