"Hey there," he said.
"Hey," she said.
"You ready to go?"
"Got my walking shoes on."
"Perfect."
"I almost couldn't get away," she said.
"What happened?"
"The same crap. My mom. You know."
"Yeah. I know."
"Sometimes I wish she would start smoking again. I swear."
"Really?"
"No. Not really."
"God, you smell amazing," he said.
"Well, I just took a shower."
"Oh, don't tell me that."
"Why not?" she said.
"Wipe that evil grin off your face. I can barely walk as it is."
"I noticed," she said. "You're getting flushed too."
"I'm not surprised."
"And your ears are red. So cute."
"Go ahead. Laugh at me," he said.
"Breathe, man. Breathe."
"You love torturing me, don't you?"
"Hey!"
"What?"
"Don't do that here!" she said.
"Fair is fair."
"Seriously! Not here! Someone will see."
"The sun is on your neck. I can't help myself."
"No, no, no. Back up."
"Don't you want me to kiss your neck?"
"No!"
"Because after I start there, I'm going to go down. Down to the tops of your--"
"Okay, okay. Enough. Now I can't walk very well."
"Mission accomplished," he said.
"Shit."
"What?"
"We're close to the forest already, I can smell the ferns."
"Hear the crickets? They're early."
"I'll have you know that I can't even smell ferns any more without getting wet."
"Seriously?" he said.
"Seriously."
"Now you're turning red, my dear. Come on, breathe."
"I can't."
"In.... Out.... In.... Out...."
"You're not helping!"
"Let's hurry, then."
"Walk! Just walk," she said.
"Here, let me--"
"No!"
"But we're under the trees now," he said.
"Farther."
"Lots of ferns here."
"Oh Jesus."
"Lots and lots...."
"That feels good."
"Yes?"
"Mmmm hmmm."
"I love when you shower for me."
"I love it when you--"
"Lie back."
"Right here?"
"In the nice ferns."
"I'll just--"
"That's right."
"God...."
"I love the skin on your legs."
"Mmmmm."
"Way up here. I love how smooth you are. And especially...."
Off to the side, her fist curled around a tangle of ferns.
A small stand of Indian Pipe snapped from the ground as she pulled.
And she roared over the canopy into the late afternoon sun.
16 comments:
That was, well... quite hot. Whew! I liked how it was all conversation almost until the end. And I loved the Indian Pipe reference! Does it grow where you live? Although a member of the heather family, it has the same kind of association with mycorrhizal fungi that Gastrodia has, the orchid I blogged about a while back. Coolness.
I think I better have a cigarrette.
I like how the staccato of her broken sentences reveal more then she says...
Jason,
Damn I wish I didn't have to go to work today. I know a romantic, tree studded island where I'd slide my kayak to in the morning's mist, and maybe carress some damp moss.
rel
In the nice ferns.
;)
Glad we're going to the cabin this weekend....
I bet she's glad she showered. ;)
I love the playfulness, and the heat. He really turned things around on her, and gave her exactly what she wanted.
Great dialogue, Jason. Once again, it seems ripped from real life...
Nice wake-me-up post today Jason!!! Very nice. :<)
www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com
Nicely done. Too bad you didn't use this in your Halo short fiction contest. It would fit perfectly with the picture.
I love the playful tension here. As usual, you made me smile.
EOH, thanks for pointing out that connection! Yes, it grows in Pennsylvania, and the picture was taken in the northeastern corner of the state. As for the vignette, it was an experiment. Can I do a steamy scene with dialog only? (The Indian Pipe reference was the only reason for the description at the end.)
Charles, can I get a light? ;)
Szelsofa, I tried to include as much outside of the lines as there was in them. :)
Rel, that sounds like a day of days.
Aine, I'm sure we can find a nice spot. ;)
Sarah, I had great time with the playfulness, and the challenge of showing the action without a word of description. My, the August heat must be getting to me.
Geraldine, better than coffee perhaps. :)
Anti-Wife, that 250 word count limit is tough. Not sure how long this one is. I might have had to dispense with the foreplay.
Jaye, glad you enjoyed this change of pace!
"Snapped" is a great word choice for describing the action of the Indian Pipe. Also, your selection of plant species is to be applauded. Seems to fit the ending.
JR's Thumbprints, thanks! The story jumped from the picture. Also, I haven't mentioned that the photo was done with the stacking technique I blogged about a while back. Three different photos with progressive focus were combined into one image with a huge depth of field.
Well done! And with no description except the dialogue. Wonderful prose.
Ohhh so romantic!
Yes! You *can* do a steamy scene with only dialogue. I really like this one.
Barbara, it was tricky with this kind of story.
Angela, glad you liked it!!
Chris, thanks, my friend. It's nice when the experiments work.
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