Saturday, April 22, 2006

Entry #3

"Rekindled"
by Jeff Neale


Shawn and Melanie agreed to make one last attempt to salvage their fifteen-year marriage by renting a room at a quaint twentieth century Bed & Breakfast for the weekend. The idea was to spend the entire time together without outside interruption and see if the dying flame could be rekindled. The agreement included no cell phones, television, or laptops.

Their room, Victorian Dream, was located on the second floor.

They climbed the stairs and followed the beautiful hardwood floor to their room. Beside their door stood an antique oak table supporting a matching pair of small Victorian candle lamps.

Once inside, Melanie sat down and ran her hand along the coverlet of the king size four-poster bed, while Shawn stepped out onto the balcony.

Later she stood beside him watching the setting sun bathe the hills beyond in a splendid array of colors.

"Is this going to work?" Melanie said, breaking the silence.

"You mean us?" Shawn said.

"Yes"

"Maybe" he said. "If we're both willing to try I think it can."

Leaving their room for dinner, they noticed one of the two candles on the hallway table had gone out.

Melanie held the globe as Shawn relit the candle. Now two lights joined as one again.

"Do you think relighting that candle was a sign?" Melanie said, cautiously watching for his reaction.

"I was just wondering the same thing," Shawn said.

Then Melanie did something she had not done for a long time . . . she smiled.

19 comments:

Bernita said...

Nice use of light/quench symbols.
Variety of themes so far, Jason.

ann marie simard said...

Hi Jason! Great it is doing so well. I will participate if you do the same with mine.. lol.

anne frasier said...

very nice, jeff! your writing always has such great flow and beat!

September said...

That was touching, Jeff. I'm sure a lot of couples can relate to what you've described.

Erik Ivan James said...

A very "human" story, Jeff. Good job.

Robin said...

Love this, you make it look so easy!

Bhaswati said...

Sweet! That sounds like a great way to rekindle lost love. Nice metaphor :)

Jaye Wells said...

I like the symbolism here. Reminded me of the tradition of lighting Unity candles at weddings.

sandra said...

Very beautiful, Jeff.

Kelly Parra said...

Very nice, Jeff! =D Love your emotional stories!

Jeff said...

Thank you all for your kind comments. :)

Jim said...

Very poetic, sort of a renewal of vows. The only syntactical hitch I noticed was 'without outside' in the first paragraph - felt a bit awkward. Otherwise, excellent story!

Lyn said...

Good symbolism - the unity candle theme is what came to mind for me as well. I was hoping they both saw the sign as "hopeful" instead of another struggle. Wasn't quite sure she was sad at the beginning, so the smile at the end didn't pack as big a punch for me as you probably intended. But that's more my reading than your writing. Good job. Lyndon (Entry #24)

skees said...

As always, well consructed, great emotion and wrapped up neatly. Really very good Jeff.

skees said...

sorry, "skees" is me.;)

forgot to sign.
-John Wilson

Jeff said...

Thank you Jim, Lyn, and John. :)

ann marie simard said...

Hi Jeff - I never thought our stories had so much in common! The marriage thing, the Victorian thing... Great prose writing Jeff.

Jeff said...

Thanks, Ann Marie. :)

jason evans said...

Jeff, a powerful sense of quiet discomfort in this piece. I felt the tension between them. It's a turning point in their relationship. If the getaway doesn't work to rekindle their feelings, there may be nowhere else to go.