Thursday, February 21, 2008

Entry #7

Breakfast with Sarah
by Dina Lynskey


She will not talk to me. Despite wheedling and begging and crying, she simply will not talk. Her voice, usually as clear and loud as church bells, does not reverberate around these walls any more.

Toast?

I ask, brandishing bread and jam like a showstopper. She dismisses me with a wave of too-thin wrists, bares her teeth as a demonstration of her absorption elsewhere. I wander away and make toast for myself instead, wafting butter and strawberry jam smells through this clutter-packed house to smooth away the stale tobacco she pulls at when she strikes mute again. I have seen her glow away from here, not brash lights but fine, fine lamp-glints strung between branches at Christmas. I fuse her. I shatter glass like cheap crackers.

Toast

She whispers, standing in the doorway. Slouch-limbed and messy, she holds her hand outwards in a gesture of exasperation and her voice is small and hoarse from the quiet. There is rain outside. It rails against the window unexpectedly, and we both turn to look. I remember the feel of her skin against my hand, the coolness of her thumbs needling into my back; the look on her face when I pushed her against that tree and kissed her. It was an expression I haven’t seen since, not on anyone’s face. Red-faced and giggling, picking bark out of chocolate hair.

Toast

She says again, stronger and with meaning. As she barges past, I smell the air around her; soil and smoke. Winter.

20 comments:

JLB said...

I really enjoy the poetry of this piece!

Josh said...

Great word images. Very colorful and striking.

paisley said...

definitely a feast for the eyes imagination!!!!!

DBA Lehane said...

Nice imagery throughout, but I'm just struggling a little to relate it to the photo? Though maybe that's just me?

Beth said...

Lehane, she says she pushed her "against that tree" and kissed her. I also used the tree as an honorable mention and not the focus. Just the backdrop.

This is the line I really liked with this one -- I shatter glass like cheap crackers.

I could feel it. That and the bark in the hair. (another tree reference)

Missy said...

She seems very deliberate in her languishing with the barging past in the end. I am curious to know more about how he broke her.

ChristineEldin said...

I am also curious.
This felt disturbing and intense. Nicely written.

Sarah Hina said...

This piece is pretty remarkable, Dina. I really liked the structure of it, and your imagery is fantastic.

Sarah's fragility and wariness really comes through. I, too, am curious about the couple's downward spiral. Is it age? Depression? Something more sinister? That said, I don't mind a little mystery, too.

Beautiful work. :)

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

This has a beautiful lyrical quality about it - the imagery is wonderful and the deep sense of loss intertwined with the present is strong. Great piece of writing.

SzélsőFa said...

It felt creepy and quite poetic, in a good way, Dina.

pjd said...

No doubt the imagery is strong. I come away with a sense of loss, a helplessness. What's happened to her?

bluesugarpoet said...

Soil and smoke - that, indeed is the smell of Winter. I like how you've juxtaposed the remembrance of passion with the harsh reality of what is.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

This broke my heart. Never has the word "toast" seemed so significant.

Hoodie said...

artfully done. the imagery is fantastic.

Aerin said...

I echo the creepy, but I love the kissing her up against the tree! *sigh* Ah, me, young love...and the memories it leaves us...

bekbek said...

VERY nicely done! :)

Gnewvegan said...

A very well written piece of how it was, is, and the things that remind us of the "way it was".

sparklydina said...

thank you all very much for your comments....:)

jason evans said...

Exellent characterization and pace. Wonderfully curious stream of consciousness. I'm hooked. I want more! Very high marks.

Congratulations on the honorable mention!

Aine said...

I like the moment when the rain rails against the window-- they share a reaction. That gives me hope. But it also makes me wonder why-- what has led to this moment? I also want to know more about them.