Marley was as Dead as a Doornail

There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet's Father died before the play began, there would be nothing [ ] remarkable in his taking a stroll at night....
     --Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

I am particularly fond of A Christmas Carol. Any story that touches on the unseen world, explores Everyman, teaches wisdom, and stands the test of time is a multi-platinum winner in my book. It also follows an old tradition of telling ghost stories on Christmas Eve. And now it's your chance!

Loren Eaton, of Clarity of Night contest fame, is hosting a shared short story event on his blog I Saw Lightning Fall. You have 100 words (exactly) to write a chill-inspiring story for Christmas Eve. You post it on your own blog and send Loren a link, or he has offered to host it.

Definitely hop over if you're interested. I'm intrigued by the thought of joining in that ancient tradition. I am going to write one.

Halloween in August!

Apropos to my last quasi-spooky post, a treat is coming in August. A Deadly Treat!

My long-standing blog friend, Anne Frasier (aka Theresa Weir, a many-published author under both names), invited me to join a hard-hitting list of writers to put together a Halloween Anthology.

The result has arrived. I introduce Halloween in August:



The book is now available for pre-order at Amazon HERE for shipment in, yes, you guessed it, August.

Anne served as our fearless editor. For a great synopsis of all of the stories, visit ANNE'S BLOG.

Dive into a cool group of writer/bloggers (and also me). Order early and often!

Amanda by the Cattails (and Anthology News)

I've been a bit remiss in letting you know that I'm going to be published in a Halloween anthology edited by uber-cool bestselling writer Anne Frasier. She invited me and a group of highly talented folks to contribute stories. The anthology, by Nodin Press, will be released in September 2011.

However, I've got a more current surprise! I've been itching to revisit my original genre (the one that made me want to write): ghosts and the supernatural. If you're not ready to let summer go and would enjoy a ghost story with a touch of Clarity-of-Night dark sensuality, I've got just the thing for you! AMANDA BY THE CATTAILS (4000 words) is now available at Smashwords for $0.99.

Get it here!

Synopsis: Amanda's erotic awakening in the darkness of a summer night has changed more than her perception of her own body and the world around her. She is drawn by an odd allure to the pond behind her house. When Amanda is seen talking to a young man standing in the fields, she has no memory of the encounter. She must learn the identity of this ghost before the dark yearning for him destroys her.

So How Do I Win a Clarity of Night Contest?

How Do I Win a Clarity of Night Contest?


Clarity of Night contests focus on technical skills writing first. If you earn your place in the Forties Club with a score of at least 40 out of 45 points, I believe you've "won." (See HERE for scoring information.) HOWEVER, there are those of you who say the Forties Club is nice and all, but I want to WIN, damn it!! Okay I hear you. We're talking about the second level judging here. The much more subjective part. So I'll give you some guidance.

#1 BE ORIGINAL

During this contest, I expect to have read more than 1,000 entries over the course of my contests. Yeah, that's a lot. I can't help but get excited when I read something original and wilt a bit when I read the opposite. I definitely see patterns in certain common themes. Based on past experience, be wary of the following story concepts:

• The police have cordoned off the crime scene and the detective has just arrived.


• The abused wife is finally leaving (or killing) her husband


• A body is being picked by scavengers.


• The Earth is being invaded.


• The knowing detective is guiding/mentoring the less talented sidekick or pretty girl.


• A passing-to-the-other-side death scene.

If you chose one of these storylines (or something else done many times), that's okay, but make sure you're bringing something fresh to the concept.

#2 HAVE AN IMPACT

Make sure the story has a reason for being told in 250 words. What was is it's point? Is it memorable? Did it leave an impression?

Here are some things that don't have a huge impact:

• An introduction to a character or a situation which never really goes anywhere, especially if it feels like the beginning of a much longer work.


• Regurgitating something already famous. Yes, you can recreate the destruction of the Death Star, Rambo's rampage, or Scarlet O'Hara in Gone with the Wind, but we're much more interested in something that can only come from you.


• Stock scenes, such as The Interrogation, The Discovery of the Body, the Final Defeat of the Bad Guy. If you're doing a stock scene, make sure it's fresh and unique.

#3 MAKE US BELIEVE IT

If you are writing something that's outside of normal reality, you have to sell it to us. It has to live. So, if you're putting us on a spaceship orbiting planet Popcorn, we need to totally buy it. It can't just be one of those scenes-you-always-get-on-the-bridge-of-a-spaceship. If the scene is something that happens in real life, make us believe that too. It's just a little easier to get there, because you've lived a lot more normal life than you've visited planet Popcorn. (Hopefully.)

