Sunday, July 29, 2007

Entry #32

Three-Fourths of an Ounce
by Victor B. Monchego, Jr.


The bed felt like a fever dream. It was my bed now, not ours, and in a week or two I would burn it. I kicked away the fort of pillows. I had to bury Stephanie. She wouldn't keep in the car trunk forever.

I washed my face. When I blew my nose and it started to bleed. I stuffed in a plug of tissue. I made Nescafe and I wore yesterday's clothes.

The wheelbarrow was strapped on the Caprice's roof. Stephanie was in the trunk. The gas tank was full.

The day was gray and damp. The windshield was filthy and I was out of washing fluid. My nose kept bleeding and I tossed bloody plugs on the floor.

I drove to Townsend and then up the No. 5 logging road. Stephanie liked this area. She hunted morels up here.

I parked. The tourists were gone. I heard crows but could not spot them. At last, my nose stopped bleeding. I unstrapped the wheelbarrow. I took Stephanie out of the trunk. The dead are heavy. They are supposed to be lighter without their souls.

The plan was to take Stephanie deep into the forest, far from the road. We hiked here last summer.

On a bed of needles, I set Stephanie in a light shaft. Stephanie liked mountains but I prefer the beach. It was time. I kissed her cheek.

Damn, I forgot to bring a shovel.

19 comments:

Bernita said...

Another good one.

Jaye Wells said...

Nice one. I only wish you'd hinted a bit at his motivations.

takoda said...

The clarity of insanity. Really liked this one! Well done, author.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

Thank you all very much. I ran out of words before I could reveal that Stephanie was my beloved truffle pig. We were very close. This is not a tale of murder!

SzélsőFa said...

Well, hunting for mushrooms did give me a bit of surprise during reading, but then, I ignored it. Well written.

Rob said...

I liked this. I had a feeling it was a dog or a pig, when you mentioned she used to hunt morels there. I actually liked that it was left open.

Beth said...

I enjoyed this one too. I thought it was murder and like it more knowing it was the natural death of a beloved truffle pig.

Katherine Napier said...

Before I knew Stephanies' true identity, I would have commented that you did an excellent job of establishing motive with the drug use (nose bleeding), showed how brazen the self-centered can be (wheelbarrow on roof of car), and depicted the twisted mind set that he was being considerate to her (Stephanie liked the mountains but I prefer the beach). The weight of the soul as a title? Perfect.

Now that I've read she was a pet...uh...sorry to hear of your loss. By the way, have you seen any studies on whether or not the weight is the same in pigs? Yeah, me either.
Great read, Victor.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

Thanks again for the feedback. I suppose my character has a problem letting the pig on the bed, but she's a medium sized pig and quite clean. I'm impressed with the number of writers Jason rallied.

I must fake my job now.

Victor J. Banis said...

Interesting, but I'd have liked it better if I had known at the end of the story that she was a pig. That would have made a great finish.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

I changed my mind. It is a murder story. Stephanie is (was) my mail order bride, Stefanya Tymoshenko. If this was based on a true story, would it help or hurt my odds of winning Jason's great contest? I'm not saying I'm the perpitrator...if it was based on a true story which it may not be necessarily, of course.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

Almost forgot...motive. Stephanie's English was terrible and she talked a lot. It drove a guy crazy. And she liked Costco, too much. She always wanted to shop at Costco.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

Let the readers have the say: Truffle Pig or Mail Order Bride?

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I'll go with murdered mail order bride! Well written and good pace.

Dottie said...

If she's a bride we sympathize more with you. If she's a pig we sympathize more with her. Keep her a pig, I say. Also, it's good you forgot the shovel. Let her decompose in peace. Great piece, Vic.

sitkagirl said...

Couldn't she be your bride that you've affectionately dubbed, "my little truffle pig?"

JLB said...

Damn, I forgot to bring a shovel.

Hate it when that happens! :)

Victor J. Banis said...

Victor, congratulations on your win (Are all people named Victor just naturally brilliant?)

jason evans said...

Great description and flavor details. The little quirks of character were perfect.

High marks!

Congratulations on the Honorable Mention! Very well deserved.