Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Entry #28

Life Till Now
by Sam Douglas


Damn, he thought, somebody’s gonna have to deal with all that crap. He stared at the dirty dishes in the sink and the mess on the counter. How in hell can anyone generate this much crap in one day? He was sure Myra had cleaned up last night after dinner. She always cleaned up after dinner, usually bitching constantly.

The whole scene was very confusing, not at all like life till now. Life till now was Myra taking care of all the things that had to be done like fixing the meals and cleaning the house. But life till now was also Myra complaining nonstop as she fixed the meals and cleaned the house.

Still, life till now had been orderly. Priorities ebbed and flowed. Dinner was a priority until you ate. Then cleaning up became the priority. A constant priority with Myra was complaining. It was bearable when you were hungry and she was cooking. Once you had your stomach full, it was harder listening to the griping while she cleaned.

But, he reminded himself, that was all part of life till now. Life from now won’t have Myra. He guessed that meant that he must wash the dishes in the sink. He must tidy up the counter. He must fix the meals and clean the house. When Myra was doing all this it didn’t seem like that big a deal; now it seemed overwhelming.

But first, he thought, first - I really must dispose of the body.

12 comments:

Jaye Wells said...

The last line was jarring. I thought you were going in a completely different direction here.

Scott said...

You totally got me!

Sam said...

Love the ending twist - puts it all into perspective. Good job!

briliantdonkey said...

Nice work. Great job throwing me off the trail of thinking 'he killed her' with just the right amount of 'he is going to miss her'. Hard to do with such a small word count limitation but I think you pulled it off. It kind of reminds me of a song by guns and roses. I am not sure what the actual title was but the main words were, "I used to love her but I had to kill her."

BD

Beth said...

This is the part I particularly liked:

A constant priority with Myra was complaining. It was bearable when you were hungry and she was cooking. Once you had your stomach full, it was harder listening to the griping while she cleaned.

Makes me want to be a better wife ... or else.

Nothingman said...

*Sniff*
lovely end ;) did he chop her into little little pieces and send her down the sink? ;)

he he he

N

desiderata said...

Orson Wells could turn this into a macab tale for TV?

Terri said...

What a delicious twist at the end!

September said...

gotta love that ending.

The Wandering Author said...

I agree, that twist really got me. I thought perhaps he'd yelled back at her and she'd left him, but never imagined that he'd killed her until the last line.

Susan Flemming said...

The use of the phrase... Life until now... creates a nice lyrical quality to this story. Nice twist at the end too.

jason evans said...

I like the tidbit just slipped in at the end. I wonder if he will complain about it when he's doing it.

High marks for pacing, technical use of language, and storytelling.