Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Entry #97

Entry #97
by Roy


I can't remember how I died. I see the moon is in the trees, rising slowly out of the branches and I get up and walk towards it, through the woods and to the empty highway. On the other side I see my house with the livingroom lights on. There in the yard, sitting by the swing set, is my dog. I dare not call him.

I see the full moon peeking at me through the treetops, and I know that behind me the sun has set, because that's how it works, but I never remember the day. I also know the moon shouldn't be full every night. Not every night. Not like this. This isn't the real way the moon comes.

I go back to the highway, but I cannot cross it. I am not allowed to. Once I tried riding across on the back of a deer, but she didn't like the open space of the highway, and ran back into the woods.

The moon is slow. It goes way over the highway, moving with infinite slowness, high up over my head as I stand and watch from a safe distance on the shoulder. Yesterday I remembered tidal forces from a book I read in school. When the moon was overhead I stood very still, with my shoes off, and raised my arms toward her and wished she would pull me up and carry me across, because I don't think I weigh hardly anything.

And she did.

18 comments:

Joni said...

Curious take on the journey we must make after our mortal one. I like the sense of discovery and experimentation. Gotta find your way in the next world too. Great stuff.

Roy said...

Thanks, Joni. I'm not sure what I meant...

anne frasier said...

i absolutely love this. fantastic, roy.


"When the moon was overhead I stood very still, with my shoes off, and raised my arms toward her and wished she would pull me up and carry me across, because I don't think I weigh hardly anything.

And she did."

you made me cry!

this is a beautiful, sad song.

Nicholas Abbot said...

This is outstanding. Especially the paragraph Anne mentioned. Fantastic.

bekbek said...

The whole symbolism of the road that can't be crossed is beautiful. I love this story.

Jim said...

Agreed, this is a beautiful story. I like the notion that this spirit is caught perpetually in the same spot, with the moon being always full.

dreadmouse said...

The finish really makes this piece, Roy. The simplicity of the closing is wonderful, and a great reminder that sometimes using simple wording is best. Nice work.

Roy said...

Thank you, everybody. Thanks for the feedback.

The 250 word limit pretty much demands simplicity, wherever possible.

Betina Krahn said...

Atmospheric. Very nice.

Love the logic and search for answers even in the "Afterward" of life. . . implying it's NOT over.

Robert Ball said...

A great expression of crossing over to the other side. I agree too with Anne's favorite phrase.

jenny said...

This is so lovely, Roy. Such great imagery. I reread it three times - just lovely.

a. said...

Nice.

Suzanne Smith Karg said...

Congratulations on your well-deserved win!

briliantdonkey said...

agreed, congrats on the win. Very nicely done story!

BD

Nicky said...

Evocative and intriguing story. Congratulations on a really well-deserved win.

Nicholas Abbot said...

Congrats on second place! Great writing.

"...because I don't think I weigh hardly anything."

Man, that's a good line.

Nicholas

angel said...

very cool, i like the imagery of the same moon and the uncrossable road.

jason evans said...

Such a powerful end and a unique view of death. I was moved by the weakness and sadness. Really a perfect moment. Highest marks overall!

Congratulations on Second Place!!