Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Entry #95

Maybe this Time
by Amin Motin


Surrounded by trees on high mountain ridges, I knew that I couldn’t travel far that night. The moon was full and I must have been visible for miles. I was weary and frightened. By now, they must have realised that I’d gone. They’d soon be looking for me with the dogs, rabid beasts used to terrorise us and tame us into submission.

I was one of the lucky ones. I’d escaped the ovens and now I’d escaped the camp. God willing I’d escape with my life this time. I pressed on, unsure really where I was headed and whether it was to safety, or suffering. Floating gently upon the breeze came the sound of yapping, barking, shouting. So, it had begun.

I ran as fast as my emaciated legs could carry me, but I was no longer the athlete I once was. Years of starvation had seen to it that I was little more than skin and bones – a bag of mostly water, in fact. For a brief moment I thought I heard my pursuers change direction, but that was never meant to be. Inexorably they closed in on me, hunting me down like a dog. That’s what I was – a dog. My purpose in life now to be hunted.

When they caught me the Major looked at me with contempt.

“This one is too old to play the quarry anymore. There’s no challenge left. Shoot him.”

They were the final words I ever heard. My death sentence.

14 comments:

Joni said...

Brutal and so sad. He fought through the despondency and still met his sad fate. Evocative. Noble. So good.

anne frasier said...

amin, you conveyed so much so simply and with so few words. excellent.

Jim said...

Troubling and brutal. Nice portrayal of a voice from history.

Jude said...

An interesting take on it Amin. I like the justaposition of safety and suffering.

Jude said...

I meant to type juxtaposition!

Nicky said...

Gritty and powerful. Well-written, Amin.

Brandon said...

Great job capturing the fear inside him.

Saaleha said...

vividly written. Nice.

Bhaswati said...

Tragic and vivid. You capture the man's last ditch efforts to survive so well, Amin. Thanks for sharing. :)

Amin said...

Thank you everyone for the kind words.

I've found online challenges such as this and the one posted by Brandon a while ago a tremendous motivator for actually writing, rather than thinking about writing.

I was feeling a bit hopeless when I wrote this (my business isn't doing as well as I'd like) and I played around with the idea of surmounting obstacles over and over only to fail, finally.

My business is still not doing as well as I'd like, but I don't feel quite as despondent.

The Wandering Author said...

Amin, I really like this one. You packed so much reality, so many feelings, so much hope and so much despair, all in so few words. I'm sorry your business isn't doing as well as you'd like, and I certainly hope it does better. But, however the rest of your live may go, you are a very good writer.

The Wandering Author said...

Oops! I meant to type "life", not "live". Sorry for the typo. They're strange but ubiquitous beasts, aren't they?

Amin said...

Thanks Ray.

I suppose the actual emotions in the piece were my own, at the time. Today I'm feeling quite upbeat and optimistic. That's down to planning ahead and trying to attack the current problems.

Now, I'm not normally given to being so introspective and maudlin, but in that piece there does seem to be a chunk of me, if you know what I mean.

jason evans said...

Intriguing twist. I certainly wasn't expecting that!