Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Entry #84

Cleansed
by Brandon Horne


From the top he didn’t hear the shouting anymore. The raucous drivers below couldn’t see him, so none of their unwanted jeers were directed his way. That didn’t mean the same were true in the other direction. Leaning on his right leg, he placed the flyer underneath his left as padding from the bolt head digging into his skin. His hands were raw from the climb, and his feet burned still from the asphalt below. The summer heat made it difficult to walk barefoot on the black surface until a couple of hours after sunset. At least the river had provided relief. His clothes lay on the banks, waiting, stinking from the putrid water and weeks of sour body odor. His pills were there too, the ones he stopped taking two days ago. There was no reason to take them if he were still going to live this way, wandering the shadows, horrified of his own mind. The flyer said it didn’t have to be that way anymore. It said he could be a new man; if only he cleansed himself, he would be reborn. Stroking his matted beard he knew he’d been unsuccessful. Shining upward the spotlight reflected from his ass giving company to the lonely pockmarked face hovering in the sky. The bullhorn screeched as the blue clad man coaxed him from his perch. Beginning his moonlit descent he clung tightly to the paper, hoping that the cop could tell him how it worked, how to be cleansed.

11 comments:

Joni said...

Desperation from a shadowed mind. Very intriguing.

Jim said...

I feel for this guy. I've dealt with so many people who struggle with mental disorders. It's a tough place to be in when nothing seems to stave off the madness. Well written!

anne frasier said...

wow. this is wonderful, brandon.

powerful, immediate, and real.

Bernita said...

Poor desperate guy...
You bring our sympathy into play well.

Susan Abraham said...

A commendable piece of fiction. Thoughtfully recaptured and one that stands very well on its own.

Robert Ball said...

Disturbing as it should be.

Nicky said...

You've captured the tormented, desperate mind really well. Well done, Brandon.

Wilf said...

Great atmosphere and smooth action. Excellent read, Brandon.
Addy

Brandon said...

Thank you all for the encouragement and feedback on my submission. I get better with every new insight.

Bhaswati said...

The desperation is so real, it breaks your heart. Gripping read, Brandon.

jason evans said...

I think you conveyed the confusion and desperation quite well. The single paragraph helps in that regard. Good marks overall.