#4 YOU HAVE A BETTER CHANCE IF THERE AREN'T MANY STORIES LIKE YOURS

I do try to have a mix of stories in the winners circle. I believe it would be a drag if one or two genres dominated. Therefore, a contestant who wrote a unique story has a better chance that each of the ten people who wrote generally equivalent murderer/stalker stories.

#5 HUMOR AND IRONY AND SATIRE CAN WORK TOO

The story doesn't have to be a serious portrayal. Many offbeat and humorous pieces have won. Just make sure it's a story and not an essay.

Contest Scoring (And What Costs You Points)

With my 13th contest about to begin, I wanted to take a moment to refresh my guidance on what causes point deductions under my P.E.T.S. Voice scoring system.

But first, what is the system, you say? I award up to 45 possible points for the following elements:

Pacing...10 points
Entertainment Value...10 points
Technical Use of Language...10 points
Storytelling...10 points
Voice...5 points

The elements of pacing, technical use of language, and storytelling all relate to how the writer uses words to bring the story alive. Entertainment value and voice focus on overall impact and uniqueness. My scoring system is designed to reward tight writing more than a good idea. For that reason, a good story expertly written will place higher than a great story with writing issues. (I have a specific theory for why I do it that way, but that's for another day.)

So, what do I mean by "writing issues" specifically? They are anything that "pulls you out" of the story or diminishes the dream the scene is trying to weave in your brain. In short, if the writing itself drags down the story, it's a writing issue.

Here are the most common culprits:

1. Telling Instead of Showing. Most of the time, a story is strongest when it's portrayed in real time for the reader, not narrated by the author in a kind of summarized, Cliff's Notes fashion. Caveat: Judicious use of telling can be essential to giving the reader information. However, the entire piece should not be telling.

Example: Stephanie was so tired of her mother staring at her. Her mother asked so many questions all the time. She accused Stephanie of not caring. Nothing was ever good enough. Stephanie thought that she didn't even have the energy to respond anymore.

Rewrite: Stephanie pushed away the coffee cup she didn't ask for. Mother stood by the table. Angry and waiting.

Stephanie sighed with years of fatigue. "I'm sorry, mother, but I really don't know what to say to you anymore."

What's the point? Build the scene for us. Portray action. Have people talk. Don't just tell us about it second hand.

2. Over-description. If a single sentence has more than two adjectives, you're in danger of diminishing your impact. Example: The long, winding road was filled completely with a permeating, oppressive darkness.

3. Unbelievable Dialog.

Example: "What are you going to do with that hammer that you are waving in your hand?"

"I was thinking that maybe I should drive it through your skull and into your brain. In fact, I've been thinking about murdering you for ages upon ages."

Rewrite: "Put the hammer down!"

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

4. Mismatch. Mismatches can be in intensity, such as when powerful words are paired with a non-powerful moment.

Example: "The parking ticket thundered into my hands and demolished my every chance of having a glorious day."

Descriptions should generally fit the importance of the moment in length and intensity.

Mismatches can also be in time. Don't use lengthy descriptions to portray a very quick action (unless you are specifically going for a slow-motion effect).

Example: His fingers extended toward the door, and as he touched the brass, his hand curled around knob. With a twist, the door unlatched. He pulled it open and entered.

Reading these words takes about four times as long as the action itself.

5. Weak Verbs. Example: The sky was dark. The motorcycle was idling. He was eager to go. Rewrite: The clouds piled in the sky. The motorcycle engine sputtered. He flexed his hands, ready to go. Caveat: A sprinkling of weak verbs is necessary to give the reader a breath. All of the verbs can't be strong, but too many weak verbs makes the impact anemic.

6. Unnecessary Words/Tightening. Example: When he sat down on the chair, he thought he saw her go out of the door and out of the room. Rewrite: As he sat down, he saw her rush from the room. (Stronger verb too.)

7. Cliches. Example: He needed her like he needed to breathe.

The Matrix

Have you seen The Matrix movies? Remember the Operators? They are the folks who sit in front of monitors watching the matrix computer code flutter down the monitors. But they don't see code. They see the rendering itself. Code becomes streets, becomes skyscrapers, becomes hot dogs sizzling on a vendor's cart. The Operators look past the code to see their teams in the virtual world.

