Friday, October 06, 2006

18 and Life to Go*

I was digging through old photographs looking for possible blog material, when I came across a couple real gems. In fact, I couldn't stop laughing.

My friend and I conned our parents into letting us take one of their cars, rent a condo for us (we paid), and wave goodbye as we motored off to Myrtle Beach. It was the summer after graduation. College loomed in two months. Everything was going to change.

Here we are enjoying the infinite pleasures of underage drinking. The stores and bars down there would serve a chimpanzee back then. Real hard to pick which one is me, I bet. I love the wine/beer thing. I just didn't like how weak beer is, I swear!! I would've opted for whiskey if the grocery stores sold it. Seemed to me that if you aimed to get drunk, you might as well get right to it. (Oh wait, I still think that way.)

This one was taken a couple days later after my friend completed his study of intestinal alcohol absorption rates. He is pouring all his beer down the drain (and hey, he's wearing the same shirt). The night before, we managed to prove in a tightly controlled environment that gulping down a ton of vodka is kind of like going to bed with a fistful of sparklers. You're gonna get burned.

That night I had the pleasure of being rained with projectile vomiting. What's that you ask? What did we have for dinner?


And they didn't look so very different when I saw them a second time.

*I'd like to give proper credit to Sebastian Bach and Skid Row for this late 80's classic.


Susan Abraham said...

Hi Jason,
Always knew you were good-looking!
And plus, you survived to tell the tale.
I bet this little slice of rebellion would serve as a grand touch of memory in the years to come.
Really enjoyed this post.

anne said...

I love how earnest you look. Underage drinking notwithstanding, life is not to be taken lightly at 17, is it. ;)

jlb said...

oh yeah - the party house! ahh... I have too memories like those. :)

gotta remember: beer before liquor will make you sicker... liquor before beer will bring you cheer! and ditto on the wine.

Scott said...

There was a brief period where I drank 151 Bacardi. I got in a fight with two of my friends, pissed off a whole dormitory floor and pretty much got banned, and woke up in jail for stealing a beer glass and mixing it up with the bouncer. I went back to beer after that.

I totally forgot about that song! That brings back some memories.

Bernita said...

"a second time..."
This is all seriously hysterical!

Jay said...

Oh man. That's nasty.

Jaye Wells said...

You crazy kids! I can't believe he actually poured out the beer.

Sebastian Bach was hot.

jason evans said...

Susan, thanks for the compliment! It was an interesting trip. On the way home, I wandered the backroads in South Carolina and North Carolina taking pictures. I pulled some of those out for posting too. After a week with my friend, though, we were a bit sick of other, lol.

Anne, ha! So true. There's a good deal of that guy still around. He sneaks onto this blog.

JLB, words to live by! Man, I knew that kid was drinking too fast. But he just wouldn't listen. Oh well, he spent the night with a sink.

Scott, Skid Row was one of those groups you just couldn't hate even though you might try. 151 rum is serious stuff! Anything that will freely burn has to be treated with reverence.

Bernita, this all happened in the room of this guy's older friend. I didn't want to spend the night there, so I went back to our room in another hotel. Later, I called to make sure the kid was still alive, and the phone rang and rang and rang. I thought for sure they had taken him to the hospital. Finally, someone picked up. "Uh, you're kind of interrupting something," he said. Did I mention his girlfriend was there? Oops. Sorry.

Jay, the understatement of all time came from a girl sitting there. After we all got sprayed, she managed to say, "Oh, that's gross."

Jaye, I'm surprised he could even stand to smell it after what he went through. There was the lump on his head from the toilet bowl and all....

Joni said...

And THAT, my friends, is why I don't drink.

anne frasier said...

sweet alcohol-consuming jesus

Anonymous said...

Could not help but notice Jason, that your friend seems to have lost his trousers in his haste down his drink. A sad state of affairs. maybe he should pull that chain and see if another pair appear!

Jess Riley said...

Hahaha! Say, are you doing your Russian novelist pose? ;)

I think my husband was friends with the same guy.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

If it wasn't for drugs and alcohol the world would be a much less funny place.

jason evans said...

Joni, and as I proved, don't sit too close to someone drinking either.

Anne, are you talking about me or the event? I can see that going either way, lol!

Minx, too funny! Man, I really hope I wasn't sitting there drinking with a dude in his underwear.

Jess, you know, I think you might be onto something there! I am looking a bit Russian. I think I take after my maternal grandfather, who was Hungarian, so I suppose that's close. ** This guy was very good for a few laughs.

Stephen, so very true. Like the time I passed out on my friend's bathroom floor, and in the morning, his mother hit me in the head with the door. Priceless.

Anonymous said...

You're so cute in this picture! But don't you know that when you're within Myrtle Beach city limits, the only proper thing to drink is Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill? It is the drink of choice among miscreant underage youth down here. That and Mad Dog 20/20 which tastes like grape soda coming and going.

Anonymous said...

And I saw Skid Row in concert once. Sebastian Bach was way less bloated-looking then.

Anonymous said...

Ah, the good ole days.

jason evans said...

Writing Blind, thanks! And no, I didn't know that about what to drink. See, that's where we went wrong. Good flavor in both directions would've spared him a certain unpleasantness. For my part, just nothing that stains, please. ** Regarding Sebastian, yeah, I saw him on that Supergroup show. He really can't hit those soaring notes anymore. Or anything close for that matter.

Dana, yes, truly. :D

Wilf said...

Oh dear, what a familiar story! I wonder if all students are actually the same the world over? With me it was kebabs or was it baked potatos - either way, it wasn't pleasant.

Terri said...

I'm suddenly inundated with slightly hazy memories all smelling of alcohol. Thanks for sharing the laugh :-)

jason evans said...

Addy, I'm suddenly thinking that kebabs might actually be worse than tacos. Wow. Bad images, bad images.

Terri, my pleasure. :D Glad you enjoyed it!