Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Entry #46

The Call
by Jude Ensaff


My heart beat hard against my chest and the sound of the hounds echoed in the distance. I ran past a tree clipping my shoulder, then dodged another. Sweat trickled down my face and I felt my pulse throb in my neck. But still I ran.

‘Aint no point runnin’ he called. ‘We got you now, Marty.’

I tripped on a felled tree, landed in some thorns. My hands stung and blood dripped as I sprang up and continued my flight. I heard a rifle loading and then a gun shot. And another. Reverberating round. They seemed to be coming from every direction.

A man whooped aloud. ‘Oh yes, Marty we got ya.’

And another called. ‘We surely do.’

I spun round. A twig broke through the skin on my foot. Fresh blood seeped out.

‘I’m innocent,’ I called. ‘Wasn’t me’

‘Hear that, Hank? He’s innocent.’

Now I could hear their feet and the hounds, panting and breathing, running, closing in on me. Faster and faster.

‘I’m innocent I shrieked,’ as I ran ahead through the thick darkness.

‘That’s what they all say,’ he called.

I struggled past a cluster of branches. My legs ached with exhaustion and my breath caught in my throat. I stopped winded.


That was when I saw it. Up ahead between the trees. A light in the darkness, calling me.

I walked towards it and waited in that warmth. I knew they’d come for me but somehow I felt safe. I knew it was time.

11 comments:

c.s. said...

great action and tension condensed expertly!

Jeff said...

Good pacing and use of dialogue. Nice job.

onipar said...

Nice. I like the movement of the chase, and the withheld information (what did he do?) I like that mystery.

-Anthony

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Good pace and strong voice - well done, Jude!

Victor J. Banis said...

Nice sense of peril and panic. Very suggestive

angel said...

wonderful, i could feel his exhaustion!

SzélsőFa said...

exciting, picturesque

JLB said...

You can feel this one closing in on itself!

Jude said...

Thanks everyone for taking the time to read my entry and comment on it. I love the writing community. You're all so supportive!

Verilion said...

Great story Jude. Would love to know what he didn't do!

jason evans said...

The peace of knowing it is your time. The light does have that feel. It will convey him.