I see writing that way.

When it's right, I don't see the words, the letters, the punctuation. I see a world shining through, melting the harsh typing away. When it's not right, I see sentences in front of me. Bars of text locking me outside.

In order for my words to disappear, they have to be arranged just so. Their beat must synchronize with the virtual word. Their melody must play the same overture. Their shape must build the shadows and highlights.

Writing is a lulling song to the brain. A dream with our eyes wide open.

That is my number one goal.

How do you weave your written dreams?

Literary Influences (A Non-Meme)

A little while ago, a meme bounced around blogland concerning literary influences. A couple people (not naming any names, Catvibe, Linda, and Sarah) encouraged me to do it. I found the task a bit daunting, however, because despite being a writer and a languages major/minor in college (Major: Latin; Minor: English), I always felt somewhat out of place in literature courses. Others could rattle off obscure writers and quote memorized passages they kept close to their hearts. My brain just doesn't work that way. So I'm going to approach this challenge a bit differently.

These books may have influenced my writing, but they also represent signposts in my growth, my development into the person I am today. You'll find that their influences on my writing are amorphous, because I believe copying others' styles produces flat, soulless writing. I've done a ton of work to develop my own writing voice. Over countless hours and more years than I have fingers. I'd like to think my style is largely sui generis (had to throw some Latin in, LOL). And why not? I'm the product of my unique experiences. A writing style flows from the same process.

So Let's Walk the Pages:

1. Edgar Allan Poe, Tell Tale Heart and Pit and the Pendulum. (9 years old.) My first foray into adult writing. I copied Mr. Poe for a long, long time afterward.

2. Jay Anson, Amityville Horror. (11 years old.) Began a long fascination with fear as an engine for stories. One night when we were visiting family in Florida, my cousin tried to terrify me with stories of Jodi the demon pig. Something about her passion for a good scare mesmerized me.

3. Stephen King, The Shining. (14-ish years old.) A tale of fear executed beautifully. I was mesmerized by the depth and skill and intricacy.

4. V.C. Andrew, Flowers in the Attic. (14 years old.) The first story I read that broke severely from human conventions. I thought something beautiful emerged from the horrendous circumstances the children were put in. It made me think about connections with people. Special people. Deeper and more meaningful connections than are commonly formed.

5. J.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings. (14 years old.) The first time I was swept away by a world so epic. This story, along with Forrest Gump, to this day represent a unique kind of pain. What if your life experiences pile up too early? If you experience hugely momentous things when young, what do you do with the rest of your years? How do you survive the let down?

6. Constance Westby, Night Stalks the Mansion. (16 years old.) A wonderful "true" ghost story set near where we live. It was the culmination of my feelings that ghost stories and hauntings represent an odd kind of romance. An enduring connection to the past.

7. Frank Herbert, Dune. (17-ish years old). Taught me that people can be read. That people have plans and thoughts hidden from you. It taught me that interactions can have many levels, and the stakes can be deadly.

8. Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House. (17-ish years old.) The beginning of the modern, Gothic novel. It taught me not to repeat the past. I saw how people like Stephen King had taken the concept farther. We need to take the next step, and the next, not go backwards to what was done before.

9. Ray Bradbury, Something Wicked This Way Comes. (36 years old.) Suggested to me by a blogger, who likened my writing style to this book. I was blown away. I felt validated that tight, but poetic and dramatic language, could carry a story and make it shine.

10. Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves. (36 years old.) An avante garde, groundbreaking, post-modern Gothic novel. I was challenged to push the writing experience farther. To make reading itself an experience that mirrors the action. A story need not be told from a distance. It can be brought to life directly. (If you've read it, you know what I mean.)

11. Alice Sebold, Lovely Bones. (37 years old.) Taught me that tough, intricate emotion can carry a story and make it unique and compelling.

12. Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants. (38 years old.) Taught me to strive for uncommon stories and plots. Don't just rely on convention and stories that have been told hundreds of times before.


So there you have it. A bizarre, but hopefully insightful, list.

When, Then, Again

Let's say you've toiled on your writing, and finally you've conquered showing versus telling.

You've learned to describe objectively observable actions. You've stopped narrating and forcing your interpretations rather than let the reader make his or her own discoveries.

Congratulations! Showing versus telling is hard to nail down.

But check out this passage. It's got lots of action. However, there are a couple of subtle telling ghosts haunting it.

