Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Entry #28

"Two Lights"
by Myron Berdahl

I see a pair of lights filtering through the fog. I had been on the makeshift raft for days, maybe weeks.

The sea was calm as night came to a close; the gentle waves lulled me in and out of a transparent slumber. The food had long since run out, and I had to wonder if my mind was playing tricks on me. The night before, the crest of a passing wave disguised itself has the dorsal fin of a man-eating great white. I knew that sharks rarely exposed their dorsal fins. But, the romantic fear born out of one too many viewings of “Jaws” as a child wasn’t lessened by my higher education.

I felt the emptiness from the hunger within fill ever so slightly with the nourishment of hope. I squinted toward my salvation, hoping to get a clearer glimpse. The two beacons expanded vertically, creating twin columns of light that bordered some growing indistinguishable form. I squinted further. What was it? And then, I saw it. A whale about to swallow me whole! No, a fishing boat, and I’m to be saved!


“Honey, could you turn the lights out before coming to bed!?”, yelled my wife from upstairs.

I awoke on the couch - “It was only a dream”. I smile as I stare at a picture on the wall, situated above and between two table lamps; the great battle between man, beast, and nature – Moby Dick and Captain Ahab battling it out on the stormy high seas.


Bernita said...

Tense change?
Perhaps better to keep all in one?
Temps me to wonder if he views his wife as "the great white..."!Interesting comment on an imagination that might identify with a picture based on a book rather than the visual of the movie Jaws.

desiderata said...

Good for 3/4 of sea adventure -- the wake-up to reality is second last para could be better replaced by another brain-wave...?

Nice ride, especially with Moby Dug! and Ahalf!

Lyn said...

Well, you caught the stream-of-consciousness nature of dreams in part one of your scene - was about to comment on the apparent haphazard images but that's what my dreams are like, totally scattered. I don't think you need to tell us about your higher education - just keep the story moving with pictures; show us what you're seeing. Apply that to your final paragraph and you'll have a nice tight story. Good job. Lyndon

jason evans said...

Myron, uninque use of the lights! Your opening lines were wonderful at setting the scene and mood with few words.

Good marks for pacing.