Monday, June 26, 2006

Entry #30

"Midnight Call"
by John Thornquist

“You know, Dodson, I believe you,” Duffy was saying. “Me? I don’t think you ever crossed Eddie.” He shifted his bulk in the chair. The man was a mess: sweat-stained collar, fat gut spilling over his trouser tops, pasty complexion. Dodson watched him light another cigarette and inhale the smoke deeply. Duffy looked like a pig trained to walk on two legs. Dodson would have told him so too, but for the duct tape.

“You’re lucky he gave you this chance,” Duffy continued. Then he glanced at the clock, a wind-up Baby Ben. “Uh oh,” he said with a snorting laugh. “Tick, tock, tick, tock.”

Duffy took another long pull from his cigarette and regarded Dodson through squinted eyes. A minute passed. Finally he said, “See those telephone wires outside the window?” Dodson pulled at the chair’s leather restraints to spy a telephone pole pierced through by cables, rigid as a crucifix against a murky sky. “Sound travels very quickly through those things. Dial a number, make a connection, and . . . salvation!” whispering the last word with outspread hands, like a
conjurer. “If your friend dials that number.” Pause. “And tells us what you say happened, happened.”

Suddenly the alarm clock shattered the air with its bell. Duffy reached over and cut it off.

Then he picked up the pistol.

“I am truly sorry, Dodson,” he said.

Duffy fired once, a loud, banging shot that momentarily impaired his hearing.

But he heard the telephone ring afterward all the same.


Flood said...

Chilling but fun read.

Bhaswati said...

Clever use of the telephone pole. Enjoyed reading this.

Scott said...

I had the same reaction as Bhaswati. This was the best integration, in my opinion, of the contest theme. Done seamlessly without drawing attention. Loved the dialog and imagery. Nice ouch of an ending too.

For The Trees said...

Ah...the sound of "OOPS..." It's the executioner's song.


Great story!!

JLB said...

Well written! This piece has great descriptions and a wonderful bit of irony.

jason evans said...

John, such great pacing and story development! The first paragraph was especially fresh and exciting. You wove a fine story. High marks for pacing, entertainment, and storytelling.