*****************************************
Cedric ducked.

The swinging sword sparked on the stone over his head. Metal sang like a battle cry.

He pounded his shield in the soldier's body. Threw him back.

When the man's foot missed the top stair, he clattered down, sword sailing and feet pitching skyward.

Then, the enemy line charged. He turned to the archers behind him.

"Retreat!" he screamed.

A black arrow pierced his shoulder and pinned him to the wall.

"Retreat!" he screamed again.
*****************************************

When. Then. Again. Little telling sprites that can still infiltrate my writing. What's the problem, you ask? Let's look at their usage above.

1. "When the man's foot missed the top stair...."

By using when, I'm communicating cause and effect and a sequence in time. The verb missed influences the verb clattered. But do we need it? The order of words already infers cause and effect. In the rewrite, after cutting when, I'd probably even try to split the sentence up: "The man's foot missed the top stair. He clattered down. Sword sailing, feet pitching skyward." The pause created by breaks is almost like that hanging breath just before the fall. Also, shorter sentences convey speed, and this is a fast scene.

2. "Then, the enemy line charged...."

Here, we have a similar communication, except here the prior action itself (clattered) is not contained in the sentence. Then simply reinforces the sequence. Again, not necessary. In fact, little insertions like this often feel like encroachments by the writer. Unless you're writing in first person, you don't want to remind the reader that you're there. No one likes someone talking to them during a movie, after all.

3. "...he screamed again."

Hmmm. So he's doing it again. Pretty obvious when you think about it. He already said it twice. Probably don't need to clobber the reader over the head. They get it. Really.

All this being said, I don't believe in "rules," so I'm not claiming that using when, then, or again means you flunk. It's just something to think about. There truly are characteristics which make writing strong, and other characteristics which make it weak. Weak writing removes the reader from the action, bogs down the experience, and forces the reader to work for the story. When, then, and again are often this sort of baggage. They're subtle. Often passable. But perhaps by rethinking their usage here and there, you'll be able to sharpen your writing that much more.

The Meaning of Words

I said a while back that if I were ever going to have a man crush, it would be Rob Thomas. In many of his songs, he weaves complex emotion with melody. Something I aspire to in writing. But I digress.

In this video, Rob Thomas explains the origin of the song "3 AM." As much as I knew I shouldn't listen, I did anyway. It's like a wreck on the highway, you just can't look away.



Words and their meaning.... What did the author intend to say? It's less of an issue in prose, but in poetry and songs, it's a potent question. And seductive.

Rob's lyrics meant something different to me than what he meant. I can't put my finger on it exactly, but it had something to do with two people not connecting. About the woman in the relationship spiraling down.

I have to admit that when I hear the "true" meaning behind a poem, it can intrude. But if you're like me, it's very hard to look away.

What do you think? How important is the author's intention? Do you want to know, or would you rather keep your own, private reading sacred?

Time to Clean My Cage

Thanks to one of the blogging community's most powerful new writers, Sarah Hina, it's time to roar! Canterbury Soul and Vesper, two of my twilight compatriots, also provoked me a little while back. The jungle is all a-tremble tonight.

About the award:

Seamus Kearney of Shameless Words believes in powerful writing, and he believes that it can be, and is, found in many places on the internet. This award was developed by him to put forth that belief and to encourage writers to roar.

The rules are simple and can be found at the original site. Please follow the link and pick up your award. The Shameless Lions Writing Circle.

The most fun about this award is that each recipient shares the key ingredients he or she sees in powerful writing. Here's mine:

1. Surgery. Above all, I believe writers exist to dissect the human psyche. Everyone is bombarded by the superficial. Writers burrow deeper. We don't settle for the simple smile or the simple tear. We slap our rafts down in the white water and dare it to whip us through the cut canyons. We get bloodied. We get wet. That's okay. The ride is worth it.

2. Wings (or if your genre dictates, those creepy flying monkeys). By the second or third sentence in a story, the wings of another world should swoop down and rip you off your sofa and carry you off to a brand new landscape. A story is a quantum leap into a parallel universe. If you feel your shoes scraping on the ground, you need to suck more helium.

3. The Artisan's Touch. Powerful writing is like a master craftsman's wares. Words are the pottery. Sentences are the hammered copper bowls. We have a whole dictionary as our palette (unabridged, if you dare). Great writing says it in new ways. It's the only way I know that scribbles of ink on a page can begin to glow.


