Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Entry #71

The Taking
by Marie Mastracci


My sister sits on a decaying log with laced fingers supporting her head; her voice breaks into the still air, “Our Father, who art in heaven…” There is no other sound to compete with the prayer, no chirping birds, no scurrying squirrels, no rushing feet. The smell of running sap and mountain streams reminds me of long afternoon hikes and packed lunches but this is not a time for reminiscing. I look down at my mother lying on a bed of fireweed and kneel at her side; my breath stops in my throat but her struggling lungs expand again and I sigh with relief.

Her blue eyes slowly appear between scored eyelids; she presses her lips together in the familiar smile and a tear appears at the corner of one eye. A whisper is carried on her next breath and I lean closer. “It’s time,” she says.

Her body sinks deeper into the ground and her relaxing face alarms me. “Please, mum,” I say, “hang on a little longer.” I wonder if she sees fear when she looks into my eyes.

The sudden clanging surrounds us. Hands reach around my waist from behind and I grasp for a non-existent tree limb, wildflowers, anything to hold me back from being dragged away from my mother - and out of my dream.

I grope for the phone and hear my sister catch her breath a world away. “Mum’s gone,” she says.

20 comments:

Hoodie said...

A beautiful moment of premonition.
Gorgeous.

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Beautiful - well captured and well written. Very nicely done.

angel said...

very nice indeed...

'mbm' said...

Thankyou all very much.

JLB said...

As a fellow dreamer, and a lover of fireweed, I couldn't help but enjoy this piece. Nicely crafted. :)

Sometimes they call me Kelley, sometimes Twizzle. Sometimes a lot worse. said...

So sad and beautiful.

Ellen "EJ" Sackett, said...

Your best yet, Marie. The ending took my breath in a chilling way. Wonderfully written. Well done. All bst~ ej

'mbm' said...

Thankyou again. Your comments mean a lot coming from my fellow writers.

MJ said...

Wow Marie! This is fantastic! So well written!

Ann Ostrander said...

Beautifully done, Marie!

Anonymous said...

Marie, this was such a good read. Your writing gave me chills, as I remembered when my father died.
You are a talented writer and I look forward to reading more from you.
Ethel

Victor J. Banis said...

a nice twist. Well done

Katherine Napier said...

This is stunningly well done.

onipar said...

Nicely done. I enjoyed this.

-Anthony

SzélsőFa said...

The end took my breath away. Wow. Beautifully written.

Jeff said...

Very nice.

takoda said...

Oh, this is beautiful. Brings back a poignant memory for me. Very well written!

Bernita said...

Well done!

The Quoibler said...

So very haunting ~ this snagged one of my "five faves" votes. Awesome job.

jason evans said...

Tough end. The metaphor of the passing is effective.