Friday, April 20, 2007

Entry #6

Weep Willow, Weep
by Wavemancali

From the time I’ve been able to stand on a chair and help my mama with the dishes, I’ve looked out this window to the willow tree in my back yard.

It’s there now swayin’ in the breeze like it has been for the last seventy-three years I remember watching it.

There were days I was sure that God almighty himself had decided to tear that tree from the ground and bring it on up to heaven to plant in his own garden. But that tree musta had some of the devil in him ‘cause he stayed right here.

I look at that tree and I hear the sounds of supper in the kitchen and BBQ’s in the back yard. It’s under that tree that I stole my first kiss from Danny Washington, or he stole it from me.

There are two cats, three hamsters and a turtle buried under the tender shade of its branches. It wept along with us on those days.

If you look close enough you can see where Harold carved the initials of the children the day each one of them was born. It wept with joy for us on those days too.

Now them land developers are tryin’ to take that away from me. They say the mold count is too high around here because of Katrina and they’re gonna tear the whole neighborhood down and my willow tree with it. That ain't right.

Hand me my cane junior, let’s go see that judge.


Jaye Wells said...

Ooh I like this woman. She reminds me of the steel magnolias in my own family. Nicely done.

strugglingwriter said...

Nice feeling of nostalgia. I want to read more, though. This would make a good short story.

Bernita said...

The view beyond.
This is very beautiful.

Joni said...

I love the feel of this. Beautiful imagery.

briliantdonkey said...

Great job Dave, I really like the 'it wept with us/ wept with joy for us' parts the best.

Nice work.


Jude said...

Nice voice. Authentic feel. I liked it.

kgilbert said...

I am a tree lover extraordinaire, so I loved this. And...I have many deceased pets buried beneath a knobby oak. Like the ending punch.

Wavemancali said...

Thank you all for the kind words. The best thing about entering Jason's contests is the supportive environment.

Beth said...

Loved the bit about the tree weeping with us. Anyone who has buried pets will feel this one. The emotion in the simplicity of it.

I truly loved the part about God taking the tree, but it having some devil in it. Made me smile.

Fence said...

Really liked this one. Definitely has hints that I'd like to see more of.

heather said...

i like the ending the best. you just ~know~ that judge is gonna get a cane across the knees if she doesn't get what she wants. lol i respect the inner steel in her. it's a great piece of work dave.

bekbek said...

Oh, lovely! I especially liked the stolen kiss --who can remember who started that kiss, anyway?

The land developer paragraph felt a little out of place to me, though, a little rushed --damn that 250-word limit! I, too, would like to hear just a little more, especially in this last bit.

jason evans said...

Nice twist at the end. The words are actually spoken. I also like the tie of mold and flood damage.

High marks for pacing.