Many, many of the writers/bloggers I would recognize have already received this award. I do have the opportunity to name a couple more (although they may have received the award too). I hereby bestow the Roar Award on:

ELECTRIC ORCHID HUNTER. An amazing blog. He posts when inspiration strikes, and what he might lose in volume is more than made up in quality. He shares his biology background in order to teach, make us think, and show us facets of the world we might not otherwise see. In addition, he's a hell of a writer.

ANGELIQUE. A freelance writer who posts life observations, family foibles, and curiosities in the world. When she turns to fiction, her crisp, direct style delivers a bright energy. Always a pleasure to read.

I'm proud to be part of this community. Keep pushing against conventions, never run from an idea, and take no prisoners!

Contest Time!!

Next Wednesday, I'm throwing it down. Short fiction contest #7 at The Clarity of Night.

Do you have what it takes to join the esteemed company of past winners like Jamie Ford who just sold his first novel in a two-hand, spinning, over the head slam dunk?

Who cares! It's a blast no matter how you slice it. Make new friends and hang with other writers. The community spirit is way better than the prizes. (Well, except cold hard cash really isn't so bad either.)

Tune in Wednesday! In the meantime, get greased and limber, and spread the word.

Five Strengths as a Writer Meme

Vesper tagged me to talk about what I see as my 5 greatest strengths as a writer. It's not the most comfortable topic for me, since I generally believe it's up to other people to identify our strengths. We're a bit biased (and possibly delusional), after all! I like a meme now and then, however, so I'm going to give it a go.

What I think I'm good at:

1. Mood. The atmosphere of a story is one of my favorite elements to create. Creative choices in scene setting are infinite. The danger, however, is to go overboard. I had to learn to pull back and give the reader some space.

2. Livability. I try to stay very close to the action so the reader can live the scene. I avoid adding a layer of character retelling/commentary.

3. Strong language. I've found that brief, but vivid sentences with strong verbs have far more impact that a paragraph jam-packed with description. My background as a Latin major also helps me mix up the structure of sentences to keep the feeling fresh.

4. Pacing to real time. Along the lines of #2, I want the experience of reading my stories to generally take the same amount of time as the action described. The language reflects the reality. For example, no literary treatment of high tension/action scenes. The flying pace is reflected in short, racing sentences.

5. Learning. Even as I say these things, I think I can improve. I simply don't trust myself to ever get it totally right. That attitude helps me separate writing failures from personal failures.

How about you? What are your strengths?

Openings

Chicken Mushroom
Laetiporus sulphureus

Warm days and cool, moist nights are coming to the forest. The mushrooms are changing. Summer finds are disappearing--the chanterelles, oysters, and boletes. The transition brings the bear tooth mushrooms and the chicken mushrooms pictured above. We had some with our sauteed chicken. Delicious!

My wife and I were sitting on our cabin front porch reading in the company of the forest yesterday, and I realized how rare a moment it was. When I was teenager, my family went on two-week vacations to the shore. There was so much time to sit and listen to the huge voice of the ocean and get lost in the pages of the latest novel. I understand now that it was a time of opening, both to my own thoughts and those of the authors I read.

I suppose that's why I write more than any other reason. I want to do for other people what those quiet summer days did for me.

The Dreaded Plot Hole

I'll admit it. I'm wound too tight when it comes to plotting stories. I'm terrified of plot holes. You know, that cute little a short-circuit in a story which makes the whole dream world flutter down like a house of cards.

The strange thing is, I'm far more forgiving of plot holes missed by other authors. Let's face it. Plot holes are everywhere. There are plot holes in life.* They're simply called senior moments, or forehead slappers, or mistakes. We don't always see the obvious solution or inconsistency.

I have to let this fear go, because it makes me miss out on the chance to create some truly inventive stories. Every single angle doesn't need to square up. Heck, if J.R.R. Tolkien is guilty of a major plot hole, I can certainly hazard one. Check out this all-too-true parody of Lord of the Rings:

That didn't occur to me. Giant eagles were a deus ex machina device used twice in the series. Why not use it right up front?

I think Tolkien just groaned in the grave.

It's okay, man. Really.

(*Like the time I got horribly lost in the woods in winter. The whole traumatic experience could have been avoided if I thought to follow my tracks back through the virgin snow.)

Inspirations

Once in a while, a person speaks some words which stay with us. Maybe it was praise, or maybe it was tough love. I'd like share some of the quintessential moments in writing when a person cared enough to point me the right way.

