Just gonna stand there
and watch me burn?
That's alright
because I like the way it hurts
--Eminem ft. Rihanna, I Love the Way You Lie
He tapped the pencil to the ticking of the clock.
Tick.
Tick.
Crunch
Exploded graphite and wood stained the paper brown and black. He grabbed the nearest thing, a book, and winged it across the room. It dented the wall and flopped onto the floor bent in a messed up fan.
The clock paused for two heartbeats.
Then, the march of time restarted.
He turned on the television. Turned it off. The molten metal in his veins wanted to throw the remote too, but that would be an unfortunate thing to break.
Instead, he piled some of her things in the kitchen sink. Notes. Pictures. Things she made for him.
He lit the match and watched the flame erupt. The brightness made the stick twist and crack. Agonized cinders.
He pinched the searing heat without wetting his fingers and rushed out of the apartment down to the city. The little tides of chaos in the streets soothed him. They distracted all the storms raging in his head.
COMMENTS LINK
16 comments:
Last two lines ROCK!
Warm Aloha from Waikiki :)
Comfort Spiral
"The clock paused for two heartbeats" - this may be one of the minute details of the entire piece, but i found it amazing. The entire thing, is more than amazing.
Keep inspiring :)
His annoyance is so evident...
I pity the pencil.
Kitchen Sink..hmmm not bad...this can be tried :D
Enjoyed it!
Good buildup here. I'm glad he left the apartment before she returned!
Ok Eminem can go ahead and leave his 30 million dollar walled and gated mansion outside Detroit and go to Hollywood now.
He is another one of them who started out here, but really doesn;t fit in anymore.
Your interpretation in the flash is cool especially about not throwing the remote. Now that is pure Detroit. If the dude in your flash hit the streets of this city after dark all pissed off it wouldn't be tides of chaos it would be tsunami's of trying to survive the jacking, robberies and beatings his dumb ass would pass through to calm down.
Amazing the depth and passion in this! Very fiery and aggressive.
Cloudia, much appreciated.
Yamini, I thought that little touch really got across what it was like in his skin at that moment.
Erratic Thoughts, I've never done it, but the kitchen sink should be pretty safe. ;)
Karen, very true! The weird thing is that I didn't think of them living together. But that makes sense.
Walking Man, yeah, I'm sure that Eminem is pretty far from those streets. The remote was my little bit of guy humor. Wanting to break something so badly...oh, but not that. Can't I get my hands on something expendable??
Oddyoddyo13, yes, very true about being fiery. I respect Eminem and Rihanna for putting these emotions out there. Very difficult and damaging, but real for some.
This is blistering. I felt his frustration like a seething cauldron.
Great piece, ~that rebel, Olivia
I like how it's up to the reader to fill-in-the-blank as to what the frustration is. You really captured the moment.
Just found this site. Vibrant writing and gorgeous photography.
I agree with Yamini - "The clock paused for two heartbeats" stopped me too. I loved it. And, I have actually used the sink to burn a lover's **** many moons ago and I'm a woman. ;)
hats off. nicely done.
had been thinking of calmness in chaos myself a couple of days ago.
Oh my. Someone get the man a drink.
Tight writing and good tension. Nice tie in with the music video.
Olivia, what a great way to put it! And desperate to take away the heat.
JR, nothing beats the reader's explanation sometimes. I often have to watch that I don't push it too far, however.
Sere, welcome! I love having new visitors. Please make yourself at home. (And thank you for the very kind compliments!)
Lee, you've got the water right there an all.... Thanks for letting me know that line worked well for you too!
Raj, often I can create a bubble of calm in chaos with effort, but sometimes, I just can't. It's always an energy draining experience. It doesn't come naturally.
Terri, yikes, not sure which way that would push it. Maybe it would slow everything down, at least.
Kaye, I like when music sparks a scene. Many times these pieces are born from the car radio. They always write themselves.
I super enjoyed this! I'm supposing it was inspired by the music video? I am devoted to vignettes
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