Saturday, July 11, 2009

Entry #65

Place Setting
by Kassa


Dinner at a Capo’s place was tricky, and if you weren't a Capo it was even trickier to come out alive.

This was from a gang that prided itself on inventive ways to kill and dismember. The fact that Rabbit was having peeps over was scary on its own, before you got to the fact that no one knew how to cook, let alone the addicted and perpetually drug-starved Rabbit. Itch knew it was a setup; it had to be, but you didn't just say, "No thanks, fucker" when the summons came and you were hiding out like a caged rat in rival gang territory.

The table was set with dishes, cracked and dirty with caked-on shit, underneath the mound of weird, beige-looking food. There were glasses, too, stolen because no one in Revival had that kind of shit anymore. They were chipped, broken but upright with clear water. Rabbit stood like a proud father with a recent high as everyone shuffled into the hovel passing as Rabbit and Bowen's home.

Drugs were served for the first course with lighters and cracked, blackened spoons for utensils. The thirst accompanying that first hit was like a runaway train, and Bowen grabbed a water glass from the table. Rabbit yelled something in the fog surrounding the room, a sharp retort that banged out like a gunshot. The water slowly turned red. Droplets of blood fell from Bowen’s mouth, the hidden glass shards in the water cutting deeply into the wrong target’s flesh.

16 comments:

Laurel said...

This was great! Gritty, good names, great descriptions. I can just see a cockroach scuttling across the table.

Vicious ending, too.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Excellent. A dark Wonderland indeed.

wrath999 said...

Unique and very visual. Excellent

alex

JR's Thumbprints said...

You definitely have one of the most original settings for this competition, and the title fits, but for some reason I felt the ending was a bit abrupt. Still, your details are crisp--very visual. I liked it.

Karen said...

This one pulled me in from the first word. I think it's a winner!

Chris Eldin said...

Intense and very visual!

I love a good nickname, and for this one, I'm left with a smile---there's a children's book agent with the last name of Bowen, and her blog has a bunny mascot.
Coinky?
;-)

Catvibe said...

Dark and creepy! I like the voice in your writing, it works well.

Adisha said...

Vivid descriptions :)

Aniket said...

Dark dark tale with an eerie creepiness all along.

Felt more watching than reading. I could practically smell the place. Ew.

Great work. Liked it a lot.

laughingwolf said...

ah well, shit happens! :O lol

Sarah Laurenson said...

Great descriptions. Gritty, realistic. Love the voice.

Kurt Hendricks said...

Great flow to this story. Almost a new-wave beat poetry feel to it.

pjd said...

Echo all the comments, especially Laurel and Catvibe. Rough, gritty. Cool.

JaneyV said...

Bloody hell! Enjoyed it thoroughly!

Jade L Blackwater said...

Wonderful, clear, compelling writing!

jason evans said...

I liked the names and physical descriptions of this used, chipped world.

High marks for pacing and technical elements.