Thanks to Tsavo for stepping up to the challenge again! As with the earlier entry to share, only Tsavo's first entry will be considered in the judging. Thanks Tsavo!
"Room Service"
by Tsavo Leone
“...the elevator to the third floor, turn left, and it’s the room just after the portrait, on the left hand side of the corridor.”
Clara already knew exactly which room she was looking for, and where it was, but the receptionist had caught her off-guard. Fortunately, the hotel already had a well-deserved reputation and, considering her choice of clothing for the day, she fitted in well enough to be able to bluff her way through their exchange. The man she was looking for had booked into the same room in this hotel every other Thursday for the better part of two years, and each time he did he made use of the local escort agencies.
Clara chose the stairs rather than the elevator – maybe she was simply putting the moment off – and found her calves ached by the time she reached the third floor. Her high heels pinched at her ankles and her short skirt had ridden up almost indecently. She took a moment to compose herself before stepping into the corridor, and then walked straight passed the elevator and onto the portrait.
A deep breath. A forced smile. She knocked on the door.
As the door handle began to turn she reached into her handbag.
As the door began to open she removed the gun.
As her husband’s face greeted her she pulled the trigger.
The prostitute on the bed didn’t even blink.
Clara had left the hotel before her husband finally died.
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2 comments:
Great title.
My first reaction - "serves the bastard right" says something about the visuals I think.
Ouch. Yep, good title. Quick details kept the story moving right to the end. A bit of awkward wording last big paragraph: "passed the elevator and onto the portrait" - maybe cut "onto the" and add "to the door." No biggy. But last sentence changes tenses? Cut "had" and "finally." Thoughts? Over all good quality. Lyndon
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