Moonlighting
by Noemi
Ananya awoke to the sound of the telephone blaring in her ear. She'd fallen asleep on the hand which was gripping the phone. The light of the moon streamed onto her bed, and diagonally across her body.
It seemed as if she was cut, by light, in two. She winced at the irony.
Her eyes sought the clock glowing red on the bureau sitting across from the bed-
3:28am
"I knew he would call back". Thank God, she whispered to herself.
She pressed the "talk" button and the words began to spill out of her mouth as if the button was a remote control, and she was an electronic device.
"Michael, I'm so sorry- please forgive me, you know I love you, it's just that I get so wound up and stressed out sometimes I cannot control my tongue. Sweetheart, please don't hold it against me. We'll work it out. I feel that this time I have the courage-"
Michael?
Are you there?
"Nani darling, the connection here is very poor, so just listen ok, I might get cut off. My plane comes in at 5. Please don't be late, also, if you could bring my grey suit-"
The line went dead, she hadn't uttered a word.
Ananya looked through her window at the mottled moon. You know how I feel, don't you?
As Ananya hung up the phone, and whispered once again "Thank God".
For she realized that her husband, Surit, hadn't heard one word she said.
Monday, August 28, 2006
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14 comments:
I like the subtlety of the light cutting her in two. An elegantly woven story.
Very nice story Noemi. It made me think.
Stories about the intracacies of relationships are my favorite kind. Great.
Fitting title too.
Well done.
great use of the moonlight to symbolize the duality of her life. very nice!
Enjoyed your story. The title is so apropos.
I like the fact that her husband calls her darling -- it makes him so human and he really seems like he is completely unaware of what is going on.
Loved the title and the light symbolism. Nice story, and nice job
BD
Perhaps there was a little magic in the moon that night. Cute story.
I enjoyed this story...good writing. Imaginative.
He calls you at 3:28 am and tells you not to be late for his 5 am plane and you ARE worried that HE might be upset?
Just kidding! This is one of those stories that makes you think everything happens for a reason. Good job.
He calls you at 3:28 am and tells you not to be late for his 5 am plane and you ARE worried that HE might be upset?
Just kidding! This is one of those stories that makes you think everything happens for a reason. Good job.
The moonlight patterns symbolizing her train of thought is very effective. Enjoyed reading this. :)
The raw emotion and relief really comes through. I love the grey suit, also. A good metaphor. High marks overall.
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