Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Entry #101

On the Breeze
by Hilary Robertshaw

The wind whipped at their clothes as they sat on the bench looking out to sea. Her hands clasped in her lap told of a distance between them. He watched her profile, fascinated by the pulse in her neck. He wanted to touch it, to press his lips against it and feel the life force within her.
“I want to make love with you.” Her voice a whisper. He willed her to look at him but her gaze was firmly fixed on the setting sun.
“You can't want that.”
She bit her lip and he thought she was going to cry. “But I do.”
She turned to him the full force of her desire written on her face. He looked back until he could stand the torture no longer then he closed his eyes against her.

The memories flooded back, furtive hand holding, stolen moments in the back of his car, secret lunches, then the final consummation on white sheets, the sea breeze, this sea breeze, toying with the curtains and cooling their bodies.
“We got our fingers burnt so badly,” he said lifting her hand and lacing their fingers together. Her other hand touched his face making him return his gaze to hers.
“It's different now. We kept our promises, we denied each other but we're free now.”
“But so very old.” A smile sparkled in her eyes. Forty years had been kind to him.
“Yes, my love, but we're not dead yet.”


Precie said...

So ultimately sweet. I'm touched by the promise that it's never too late. Lovely work.

Peter said...

Bitter sweet and beautifully written.

Deb Smythe said...

Not dead, indeed. Like Precie and Peter, I'm drawn in by the MC's sweet nature.

Aimee Laine said...

"Yes, my love, but we're not dead yet.”
That is the best!

Unknown said...

Sweetly told tale of lovers not yet denied. I love the last line. Nicely done!!

Dottie :)

Kunjal said...

love the way you described love:)

Brigid O'Connor said...

Such a lovely tale.

Erratic Thoughts said...

Oh!This is really good..I liked the sentiment you wanted to convey...too good!

SzélsőFa said...

how lovely...

Four Dinners said...

I do like the 'not dead yet'

I say that to the wifey occasionally.

It works for me anyroad!...;-)

I suspect this story may pass relatively unnoticed and that would/will be a great shame.

This is bloody good.

Thank you.


(and if you win I apologise for thinking it may pass shouldn't and I, for one, will be well pleased if it doesn't)

4D x

Guilie Castillo said...

Lovely... Absolutely lovely. The next time I pass an elderly couple sitting on a bench I'll remember this, how passion cannot die, even if the physical world has no patience for it any longer. Thank you for sharing this; it's truly beautiful.

Katherine Tomlinson said...

Lovely is the word that comes to my mind too...May they have an even longer and happier life together.

Hilaryr said...

Thank you all for your wonderful and encouraging comments.I didn't think this story was going to happen. I had the first half for nearly a week then woke up with the end with 3 hours to go. I'm really pleased that you think it hangs together.


Precie said...

Hilary-- hangs together...Absolutely! The second part is what makes the story so effective, so special, to me. Yay for inspiration striking at just the right time.

bluesugarpoet said...

Desire doesn't have an age limit. :) Beautifully written! ~Jana A

Rachel said...

Ohhhh, Hilary ---

Few can make me recall someone 40 years ago like this did. I wish our ending had been so lovely.

Well done! Keep writing!

Old Kitty said...

Awwww this is so sweet and so romantic!! Thank you, take care

Another Government Employee said...

Never dead.

Michele Zugnoni said...

Beautiful writing. I could feel their emotions radiate from the page.

Thank you for sharing!

fairyhedgehog said...

This is nice. I love her restraint, holding her hands in her lap, and yet she's the one who says what they're both wanting.

And I'm glad that it's not too late for them after all!

Richard Levangie said...

Hilary: Such soft, sweet sadness—and yet such hope.

"Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made."

Thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Sweet without being sugary or ageist - such an empowering take on the prompt!

Anonymous said...

No, they're not dead yet. I applaud them finally seizing what they wanted to share. Very passionately written. A high scorer.

Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!