Thursday, July 26, 2007

Entry #6

The Browbridge Brothers
by Wayne Scheer


Eli and Vernon Browbridge rolled Fat Man's body from the trunk of their rusty 1987 Grand Prix into the hole in the ground they had just dug.

Eli, older by a year, spoke first. "Sure makes you think. One day you're hot shit and the next day you're smelling like it."

Vernon nodded, but he wasn't paying much attention to his philosophizing brother. Moonlight slipped through the trees spotlighting the very area where they were digging.

"Vern," Eli interrupted. "Fat Man ain't gonna fit in this hole."

Vernon tried bending Fat Man's legs, hoping that the stiffening appendages might snap off. No luck.

They continued shoveling through tangled roots and dry soil. "We need some rain," Vernon said. "I sure like the way these woods smell in the rain."

"Yeah, it's like everything comes clean. Remember how when we was kids we'd run through the wet woods nekkid? Give Mama a fit."

The brothers Browbridge continued digging until Fat Man fit snuggly into his new home.

"You reckon we should say some kinda prayer, Vern?"

Vernon considered his brother's request. "Wouldn't do no good. Only prayer I know is If-I-Die-Before-I Wake. Too late for that."

Vernon topped off the grave with rotting leaves and tree branches. "I reckon that's as fine a grave as Fat Man deserves.

The two brothers stepped back to admire their work, threw their shovels into the back of their car and drove off to collect their pay.

17 comments:

SzélsőFa said...

This short story left me thinking about a bigger one that's behind.

Victor J. Banis said...

I agree with the previous comment, I'd like to see the rest of the story. I think I know those boys.

Victor J. Banis

onipar said...

Dark humor. Love it.

I also agree with the previous two comments.

sandra seamans said...

Nice flash piece and I agree with the others, this could be written into a longer story.

Sharon Poppen said...

Dark scene, laced with a shade of comedy. Could have been a scene in 'Analyze This'. Well done.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

We see the forest and think that this is a nice place to bury something, Fat Man for you, and a truffle pig named Stephanie for me.

Beth said...

One of my favorites. Loved the voice, the dialogue ... every last thing about it. Great imagination.

Jeff said...

Good pacing and dialogue. Nice job.

angel said...

bucking frilliant!!!

Verilion said...

I really like the dark humour in this and the line about the only prayer he knows. I think it works well as short fiction and is self contained.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Good use of dialogue and strong voice. Nice piece of flash fiction!

Chanpheng said...

Nice piece. You've got great description building up the mystery, nice banter covering the gruesomeness of what they're doing.

Dottie said...

I like how interesting the story is without creating any real depth to your characters. Great dialogue and I agree with the earlier comments about the prayer. You get my vote.

JLB said...

Great characters - there are so many places to take this!

Ann Ostrander said...

Every time I enter one of these, I like to tell the writers I voted for I voted for them and sometimes why. So ... I voted for you -- loved the writing, thought this was completely original and captivating. =)

Bernita said...

All in a day's work with appropriate "philosophy."
Well done!

jason evans said...

The prayer element was awesome! Great idea.