Friday, August 29, 2008

Erosion



I lifted the phone
But flinched at the tone
Totaling my debts with painted currency.
Warmed to the cold,
I wandered to search
For the last of my scattered bones

Sometimes I just want to sit
When the wind is strong
And think about the sky.
I think of primordial mornings
After a volcanic age
When rock pushed into mountains
And woke to hate the rain

18 comments:

paisley said...

splendidly put together ...

Vesper said...

I think of primordial mornings
After a volcanic age
When rock pushed into mountains
And woke to hate the rain


Superb!

(I like the green on the arrid rocks... What a sign of the power of life...)

Sameera Ansari said...

"Totaling my debts with painted currency" - Loved the verbal construction!

SzélsőFa said...

This one evokes sympathy for rocks. Great.

I know I've been absent for a while and this one is a very refreshing treat for me now.

Sarah Hina said...

Looking back to fresher, more innocent times is so tempting. But distance can be distorting, and those rocks can become walls that were never intended.

Very powerful poem, Jason. It certainly gave me pause.

Friends of Swifty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aine said...

Wow-- I'm in awe of your skill with words. My heart breaks with understanding.

Perhaps, when a larger perspective is possible, the forces of upheaval and change will prove to have been necessary in creating beauty. Just as the rain changes the rocky mountain into a jungle paradise.

Miladysa said...

Ditto Vesper.

Those four lines in particular are explosive!

Geraldine said...

This is excellent Jason. I read it twice and am pondering your words.

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Charles Gramlich said...

I like this. Especially the second stanza. To me, the stanzas almost read like separate poems.

Anonymous said...

I had to read it twice to get what you were saying, but very nice.

I can certainly identify with "Sometimes I just want to sit" :)

Paul

Anonymous said...

Paisley, thank you. :)

Vesper, I really liked that stanza too. Sometimes, meaning and meter and impact come together. That time, it did for me.

Sameera, much appreciated!

Szelsofa, yes, even rock can feel itself worn away and mourn it.

Sarah, very true. It's an even quieter sadness to not look back wistfully, but stand in the moment and fear the inevitable seasons of rain.

Aine, that is the hope, yes. That the creation of a beautiful mountain far, far exceeds the grief over its slow destruction.

Miladysa, thank you for the sentiment!

Geraldine, a pensiveness to this one.

Charles, one is the reality of the moment. The other is the thoughtful reflection.

Strugglingwriter, I'm there. Maybe we can bring a few beers to enjoy while we sit and think.

Chris Eldin said...

I love the second stanza. It feels somehow defiant, but that's not the exact word I want. The words are so beautifully put together.

Anonymous said...

I liked this. I was thinking of a place that I want to go for my next holiday and it is very scenic and primordial ... so maybe it is meant to be when I pop over and read those very words on your blog. (Fiordland, New Zealand)

Anonymous said...

Chris, that's true. There is a kind of defiance there. Thanks!

Aggie, places like that are captivating. I hope you can go!

JaneyV said...

Beautiful Jason. The second stanza particularly spoke to me - the last four lines, perfection.

Anonymous said...

My sentiments exactly - sometimes all I want to do is sit and ponder the beauty of the sky. Very well said!

Anonymous said...

Thank you Janey and Selma!