Sunday, January 07, 2007

Entry #22

Bubba's Freedom
by Jeff Neale


Pops shuffled over to Tony who was leaning against a utility pole in the middle of the exercise yard.

"Whatup, old man?" Tony said.

"You see em?" Pops said.

"See what?"

"Them wires a runnin from that box over by the jailhouse up to this pole and then out over that wall yonder," Pops said.

"Yeah, so?" Tony said.

"That there's the way Bubba gonna fly away from here come dark," Pops said.

"What the hell you talkin about you old hillbilly?" Tony said.

"I'm talkin bout what most people reckon happens when all that juice hit a man in that chair.

They say it burns up his life right then and there and that's the end of it, but it ain't so."

"You're trippin, man," Tony sneered. "Bubba's barbeque meat."

"Listen at me, when they cut on that juice it ain't gonna kill no Bubba. What it is gonna do is suck ole Bubba's ghost right up outta that chair, through them wires, an clean on over that wall to sweet freedom," Pops said.

"You're so full of shit," Tony said, pointing his finger in Pop's face. "They ought to fry your scrawny little ass right along with his."

At 8:30 pm, the corridor lights outside of Pop's cell flickered briefly.

"Fly, Bubba, fly." he whispered.

[Jeff Neale is the author of several short stories, many of which can be found on his blog, The Write Thing. His short story "The Question of Laura" was selected for publication in the July 2006 inaugural issue of The Picolata Review. His hobbies include reading, golf, and music.]

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

A lively fast-paced plot mixed with its fair share of dark voices.
Very engaging!

Bernita said...

GOOD, Jeff!
Damned good.

Christian said...

This is the best one I've read. Lovely and dark. I love the idea of the executed man's soul being literally conducted to freedom via the power lines.

Jaye Wells said...

I really liked this, Jeff!

Anonymous said...

This is great, Jeff!

Jim said...

Interesting notion. Very cool!

Joni said...

Very very good.

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
S. W. Vaughn said...

I love a good jail story. Great job! :-)

anne frasier said...

very nice, jeff!

Anonymous said...

This is a great idea. I like it.

Anonymous said...

I am always impressed by your narrative abilities with your stories and this is no exception. Great work Jeff


BD

Rebecca said...

Your characters always seem real and I am able to picture everything clearly. Good work in such a short story!

Jeff said...

Thank you all for your kind comments. :)

Anonymous said...

Nothing like a bit o' barbecued Bubba. Great story, Jeff.

Fran Piper said...

Great dialog with two very distinct characters. And a nice ending!

Anonymous said...

Great voice, great story - very well done!
Atyllah

Anonymous said...

Lovely way of joining voice and the cables together. Very concise too, given the constraints.

Anonymous said...

This one's may favorite so far as I read straight down the list.

Very good dialogue.

Anonymous said...

Terrific, Jeff! The two characters are distinct and the image of freedom through the poles, powerful. Good stuff!

Scott said...

I liked your dialogue too Jeff, and the concept.

Anonymous said...

This felt so real I can almost smell the burning.

Nice!

Jeff said...

Thanks everyone!

jason evans said...

Great idea! I liked the structure of the ending. Only two sentences, but they hit home.

High marks for pacing and entertainment.