Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Entry #5

The Gift
by Geraldine


“Better days ahead.”

Her mom had often spoken those words. For two years Carrie had mourned her passing.

Carrie's dad had also tragically died, at the young age of 43. From that day, loneliness and lack of confidence had been her mother's downfall. The biggest downer of all: Cliff, the man she would eventually marry. Carrie had been just 10.

Any semblance of a normal home life died with her mother; when Carrie was 16. John, Carrie's brother was leaving home. He hated Cliff and felt it was "his turn" at 21, to move out. He urged Carrie to do the same. But where would she go; what would she do for money? She had been working for the past year, saving to go back to school.

Cliff's new hobby was hitting the bottle, hard. He returned home late at night, sometimes alone, sometimes not. Carrie lay awake in her locked bedroom. By day often skipping work, he ranted. It was high time she started to pay for her keep.

Nestled in a jewelry case that her mother had given Carrie's on her 16th birthday, an envelope. Carrie had only found it recently; accidentally clicking a tiny latch that opened a secret compartment in the bottom of the large antique box. A letter from her mother asking for understanding and forgiveness. Inside the violet pages: 5, $1000 bills.

Ascending the escalator she looked for Gate A5. An old school friend had offered her a place to stay.

Better days ahead.

25 comments:

Lena said...

i hope she really will have her better days.. like someone once said to me.. bad days are just... bad...
i liked the way you described her current life and the hope in the end :)

Aggie said...

Timely help from a Mum post-death ... nice twist.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Beautiful and heart warming :)

JaneyV said...

Good to know that Mom is still looking after her. I love the optimistic last note. I wish that everyone understood (in bad times) that there are always better days ahead.

BernardL said...

Nice upbeat ending, with her Mom reaching out with help after death.

Geraldine said...

Dear Lena, Aggie,Sameera,Janey and Bernard,

Thank you all so much for your kind words and feedback.

I now have the longer version of this story posted on my blog. Hope you will stop by soon.

I am loving all the entries to date!

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

peggy said...

Very well written, combining the past, present and future with so few words. Great job!

Sarah Hina said...

Even though the sadness and weight is great here, the hope is what remains. It was especially poignant to me that her mother's gesture came after her death. And that her words lived in, and guided, her daughter forward.

Very touching story, Geraldine. We all need to embrace the future! :)

laughingwolf said...

very nicely wrought, geraldine :)

lissa said...

what a find for Carrie, life so full of tragedy but it's great to know she finally has a way out

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

What a great read! Beautifully written.

Ruinwen said...

Such a hard life for one so young…you really feel her pain at so many betrayals. I loved the hope that surged through the end of this piece. Beautifully written. :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

better days indeed!

sawan said...

i liked the way you ended it on a positive note! Good work Geraldine.

Geraldine said...

Hi Peggy, Thanks so much, appreciate your kind words.

Hi Sarah, I thought that was a nice touch too. We are impacted and interacting with those who have passed, I am sure of it.

Hi Wolf, Thank you. Love you avatar pic btw.

Hi Lissa, Better days ahead...

Hi K. Lawson, Thanks so much!

Hi Ruinwen, I wanted to convey the frustration but also the hope that eventually kept Carrie moving forward (and upward) :<)

Hi LD, My own mom said that phrase on a regular basis. It stayed with me.

Hi Sawan, I love happy endings when they are possible.

Thanks so much for your comments and kind words. I am enjoying your entries and visits to your blogs, G

Kim said...

Oh if only. It just goes to show that there can be light at the end of the tunnel...or an escalator. Well done.

Vesper said...

“Better days ahead.” Hope is a wondrous thing... Such a touching story about the gifts that mothers give... Nicely written!

Chris Eldin said...

Heart-wrenching, but the ending leaves up going up the escalator with her, full of hope.
Good job!

Selma said...

She is definitely going to have better days ahead. The escalator has a symbol of hope. She is riding it to a new life. Hope you win, G!!!

Catvibe said...

Wow, what a painful situation. I'm so glad her mom had the foresight she did. Well written!

pjd said...

What you've written here is a synopsis of a situation leading to a novel. Sounds like you have a vision of these characters, but 250 words isn't doing that vision justice. They need more room to tell their story.

Geraldine said...

Hi Kim, The light can make all the difference, can't it?

Hi Vesper, Thanks so much. Better days ahead is a phrase that rings true for me, many many days. I thank my mom for that positive mantra to keep a focused view, when the going gets tough.

Hi Chris, Thank you so much!

Hi Selma, Your story was wonderful. I hope you win too!

Hi Catvibe,Gifts from the heart mean so much, no matter when we receive them. Thank you.

Hi PJD, Thank you for your insightful comment. I am actually just starting a novel, have a Write a Book Challenge happening over at my blog. Ummm...you've given me another idea to consider.

My sincere best wishes and good luck to all the participants. What wonderful writers have stopped by here this week.

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

September said...

Yay. I love these endings.
Story was heart wrenching.
You did a great job with this.

bluesugarpoet said...

Ends with a hopeful beginning - I like that. :) Lovely piece!

Jana

jason evans said...

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!