Friday, March 20, 2009

Too Cool for School



I don't even remember how it happened.

Maybe I wasn't seeing the board in school. Maybe it was a routine eye screening with the school nurse. Maybe it was my dead-on Stevie Wonder impression. Either way, my six-year-old self was faced with the life-changing news that I had to get glasses.

Not the end of the world.

I guess.

But I sure didn't appreciate my new term of endearment. Four eyes.

Looking back now, I'm kind of pissed. I mean, LOOK AT THOSE THINGS!! Could my parents have chosen a more hideous, shockingly lame, bargain pair than that? Would that have been possible??

Geez. Throw me a bone over here. No tasteful wire rims in the store? Nothing that wasn't, well, square? Why don't you make me wear a leisure suit while you're at it.

Oh wait. They did that too.

25 comments:

CLAY said...

Cool glasses--I had bottle glass thick ones when I was in middle school, you're lucky.

Meme said...

Ahhh I think you look cute. I had braces-train tracks and braceface they called me), at least you can take off glasses.

Aggie said...

Lol! You look very kitted out ... and it was probably the height of fashion for the time. Parents like their kids to "fit in" so you probably looked like every other 4-eyes on the block.

Stephen Parrish said...

This explains everything.

Whirlochre said...

With your glasses and my corduroy tunic, we could have opened up a portal to a whole new dimension of horror.

Margaret said...

LOL!!
You look like a little Woody Allen!!

But that was probably the fashion then.
My daughters complain about how I use to dress them too when they were young. We have a great laugh looking back at old photos...

Have you still got the glasses or are they in a museum somewhere? :D

Aniket said...

Oh I was going to compare you to Mike Myers... you have got the MOJO mate. :) You would have had girls falling for you that time. (FOFL.. falling on the floor laughing :) :) :) )

But when I read margrets comment I realized that you look more Woody Allenish! lol.

My mom wanted a girl so bad, before I was born... so I'll leave it to your imagination what all she used to do to "Decorate" me. But don't expect me to post any pictures of that... evver! :-)

I am thinking of putting up a childhood pic though... lets spread the trend! :)

SzélsőFa said...

Don't worry, Jason - everyone at your age and position looked like you I guess. That kinds of glasses and suits were in.
Thank God they are out now :))

And yes, you do look square - heee.
But with a hint of Johnny D., as in Crybaby underneath :)

McKoala said...

As one of our seven-year-old friends has just found out, even the snazzy stylish frames of today do not guarantee safety from the name of 'four eyes'.

the walking man said...

It could always have been worse brother. You could have been fat too. Wanna know what polyester looks like on a fat kid?

Karen said...

Take heart...leisure suits and Buddy Holly's will be back "in" soon. I can't bear to look at the women's fashions in the stores now because I wore them back in the 70s and did NOT look like this in them!

Jennifer said...

Jason, forget the glasses-what are you holding?? I love how the child next to you in the awesome plaid pants is holding the expected, ubiquitous metal lunch box, while you are holding your...portfolio?

Definitely too cool!! :)

Aine said...

Well, hey there! Where've you been all my life? ;)

I don't care what fashion you're sporting, you'll always look adorable to me. :)

And, Aniket~ Jason's mom dearly wished for a girl, too! LOL You should see the pics when she let his naturally wavy hair grow longer and fall in ringlets! :D

I like the Woody Allen and Mike Myers comparisons!!

Sarah Hina said...

You really do look incredibly cute. And I like how prepared you seem, touched off with that small, neat smile on your face. :)

Don't hate on the parents too much. I think it worked for you. ;)

(Um, leisure suit photo next? Please?)

Catvibe said...

Aw. You were too cute. I was going to say a young elton john, but I saw the woody allen comment and well, that's even more like it. So what's the deal with the briefcase? If I didn't know better I'd say it was a laptop. You are a funny contrast next to the nearly normal looking kid with the lunch box and the plaid pants.

Hoodie said...

You know, those glasses are totally trendy now. It just took the rest of the world this long to catch up to your coolness.

