Thursday, January 08, 2009

Entry #30

So What if She Has No Feet?
by Linda Courtland


I met her at the mall, where I sell women’s shoes. She was so graceful. Her jeans seemed to just float across the floor. She let me take her to the beach, and we walked along the water’s edge.

“Why don’t you roll up your pants?’ I said. “So they don’t get wet.”

She sat down in the sand, and slowly lifted up the designer denim, an inch, then two.

She had cloven hooves instead of feet, like a precious woodland deer.

Her wary eyes waited.

I pulled her legs across my lap and gently wiped away the sand.

“You don’t think I’m a freak?” she said.

I held her right hoof, touching my lips to the pointed tip.

“Not everyone is so understanding,” she sighed.

I ran my tongue along each ridge and groove, and she shivered with pleasure.

We spent the whole summer together. Although I regularly held female feet at work, sliding them into high-heeled sandals, I was never tempted to stray. Nothing’s hotter on a woman than a pair of dark and shiny hooves.

But she broke it off one day in the food court. I stared at a corndog while the hoofed girl ripped my soul out with her words.

“I need to be alone,” she said. “Someplace new, where no one knows me.”

And now, I’m standing at the bottom of the escalator, helpless and mute, watching as my love ascends slowly out of reach, her secrets safely hidden under sexy straight-leg jeans.

24 comments:

laughingwolf said...

well done, linda :)

Lena said...

sad one, but really well written :)

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Nice imagination!Poor him though.

harshad said...

interesting read...sad but cool ending.

peggy said...

now, this was a fun take on the prompt, nicely done!

Aerin said...

Really, really love this. Well-written, with description but not overly so, dialogue (I'm a sucker for dialogue), and fantastic premise!

wrath999 said...

Unique. Very well done

Ruinwen said...

So different and fun...I really enjoyed it. A delightful read. :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

I loved this. No one will ever believe him, and he's going to have an odd fetish in the future!

one more believer said...

it's really all about the fantasy of the hi-heeled hooves...

Sarah Hina said...

Wow, nice, Linda.

Quirky concept, strong writing and dialogue, and funny in a melancholy way. I like how she was the one to break it off with him. Like being the outcast was more satisfying to her ego in some way.

Very cool story!! And one of a kind. :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'm very impressed with the pacing of your story; By not rushing it you've made it very believable.

Also, for whatever reason, I'm reminded of Chinese women with "bound feet." Everyone has their own idea of beauty, don't they?

JaneyV said...

I love that the guy who spends his day dealing with feet is so turned on by hooves. This was such fun - a really nice balance of light and dark, description and dialogue, acceptance and rejection.

Lovely work.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Artistically wrought! Captivating.

BernardL said...

Delightful tale.

Patsy said...

A very different take on the prompt!

Well done.

Lauri said...

Intersting.Love wild takes on prompts.

Esp. Liked -"I stared at a corndog while the hoofed girl ripped my soul out with her words."

Scott Parker said...

Linda, it seems we both saw cloven hooves with the photo. Yours is much more elegant and subtle. I enjoyed reading it. Like the best of the short stories, there is so much more unsaid than said.

Catvibe said...

Nice, sexy, sad, a whole lot of fun story in a very short amount of words. Great job Linda.

bluesugarpoet said...

So many juxtapositions in one little story. Sexy hooved girl dumps shoe salesman boyfriend at the Hot Dog on a Stick shop. Awesome. I loved it! - jana

Terry said...

I must be weirder than I thought because I really LOVED this story. Amazing how you could write about something so offbeat, yet, make it seem so totally believable. Reminds me of Hitchhiker's Guide, for that reason. "Nothing’s hotter on a woman than a pair of dark and shiny hooves." Hilarious!

September said...

Very interesting. I love stories where the person is not really a person. Makes you wonder how many of us are out here like this. :)
Entertaining. Nicely written.

Linda said...

Thank you everyone for all your generous comments! They are VERY appreciated. -- Linda

jason evans said...

Great job on pacing, entertainment value, technical skill, and voice!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!