Samsara
by C. Sonberg Larson
Crying, mother young.
See eyes, watery and blue, skin wet, soul ancient.
Breathing.
Birthing another.
Light blinding. Sterile, white room.
Cold air.
Screaming. Intense pain. Wailing. Pushing.
Rushing blood, warm, out held hand.
Red appears, light filters, skin and womb.
Here, I am, wondering, waiting. Vulnerable and hairless. Dependent.
Lives past, toiling and suffering, mistakes noted.
Repeating life. Again chosen.
Gone are months of warmth and safety.
Awaiting birth.
Miracle or retribution?
Unfair, so unfair.
Retribution or miracle?
Birth awaiting.
Safety and warmth of months are gone.
Chosen again. Life repeating.
Noted mistakes, suffering and toiling, past lives.
Dependent. Hairless and vulnerable, waiting, wondering, am I here.
Womb and skin filters light, appears red.
Hand held out. Warm, blood rushing.
Pushing. Wailing. Pain intense. Screaming.
Air cold.
Room, white, sterile. Blinding light.
Another birthing.
Breathing.
Ancient soul, wet skin, blue and watery eyes see
young mother, crying.
(Please note that this poem is a palindrome—it reads the same forward and backward.)
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Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
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- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
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39 comments:
Holy frijoles. I wouldn't have realized it's a palindrome, but now that I see it, I bow at your feet.
That was cool. And I thought pantoums were tough!
Just wow.
I think I would have realized it, but I bow at your feet with Precie nonetheless.
I figured out that it was a palindrome at the last line. I am in total awe, this is amazing and it totally works. The structure itself also happens to make a pretty cool shape poem.
The name Samsara is perfect as metaphor of reincarnation is clear in the structure and repetition, implied spirals and circles. Just awesome.
Whoa.. I am so awed!
Wow...this was really amazing.. :) salute!
Okay, the imagery here would have been more than enough to stand on its own, but a palindrome to boot??? HOW??? :)
In other words, incredible.
clever!
Aww, I wish I'd said what j a said.
I love palindromes! Brave for putting a whole poem to it! :)
Precie, Catrina, Aerin, Catvibe, Choco, Yamini, JA, M.G., and Aimee, thank you for the very kind words.
Just to prove I'm an idiot I decided to spend seventeen hours composing my own palindrome.
Awesome that was. Was that awesome!
Good job. The palindrome curve in the middle caught me by surprise. Did you follow a meter of any kind?
I add my awe at your awesomeness. Talk about your fearful symmetry.
That's amazing, a palindrome that length! Kudos!
Nicely done, haven't seen a palindrome in the comps before! Rebirth or retribution, excellent.
Dottie :)
Amazing! And here I was just thinking it was the "circle of life". :) Jana A.
great job !!!
Thanks everyone for the words of support. I am truly humbled by your comments.
Michael Morse, you cracked me up! Thanks for the compliment.
Phil W, Thank you. To answer your question, nope, I didn't follow a meter of any kind.
Katherine Tomlinson, Compliments don't get much better than that. Thanks very much. I am very humbled.
Fairyhedgehog (love your name). Thank you for the kudos!
Dottie, Thanks. I'm honored to be the first palindrome entry.
Bluesugarpoet (Jana). Thanks very much. I really appreciate your kind words.
Wrath999, Thank you very much!
Being a lover of wordplay, I saw the palindrome right at the midpoint, where the mirror sits. And I love how it unwinds in a sort of reverse-forward, not undoing what was made but making a new thing in its motion. Very, very clever indeed.
Oh wow. I'm in awe - it's got such soul and emotion and is also really clever!! Thanks for sharing, take care
x
Thanks, Peter. I love wordplay as well. Your compliments are much appreciated and very humbling.
Old Kitty, Thanks so much. It means a lot to read a review like this from another writer.
Very, very nice. This reminds me of the song "Lightning Crashes" by Live. The perfect subject for a palindrome, and masterfully executed.
Thank you for sharing!
What I like most about this piece is the heartbeat quality of the lines!
I just enjoyed the flow and rhythm. It's lovely.
Yes, Mikki, I can see why that song would come to mind. Thanks very much!
Thanks Jade, I appreciate the kind words.
Richard, The flow and rhythm were important to me. Thanks for the compliment.
Terrific poem. Blown away by the creativity that made it a palindrome.
Cleverly constructed. I like the sense of reincarnation embedded in this poem.
P.S. My word verification "secret".
Bruce, thank you for the kind words.
Aiden, thanks for the compliment! "Secret"---cool!
Am I allowed to curse? I so want to use the curse words right now. In a good way of course. This is so effin' awesome! How did you ever manage to pull it off?
I feel proud if everything just fits into a structure. If it follows any sort of rhythm, I sing and dance at my happy song. But you, you do all that and put it in a palindrome. I used to hate overachievers in school, but here, I'm just awed by your prowess. Hailing frequencies open!
There's a lot of awe being expressed here and with good reason. I love the idea of birth and rebirth and using the device of a palindrome was both effective and really quite brilliant. Kudos.
Aniket, I can't tell you how flattered I am to read such a wonderful review. Thank you very much. It is such an honor to be in the midst of such amazing talent. When I read that authors appreciate my work I am speechless and humbled.
Janey V, It doesn't get better than "brilliant". Thank you very much for the kudos. It really means a lot to receive positive feedback from other writers.
When talent is there, it is there. And you have it.
Not only clever but meaningful. Excellent!
Absoluely amazing, Cindy! :-)
Dude, you rock, you dude!(Sorry, I couldn't resist. Think I'd better stick to haiku.)
But seriously,this is wonderful. I second what everyone else has so eloquently said.
This is SO COOL, Cindy! What an accomplishment! Unreal!
Love how the flip of the palindrome is the flip of POV. I've never attempted such a thing, but it must be very hard. Damn fine job!
Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!
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