Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Entry #44

Kak Left With the Postman
by YL Chong

"Boys and girl, we are back!" both Caron and her husband announced as they tiptoed into the living room, expecting to be greeted by two lads and their four-year-old sister they had missed for seven days. Perhaps, it's good to see the maid, Kak, too, as absence makes the heart fonder.

There was a distinctive "stink" of stale food in the air. Dad eyed the remnants of some fried chicken and hamburger left on a plate near the television.

The couple peeped into the master bedroom, the boys', then Abigail's rooms, and finally, Kak's.

Not a soul, and Caron's voice now hinted some alarm. "I'm afraid, Gary, there's no one around!"

"What a mess!" Caron let out a shout as she entered the kitchen -- eyeing in dismay unwashed dishes, stale food on the plates that emitted such stench that Gary had to hold a handkerchief to his nose.

"I'm gonna fire that blardy maid!" his voice was raised, but the only sound answering back was some running water from a tap at the sink.

Just then the front door burst open. In rushed three kids as they ran to embrace their parents.

"Now where have you been?" demanded Mum.

"We went to KFC for our dinner plate," explained the eldest child.

"And where's Kak?" Dad's voice was still stern.

"Kak left the morning after you people left for your vacation," chirped in the second boy.

"She left the second morning, riding pillion with the postman," said Abigail.


Nothingman said...

Very cute read Yl, but yeah teh hint of irony is evident, may be the postman was paying kak more than the head of the house ;)


Terri said...

I agree - very cute :)

desiderata said...


Thanks for thy kind support -- I enjoyed your story too. Well done.

desiderata said...


yours is cuter .. dense hubby ike me took a "long" time to realise the pregnancy -- to the very "lust" line!:)

hope to read you aMore at thy website(and ENJOY gay paree!)Welcome to mine in Malaysia too! I'm promoting NegaraKU as 2007 is Visit Malaysia Year. I hoipe to claim something from my country's Tourism Board.

September said...

Oh, those poor little kids - left all alone.

I was getting mad at that sitter.
Then you hit us with that ending.

Wonderful! All frustrations melts away in one sentence and you "awwww" over the kids' home alone situation.

September said...

I didn't catch the title till after I read it - and I'm glad or it may have given it away. But again, very cute.

The Wandering Author said...

I liked the story, although I think I would have found it more effective if the title hadn't given the ending away.

desiderata said...

september and the wandering author:

I agree with both of you -- it was a case of More haste, Less speed, as is bab habit of Journalists. I wished The Wandere also had not registered the title till reading the last line -- othervice, the impact is indeed lessened. Maybe I will re-title it "The postman rings one last time" or "The Postman Did It" when I offer it to the Hollywood director who gave us -- Home Alone. September, I never realise that movie's precedence -- so long ago! -- till you recalled it. Thanks awe:)

Esther -- your entry was arresting too.
And wanderer -- keep us wondering!:)

Susan Flemming said...

I too missed reading the title and so while reading I was thinking that maybe the maid had made off with/kidnapped the children. Then we get to the end and realize that she's "made off" with the postman.

Just two small suggestions. Your first sentence would have a more natural dialogue if the couple calls out... "Kids, we're back."

And then again, this sentence: "Kak left the morning after you people left for your vacation." This would sound more natural if the child said, "Kak left the morning after you and Mum left for vacation."

desiderata said...

susan: Thanks for thy discerning comments.
I TOTALLY agree with BOTH! __ I think a male writer does NOT visualise the conversations so naturally -- I'll pause next time I use dialogue. I was still trapped like writing in the first person -- too egoistic eh?

Raise a goblet of tehtarik ("pulled tea" unique in my country:) another plug for VMY2007! as Commercial break!:)
If any Conversationists here do call by Malaysia-- just north of little dot called SINgapore! -- I'll buy more than tea...drop a line first

desiderata said...

Ooops: Should read as "third" in place of "first" in "...I was still trapped like writing in the first person?..."

PS: I was a mite "down" the moUrning after after the political party I support in NegaraKu LOST in a BUY-election.:(

jason evans said...

I liked the end. I guess *this* postman won't be ringing twice.