Remember what the Dormouse said
Feed your head
Feed your head
--Jefferson Airplane, White Rabbitt
She was flesh and incense.
He was a lava lamp with the lights turned low.
She laughed at her wine.
He danced with the bottle. Slowly.
The hours clicked like knitting needles, and the music kept playing with what sounded like the same song.
He floated on incense and drowned in flesh.
She molded and caressed lava with her hands.
12 comments:
This is simply exquisite: evocative, sensual, carefree. Thank you for sharing this!
She, drunk on stage
called him a Nazi
but the band made it
through the show.
Philadelphia 1973
Wow, Jason. Well done. I especially love "the hours clicked like knitting needles."
Mmmm... makes me feel warm, fluid, and connected.
:)
What intrigues me is that while this SHOULD be an incredibly intimate moment (if I'm reading it correctly), the two characters are only seen juxtaposed with and acting upon inanimate objects. In that way, the final two lines work quite well.
On a more visceral level, if you'll forgive me for saying so, the idea of touching lava makes me go "Ouch!" and "drowned in flesh" doesn't quite sound all that pleasant.
As some one said, "the hours clicked like knitting needles" is an awesome line. The added "Slowly." makes the following line.
Well done.
vintage and classic. great poetry -- reminds me of incense & peppermints -- now who was that? :-)
Apple, so great to see a new face! I appreciate the sentiment. And that you really captured the scene.
Walking Man, you must have been there, man!
Sere, I was inspired by the vibe of the song. Like being completely washed away. Free falling, or shooting off-planet into space.
Aine, in a total, all-encompassing way! :)
Cat, you didn't feel this one. That's cool. Always nice to see you visit!
Highlandwriter, how cool is Grace Slick?! I love how she just holds you with her eyes.
Yep Right in front of the stage.
That is sweet!
Wow,Love to read you.
the warmth, lava,
color Red
so wonderfully written <3
How do you do it *shakes head* don't you have a day job! :)
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