Monday, July 14, 2008

Entry #40

Being an Environmentalist Requires Some Sacrifice
by Mark Durfee


mmmdeeummmmmmmdoin’ my job just doin’ my job

ummmdeeummmpollinating pollinating doing what I do.

ummmdeeummdeeummmmm just doing my PLUNK!!!

Damn bugs. Glad I put a windshield on this thing. I might’ve been pickin’ that one out of my teeth.

22 comments:

Scott said...

My brain is still trying to piece this one together!

JR's Thumbprints said...

So much for "A Bug's Life" ... are there bugs that pollinate at night, or perhaps it's late in the evening and everyone's in a hurry to get home.

J.C. Montgomery said...

Oh I can see 'em now, attracted by teh headlamp. I remember one time coming down Hwy 80 into Reno at dusk. Lines of motorists had to pull off at the first gas station to clean their windshields and grills. We all looked at each dumbstruck and the enormity of the carnage. Made the evening news.

This reminds me of that warm summer night all those years ago. This one made me smile - thanks.

September said...

poor little buggy

the walking man said...

Scott...don't look for anything other than the words and proposed noise on the page. I like minimalist writings to convey what I pictures are in my head.

JR...I took the windshield portion of the picture as a focal point rather than the time of day, although bugs do get wiped out during the night time too.

JC...I hear you. Here in SE MI there is a suburb of Detroit named St Clair Shores which bounds Lake St Clair, every year they have a months worth of fish flys invade. GAH!!! The sound they make as a vehicle rolls over 'em. Let's just say it gives snap crackle pop new meaning.

September...I tried to write the story so the bug could survive but it had no health insurance.

Thanks for reading and commenting. While the idea of the flash was fairly easy to imagine the manipulation of the alphabet to produce the sounds I wanted was the challenge. Insect wings and the noise of the bug meeting the plastic windscreen are two very distinct noises. Bzzbzzbzz and splat just didn't work for me although they would have conveyed the thought well enough.

Lena said...

that was refreshing... short but cool! loved the sounds you have chosen in the end!

Wannabe Writer said...

I was laughing the whole way through. I don't even think you needed the last paragragh. I was with the bug right to the splat. -Rita

Mystico said...

Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow
These were my thoughts when I read the last paragraph. I really feel sorry for the bug.
PLUNK!

wrath999 said...

Cool and unique take from the bug's side of things

Sarah Hina said...

So funny and clever. This one was just the right length. :)

We're such savages...

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

That made me smile broadly :)

Nice minimalistic work!

JaneyV said...

Sooo funny - great job!

SzélsőFa said...

I smiled, too, all the way, and I loved the way you worded the sound an insect makes, or might make. Minimalistic for sure, but it was just enough to make a nice story.

the walking man said...

Lena...thanks for the nod to the writing.

W Writer...I may have been able to get away without the "Damn bugs..." but there was necessity to wink at the motorcycle...the one part of the picture that I saw was the windshield, so I focused on that.

Mystico...A seven wow reader...weee hoooo!!!!

Wrath999...Thanks, glad you liked it.

Sarah...Thank you most people apply the word funny to my looks not my writing. Savage...naw fate yes. The collision of two lives at a random point in time. Rather the bug than the biker.

Sameera...Honestly humor has always been a bit of a stretch for me. Thank You.

Janey5...Thanks.

SzeloFa...Really pleases me that it was an enjoyable read for you.

Everyone...thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. That time you spent reading this is the only payment I ever look for when writing something. I don't normally submit work for contests or publication anymore. I have my reasons, too lazy, I guess, is at the top.

Beyond all other appellations I consider myself a poet first. In Poetry unless you're Allen Ginsburg, or a Norse saga writer, brevity is the sharpened point of the stick. While it is not always easy to be brief, in this particular work once a direction was decided it became a necessity.

As for the sounds...the..ummmdeeummm and splunk! That was actually the most challenging part in the writing. I could have used Buzz and splat but that's not how a bugs wings sound to me, and it's not how a bug on the windshield sounds to me. I played for over an hour with different alphabet combinations to arrive at what I thought best. This is the writers work beyond the thought of a piece, that is to say the crafting or shaping it.

One more word on minimalism. I first really understood it in some of the work presented by Richard Brautigan, the in my mind premier bridge poet between the beat generation and the revolution poetry that came after it.

Anyone interested in seeing more of me can click through to my blog by left clicking my name here. All opinions are welcome.

Thank You again.

The Grocer said...

Short, sharp & witty, well done.

Dottie said...

I really enjoy when the writer talks about the process of creating his or her work. So, thank you for including that in the comments. It creates a great context to a compelling stand-alone piece.

angel said...

mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaa...

Posolxstvo I said...

Sometimes less is more.
And more is less.

Excellent economy.

laughingwolf said...

good one, mark :)

Missy said...

hehe! the motorcycle itself looks kinda like a bug. your story was the perfect flash for that thought. thanks.

the walking man said...

Now that it is over and the winners know who they are as a final thought on this piece I would first like to thank all who read it and all who left feedback on it.

I am normally unconcerned with the words I write. I usually have the habit of putting them down, archiving them and moving on. This work is no different.

I hope to visit each of you on your home turf and see what it is that you do. Something I will try to do as the days go by.

Again thank you all for your comments and criticisms toward this simple piece.

jason evans said...

I've caught a few bumblebees in the face. Now I'll wonder more about the smears on the windshield. Especially the juicy red ones.