Thursday, January 04, 2007

Entry #4

Veni, Vedi
By Jim Stitzel

“What do you think’s in there, Rob?”

“No idea, Finn. Juice, most likely.”


“Sure, you know, electricity. Stuff’ll juice you, sure as I’m standing here, if you touch it. Knock you flat, leave your hair all sparkly and curled and smelling like something that crawled out of a wall socket.”




“No, what?”

“It’s silly.”

“What? You can tell me. I won’t laugh.”

“Well… it’s just that…”


“I wondered if maybe… it was possible there might be something else coming through those lines.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Magic, maybe.”


“Sure, why not? Electricity runs back and forth in wires all the time. Why not magic?”

“Because there’s no such thing as magic.”

“See? I knew you’d think it was silly.”

“Now, don’t get all upset. That’s not what I meant. It’s just… you really think there could be magic up there?”

“Sure! If someone were to touch them, who knows what would happen.”

“I don’t know, Finn. That seems a little far- Hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to climb up there and touch one, see what happens.”

“Be careful! Those things might be dangerous!”

“Don’t worr- Whoa.”

“What? What’s happening?”

“I… it’s not magic, exactly. It’s something else. I can feel everything, I can see… everything. Rob, you should try th-”

“Finn? Where’d you go? Finn? FINN! There… there’s nothing here. Oh, Finn. You took it all with you. Where did you go?”


S. W. Vaughn said...

Cool! This reminds me of a short story I read once about people's ghosts being stuck on telephone wires, and that was the only way they could stay on Earth because if they let go they would fall up and away forever.

I'm rambling. I liked this. :-)

Anonymous said...

wow, that was really cool Jim! thanks for the read.


Fran Piper said...

Neat story. And all in dialog, too. I like.

Michele said...

I like.
Seems to me it also can be a great intro to time/space travel adventures.
If you believe ...

Jaye Wells said...

Very cool. I like your use of dialogue to tell the whole story.

Joni said...

A fun read that sets the imaginations going. Nice.

Dafath said...

good dialogue

Jeff said...

Good story!

Anonymous said...

A good use of dialogue that sets the idea going.

Anonymous said...

Great use of dialogue through which to tell a very cool story!

Jim said...

Thanks for the comments, everyone. I was looking to do something a little different than my typical narrative style of writing this time around.

Anonymous said...

Nice idea! I love the challenge of delivering a story with only dialog. Bravo! High marks for pacing and technical use of language.