Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Entry #66

Lost Hope
by Tanya

There it was. Through her window she saw her life pass her by leaf by leaf.

Although each day brought new promises, another chance,
she found none.

Once dead and gone, renewed life returned to her time after time.

Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

She got up every morning, time healing nothing.

She treaded softly through the silent fields.

Left, right, left, right.

No one around. No one who cared.

“What am I doing? What’s the point?” she asked the sky.

Left, right, left, right.

A drop on her nose, she wept with the clouds.

Her sobs joined the howling winds in hopeless song.

Drip. Drip.

She could not sleep, could not eat, no life left within to nourish.

Sorrow. Pain. Loneliness.

Long ago there was a decision to be made.

The choices were to either live or die.

She decided to live.

She chose to die.

Life would never be the same again.


Aerin said...

"No life within to nourish" - such sadness, such despair. A very touching piece.

Sarah Hina said...

A desperate struggle for attachment, and peace. This one tore me up inside.

I like the rhythm of your writing, and its strong, spare language. Very sad, but very beautiful.

Anonymous said...

I love it, please keep writing. Best wishes!

Thérèse said...

Oh, Tanya. Beautifully heart-breaking. The disjointedness adds an interesting effect.

Lyrical and harsh at the same time, and I love that.

Je t'aime and good luck. :)

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Detached and heartbreaking, there yet not there - a gut wrenching juxtapostion of thoughts and feelings. And lyrically powerful. A beautiful, poignant piece of writing.

Beth said...

Detached, depressed. Feels like true depression.

paisley said...

this really hit home for me as i struggle with the decision to "stay" on a daily basis... i still eat and sleep tho... so i guess all is not for naught... very expertly written.. you capture what i feel very astutely.....

wrath999 said...

Lonliness painted beautifully.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

it has good rhythm; i would like to hear it aloud. interesting that trees make so many of us think of time. why? as compared to a rock or a pond.

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

oh yea. I like the sentagrams.

SzélsőFa said...

This is really poetic and captures melancholy and detachment well.

anna said...

I really like this piece, poetic yet narrative. It is beautifully written and gut-wrenchingly honest.

bluesugarpoet said...

Every line is stripped AND pregnant with meaning. Excellent!

jason evans said...

Something about the sparse treatment conveyed the sense of loneliness well. The conflict at the end was striking.

Aine said...

So depressing-- you've certainly captured the experience of hopelessness! I like how the spacing enhances to the feeling of detachment. The fact that she took action in "choosing" gives me hope, however.