Think about some of your own moments when someone reached out to you and inspired you. It doesn't have to be about writing. It can be about life in general. Feel free to share in the comments.

Whatever you do in life, I hope you make a place for writing.
--9th Grade English Teacher, 1984

The first person who seriously encouraged me to write. His enthusiasm was strong and infectious. I owe a great deal to him.

The writing feels like it came out of a meat grinder. It's all the same.
--College English Professor, 1988

The first direct, blunt, and undeniably correct criticism I received. He taught me that stories are more than mere communication. Magic happens when the language itself has wings, when you strive to say things in new ways.

Do you want me to do this?
--A friend uncomfortable with my reaction to a critique of my first novel, 2001

I learned that there are two people responsible for a critique. The one giving it should be firm and honest, yet positive. The one receiving it should fight the urge to be defensive, hurt, or depressed.

You should read Lessons from a Lifetime of Writing by David Morrell.
--Agent rejecting my first novel, 2004

Another moment when I learned I had wandered astray. This time, it was about losing touch with the action, being self-indulgent, and allowing the reader to yawn.

I already don't want to read any more.
--My wife reacting to over-description in an opening paragraph, 2006.

Over-description is the opposite side of the "meat grinder" issue above. Vivid description is like adding spoonfuls of sugar to your coffee. Too much is disgusting.

You're a master of description.
--Internet friend and author, 2006

After all the care and hard work, its nice to see some things finally working. However, the process of growth never ends.

*****

Hats off to those who inspire us. Their nudges become the path of our lives.

"You Ended the Story Where it Should Have Begun"

(First in a series on thoughts about writing.)

Once upon a time, I was watching "Party of Five." You know, Neve Campbell, that guy, and that other guy. Five kids try to hold it together after their parents died. The older brother has to go to work and sacrifices his dreams; there's lots of angst, everybody "hurting," etc.

But I digress.

In one episode, Neve Campbell's character was taking a college creative writing class. She wrote a very fine piece. I have to admit it sounded good. The professor had a blunt reaction, though. He said, "you ended the story where it should have begun." She was devastated and planned to drop the class.

I think I've come to understand what he meant.

This particular phenomenon lives in the old "show, don't tell" neighborhood, and in the spirit of showing, I'm going to demonstrate. For the first piece, imagine hearing the words of the narrator in a movie like "Stand by Me" or a TV show like "The Wonder Years." It might go something like this:

My mother always brought my lunch to class. Every single day. The other mothers packed lunches and were happy to send them crumpled in hands, dropped on buses, and shoved into corner of lockers. But not my mother. She kept mine in the refrigerator until ten minutes before noon. Then, she came. Right into the classroom to hand it me.

It made me ever so popular. I never forgave her for that.

As a writer, this paragraph was pretty comfortable to write. I explored the character, set the tone of the story, and gave you essential back story. Unfortunately, I've also failed. Why? Because I just gave you the Cliff's Notes version of my story.

Hidden in all that exposition, there's gobs of action. But I didn't deliver any of it. I've hoarded it all to myself.

Perhaps this would be better:

Mrs. Rose slashed the chalk on the blackboard.

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.

I misspelled the word "misspelled" again. Oh man, she hated that.

Her face flushed. "Billy! m-i-s...S! I've been quizzing you people on this word for two months! Do you think you can finally fit that somewhere in your brain?"

"Yes, Mrs. Rose."

"Two S's!"

"Yes, Mrs. Rose."

I glanced at the clock for the fourth time. The second hand kept sweeping. That's why I mispelled it.

I mean misspelled!

It was coming any moment. I sank down and begged my ears not to get red. She knocked when my eyes were closed.

"Mrs. Rose? Mrs. Rose?"

The teacher didn't even answer anymore. She just waved from her desk.

Is Billy here? I have his lunch for him."

Someone snickered, and a spitball smacked me in the hair.

Is the experience of reading that more engaging? The trick is to carefully weave in the back story while letting the readers live experience. By manipulating mood, description choices, character interaction, and dialog, the readers can piece together everything they need. A story created in the readers' minds will always be far more vivid that one we can package for them.

So what was Neve's problem in a "Party of Five?" Her piece was the back story, the narration. Almost like the notes a writer makes before diving beginning a story. When she was done, and we were ready to dive into the action, there was nothing more.

Let your characters live and breathe right away. By living with them a while, we'll get to know them. Just give them an exciting world to walk around in, and it will all come together.