And what's so wrong with being called four-eyes anyway? What a dumb taunt. I guess, particularly in elementary school, it's not what is said but how it's said. They could call you Superman and if it sounded malicious then it was bad.

No matter how adorable I try to make my children, I'm sure they will look back and say, "Ew, Mom, why'd you dress me in THAT!"

Aniket said...

@ Aine: Oh we would love to see them. Post 'em... post 'em! :)

And I have decided to put up one of my fav. pics of salad days next too. These pics give you an honest smile, that's so hard to come by these days.

Geraldine said...

LOL!!!! I was 6 when I got "saddled" with a pair of shiny light blue-framed glasses. I hated them too.

Even so, you look so cute Jason, you really really do...the glasses, well... ;<)

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

:D - I think you look adorable! But...I feel your angst through your words. At the time did you feel anger, or is it just coming now - from looking at the picture?
Or am I reading too much into this?

Milly said...

I still make jokes about having notes pinned to us.

You looked cool dude.

jason evans said...

Clay, I'm feeling for you with those thick glasses. Sorry if they were a drag.

Meme, thanks. :) Dang those braces! Sorry for the crap you had to deal with.

Aggie, scary as it is, I probably was reasonably fashionable (gag) with what I was wearing. But I refuse to give in about the glasses. I seem recall them being lame even then.

Stephen, precisely.

Whirlochre, that reminds me of the movie Event Horizon. We'd return from that dimension scratching out our own eyes.

Margaret, Woody Allen, eh? :) I hope I'm not that neurotic (although I do like his movies). Those glasses did hang around for a while. Not sure if they still exist.

Aniket, Mike Myers? Yeah, baby!! Looking forward to seeing your childhood picture(s)!

Szelsofa, very square indeed. Lay me down, and you could do a dance around me. Swing your partner round and round! (Do they have square dancing in Hungary?)

McKoala, crap, that's bad news. Sorry for him/her. :( Our younger daughter is probably going to end up with glasses. I'd better help her choose wisely.

Walking Man, I hope that wasn't from experience, man. If so, sorry if you took crap for it.

Karen, I'm going with the theory I was just WAY ahead of my time. ;)

Jennifer, I cut off my friend there (neighbor) so I didn't unwillingly drag him into blogworld. I'll have you know, however, that he is holding a portfolio in his other hand!

Aine, adorable, eh? Thanks!! :) :) You know where I've been most of my life. ;)

Sarah, oh, you dare to invoke the leisure suit?? Do you value your vision/sanity? LOL! And that's an interesting observation about my preparedness.

Catvibe, Crocodile Rock! And plaid pants normal?? Wow. Good to know. ;)

Hoodie, that's why we let our more adventurous daughter pick her own clothes. That way, she can only blame us for not stopping her. When she says that, my response will be, you're joking, right??

Aniket, the curls were kind of pretty....

Geraldine, oh, I feel for you, sister. We were struck down at a tender age. ;)

Kaye, I'm poking fun at it. I did take some heat for it back then. Looking back, for as much as my mother was into clothes, for some reason she was a dork when it came to steering me on cloths, etc. I don't seriously hold her responsible, but it would have been nice if she were a little more in tune to how I would fit in. The glasses seem to be a symbol of that for me.

Milly, yeah, you gotta love the signage. :D I guess it was return instructions.

SzélsőFa said...

Hmm, I have to check what 'square dancing' means. I'm unsure.
We have lots of dances for couples (man+woman) and for 'company' (more than two people of the same sex).
I'm sure there must be a Hungarian dance that is similar to what you were refering to.
Next time you come to visit we'll dance.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Yeah, but Buddy Holly was cool back then.

Or am I going too far back?

JR's Thumbprints said...

On second thought, you look like a young Austin Powers. Groovy Baby!

jason evans said...

Szelsofa, deal!

JR, this would be about 1976. Maybe more Freddie Mercury than Buddy Holly. But Austin is shagadelic!