Friday, February 09, 2007

The Passions of Bryn: Winter Wind

He nudged his napkin along the dark wood.

A bulge of water on the bar feathered in and drained. The bartender got a little wild with the ice cubes.

He slipped ten dollars under his glass. Nice tip.

"Hey, thanks man," the bartender said.

He nodded and picked up his coat from the stool. Outside the door, the bitter cold peeled him. Wind chills way below zero. He buttoned down to the knees, but the blistering gusts ripped through.

He curled tighter and pressed into the night.

Block after city block, little worlds of light marched under lamp posts. He passed flights of stairs, brownstones glowing from their transom windows. Too bad chunks of color flaked off the masonry. Fakes, all of them. Nothing but stucco and paint.

He turned onto a street where bare trees jostled in the wind. Up the stairs, he raised a hand to knock, but the door opened before his knuckles fell.

She was there. The winter at his back pushed him into her eyes, clear like glass. He stood as the hall clock ticked beyond the hours.

She took him.

Hands under his coat. Rooms blurring. Cool skin sliding over his.

Then, the motion.

Whirling. Slipping. Reaching out to claw every inch of him down.

She was waiting at the bottom when he came.

She bit him, and he gushed into her. His blood. His semen.

The vampire yearned, and he delivered. Every last shiver. Every whispered wish. Every memory when the air smoothed over still waters. He delivered.

And for a moment after he died, she even loved him.

Go to The Passions of Bryn: Requiem 1.


Saaleha said...

poignant. And beautiful. I had no idea where it was going. But a wonderful jouney all the same. Thanks Jason.

Sam said...

Chilling, beautiful.

Susan Abraham said...

Even without the gory twist at the end, Jason, this scene still held sharp vivid images.

anne said...

Couple questions... Is it just me or does the beginning sound like he is the "dangerous" one?
And I thought once bitten by a vampire, you lived on forever?
Did I even understand that piece properly...? ;)

Scott said...

I have to say, that of all the ways on this planet there are to die, this has to be the one I would choose.

Terri said...

hear hear, Scott ;)
A powerful little piece this, Jason.
I confess I find something terribly erotic about vampiring...

Jim said...

Beautiful last line, Jason.

Anne, vampires don't necessarily turn everyone they bite. Some people they just kill outright (depending on which mythology you prefer). Besides, in order to become a vampire, you technically have to die first so you can become one of the un-dead. ;-)

anne said...

I stand corrected. Thanks, Jim!

jason evans said...

Saahela, thank you! The primary goal I had in writing this was portraying the mood of the walk. By your reaction, it seems like I succeeded.

Sam, much appreciated!

Susan, I liked how the sensitivity was preserved by avoiding the gory. Thanks for the feedback. :)

Anne, you understood just fine. :) I didn't intend for the man to seem threatening, but I understand if it came across that way. As for the becoming a vampire notion, I'm hanging my hat on the mythology that a vampire must choose whether to turn a victim. Mathmatically, that does make sense, since I think someone once calculated that the Earth would be 100% vampire in a couple weeks if everyone was turned when bitten.

Scott, I'm with you, brother. Too bad it can only happen once. ;)

Terri, I'll make a little confession of my own. The first erotic feelings I ever experienced (I'd say I was about 6) was evoked by thoughts of a vampire. I had no idea sex existed at that point.

Jim, thanks, my friend. Yes, I'm keying in to the mythology where a vampire must choose to turn a victim.

Anne, no worries. This is a strange piece that just didn't want to get written. I really don't have a sense any more if it works or doesn't. :)

Scott said...

Talk about coming and going. Sorry, inspiration struck.

Jaye said...

You know I have a soft spot for vamps, Jason. As always, your descriptions sucked me into the scene, pardon the pun.

Jude said...

Very Gothic. Chilling end.

Beloved Dreamer said...

Chilling and beautiful my friend. Along with the wonderful music from a walk in the graveyard. What memories set in stone we leave for those to come. It took my breath away.Your images blinded my soul. Well down.


jason evans said...

Scott, very true! :D

Jaye, I was hoping you'd approve. I defer to your expertise on the subject.

Jude, thanks! I have a major soft spot for Gothic.

Beloved Dreamer, thank you for the wonderful feedback! I really enjoyed putting the Laurel Hill Cemetery movie together and sharing it with everyone. And thanks for seeing the odd beauty in my little tale.

Miao said...

You should publish a book or something. Do let your talent go to waste.

klgilbert said...

More than titillating, my friend. From the very first word to the last, I enjoyed the dark feel of this. Perfect story for these dark, windy, sub-zero windchill nights. ~KLG~

jason evans said...

Miao, thanks for saying so. :) I'm doing revisions on a novel and hope to be submitting soon. However, being able to branch out and share all sorts of things here has been more than amazing.

Kaye, I missed you!! Thanks for the kind words. So glad that feel came across. Monday night I walked through the pictured part of Philadelphia alone. My mental notes were the basis of this piece.

mermaid said...

The physical sensations of cold, biting, clawing are so verbally painful.

Fiction has an eerie way of mirroring reality.

Sometimes only through pain can we ever hope to feel alive.

L.M.Noonan said...

I came to your page on the reccomendation Shameless Words
I am blown away by your writing style. Shameless sure knows how to pick them. A lot of nit picking and vampire experts going on in the comments.
I just plain loved it.

jason evans said...

L.M., thanks so much for the visit! Hope to see you back. Always feel free to comment--positive, critique, or questions, it's all an amazing benefit to me. :)

angel said...

oh my word- somebody pinch me for not having read this yet!
its gawjiss!
its erotic, chilling, sad... i'm off to read the rest!