Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Rape Me

Rape me
Rape me, my friend
Rape me
Rape me again
     --Nirvana Rape Me

"I'm so glad I finally got you," she said.

He had checked the caller ID on the cell phone. He'd never seen the number before. No reason to duck it.

"I tried to call a couple times before," she said. "You didn't pick up."

He sagged.

He needed to sit.

"Can I talk to you?" she said. "I mean, I know you probably don't want to. I hope that's not true, but it probably is. I hope it's not. But I understand. It's just that I really need to talk to you."

He touched his forehead where pain was hatching.

"Are you there?" she said.

The cracking pressure wasn't there a minute ago.

"Please," she said. "I'm feeling really awful tonight. I just need.... I just.... I don't know what I need. Can you just talk? Just tonight? Can you do that? Please?"

He straightened. Strong and still.

"Please?" she said.

Quivering inside.

He pushed himself away. Poured over a layer of liquid steel. And hardened.

"Please?" she said.

"Okay. Go ahead."

(I see that the embedded video bug has killed my comments button on this post. Go HERE for comments.)


Aniket said...

Oh, we used to call this "mind-fuck" in college.

But I hope that the pathetic state she is in is just a sad phase and she gets over it. Have seen a few such cases and it always ends bad... always.

Karen said...

I call them vampires. Sucking the life from you.

Tabitha Bird said...

oh, but what did the poor girl want to talk about? Jason you know exactly where to leave us hanging!

the walking man said...

I am of a mixed mind about this one. My guess is that it is because I have been to the funerals of more suicide people than any one person should ever have to go to. I will always talk when I am called at least until I understand of it is drama or life at stake.

catvibe said...

Had a stalker as you know. NOT FUN. I liked the way you wrote this, the way you used description of his feelings to build tension.

Four Dinners said...

I want more of this. I want to know WTF is going on? It's playing on what passes for my mind.

A Writer said...

Good flash! He needed to sit. Loved that line.

Kim said...

Jason! More, please.

Laurel said...


It's awfulawfulawful to get sucked into the drama of someone who thrives on it. They need to need and there is always the implied threat that if you don't give them what they need they will do something terrible and then it is your fault. And what they want always starts small: "I just really need to talk to someone tonight..."

This reads true.

Amias said...

His silence raped her mind, over and over again, and when he finished raping her, he spoke. Was it mind fucking? Depend on what rape means to you, as rape is not only about fucking it's about control.

Jason, I missed coming here to fill up --- and you never disappoint me!

Jean said...

Very stalker-ish. Makes me almost as uncomfortable as he seems to be.
How did she get his number and does she know where he lives?

Nevine said...

Those clingy clingy types make me want to scream - women and men, both! "Please please please?" Aaaaaaargh! But the fascination of this lies in its shortness, in its abruptness, in our not knowing what happened before, or what will happen after.

Terri said...

Ooh, this girl really knows which buttons to push! Of course he won't hang up because what if he does and something terrible happens to her..? Great guilt trip.
Here's a question for you to throw out there next time you want to do one of your poll-taking posts: Does everyone know someone like this or is it only certain personality types who get sucked in by these people?

This gave me shivers. Too close to home.

jason evans said...

Aniket, yes, things have gone to a dark place.

Karen, sometimes there are users and the used.

Tabitha, I like that! Somehow these flash pieces take on a much larger life by trimming them just so.

Walking Man, a tough line. I see your point. But even that goodwill can be abused. But I know you know that.

Catvibe, a stalker must be very unnerving. Sorry you had to endure that.

Four Dinners, it has lit something in you. Struck on something, perhaps.

A Writer, yeah, sometimes that gravity is just too much.

Kim, :) I'm glad it sparked for you.

Laurel, I see you've been there. What struck me the most is how his condition, his feelings, never seriously entered her head. No part of her is prepared to protect him.

Amias, I love all the different perspectives! You all are wonderful commenters. :) And I'm glad to see you back!

Jean, I'm gratified that his discomfort snuck into your own feelings. :)

Nevine, I appreciate your outrage. :) I love these little pieces. They're like life. We don't get all the answers. We have to make guesses. We only see what we see.

Terri, he is bound by his own demons. His own vulnerabilities. But his enmeshment has hit its limit. He has mostly extricated himself. (And that's a great poll idea!)

Mona said...

Boderline Personality Disorder

( sometimes I feel clinically detached & judge likewise)

jason evans said...

Mona, that's intriguing. I do think that borderline personality disorder would sometimes feel like this to be around.

Kate said...

Hi! This is my first time visiting your blog, and what an intriguing entry this is!

The other commenters all seem to have gotten one idea about what was going on here, while I got a completely different idea. Maybe it's because I don't know you, or maybe because I didn't watch the video.

I pictured a mother calling her troubled son to reassure herself that he was okay. She's consumed by guilt for not protecting him from his problems. He hates the way she infantilizes him and dreads the lecture/pity/judgement/I-love-you-son, but either loves her or needs her enough to not hang up.

Whatever their relationship is, that is the part that intrigues me. Why does he say, "Okay. Go ahead." He has choices.

jason evans said...

Kate, first of all, welcome! I love seeing new faces.

As for this piece, I like your reading. The push and pull you describe between the mother and son, the essence of the dynamic, fits very well. I'm most gratified when these vignettes spark something in others, something that resonates. When we share those different visions, we can see into each other. And understand ourselves better too.