Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Entry #54

Cold Coffee
by Canterbury Soul


He knew it. It was no longer an embrace. She was merely placing her arms round his waist. As his Harley took them down the road to her home, he knew he was just running after the wind. This route he had travelled the last three years had become strangely unfamiliar.

She opened the door, uttered, “Coffee?” and disappeared into the kitchen. He looked around and noticed nothing abnormal. Yet, he sensed estrangement in this house they had made love countless times. He sat on the couch, realising he had to make a decision soon.

She handed him the coffee and sat opposite him, never looking into his eyes.

“This coffee is cold.”

“I thought you like it this way.”

“I like it this way only with ice.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll change it.”

“Never mind.”

She crossed her legs and sipped her coffee. He picked up his and drank it. He had no choice now. He withdrew his gun from his bag quietly and questioned, “Seeing someone now?” She said nothing.

“Planning to ditch me?”

“I’m in love with someone else.”

“How could you?” He pointed his gun at her.

BANG! He collapsed, clutching his bullet-hit leg. He felt woozy and was losing his vision. He had been drugged.

“Because she never likes cold coffee,” a young lady spoke as she walked to him with a pistol. He was aghast to see his own daughter before she put another round in his head. The lovers began working on their cover-up.

15 comments:

J.C. Montgomery said...

Helluva twist - and in more ways than one. Bravo!

Scott said...

You got us with two turns of events. I love surprise endings!

September said...

I'm sorry. I'm lost here. Its me though....please tell me what happened. I've read this several times and still don't understand the ending. The daughter shoots him and then you mention lovers. Is the daughter and the woman who handed him the coffee lovers?

I liked the story, I just don't get the ending.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Revenge, no matter what the circumstances, makes for a good story.

JaneyV said...

Wooah! What an ending - great punch there. Very effective twist!

Sarah Hina said...

Very diabolical twist.

I liked how he could tell something was wrong by the way she held him on the bike. And the trivial matter of coffee spoke volumes about this couple.

Good work!

Dottie said...

Great ending! Great piece!

Vesper said...

What a twist! Well done, CS.

c.s. said...

thank you, my Friends, for your great encouragement! will keep writing to improve.

Esther, you are right, the two ladies have become lovers. :)

Cheers, Folks!

angel said...

fffuuuuuuuuuu...
i LOVE this!!!

Missy said...

Ahh, poor guy. Interesting twist!

laughingwolf said...

mother/daughter lovers? i suppose....

pernille said...

What a twist! Like the story though I am kind of confused. Guess it must be his daughter and a new wife?

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

That was so full of twists!

I thought I got it wrong,but your reply to Esther closed the deal :)

Well written!

jason evans said...

That was certainly an unexpected twist. I like that he got taken out after pulling the gun. Great twist. Good pacing.