Monday, January 18, 2010

Bad Romance

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it's free
I want your love
love, love, love
* * *
You and me could write
A bad romance
--Lady Gaga, Bad Romance

"Come on. The kiss couldn't have been that bad."

"Shut up."

"Why are you pushing me?"

"Just shut up."

"You don't really want me to go."

"You don't know anything."

"I don't?"

"Just back up, okay?"


"On second thought, I'm getting out of here."

"You just got here."


"You know what your problem is?"

"Oh, this should be good."

"I'll show you."


"Don't move."





"Please don't do that."

"Your breath is shaking."

"Just don't."

"I love your neck. I could kiss you here for hours. Did you know that?"

"Please back up."

"You don't sound very convincing."


"Your hands are getting hot."


"You don't have to take them off me."

"I hate you."

"Still not convincing."

"I do."



"Really. What's wrong?"

"Just...promise me."


"Promise me you'll never leave me."


Linda S. Socha said...


I really do have to begin reading here on a more regular basis...I am out of the loop....Love your stuff!

austere said...

loved the clincher in the last line.

Meghan said...

My first kiss was AWFUL. Blech. That's all I could think of when I read this, even though the message between the charactes in this story is a lot more complex.

Dottie (My Blog 2.0) said...

Do I stay or do I go? The age old question answer so completely in this dialogue. How sweet, irritating, and damn, lovely.

Dottie :)

Aniket said...

What would be the fun if its always black and white? ;)

Aphrodite sure likes to play dirty.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I like the playfulness involved. Although you use dialogue and nothing else, us readers can have a clear picture of the characters. I like the serious ending as well.

MRMacrum said...

Ah romantic interludes. Awkward romantic interludes.

The dialog only bothered me at first. I re-read it and fell into sync with it. Very nice.

Discovering the possibilties words have has been one of the unforseen pluses of my blogging experience.

Limpidus said...

This is my very first comment on this blog. And I might just add that this was an entertaining piece indeed.


Aerin said...

As ever, Jason, I'm envious of your skill with dialogue.

Oh, and I'm not going to watch the YouTube clip, if that's okay. I have a thing about Lady Gaga.

Word Verification: elect

JaneyV said...

I love dialogue-only posts. So much story can be conveyed - especially in the spaces between. This is a fine example of a bad romance -pushy meets needy.

Ever thought about writing a screenplay - or a play?

SzélsőFa said...

I like how JaneyV summed it up nicely: pushy meets needy.

Jean said...

Control freak and needy. They deserve each other.

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

That was Lovely. Completely unexpected.

jason evans said...

Linda, what a wonderful thing to say. Thank you!

Austere, much appreciated. :)

Meghan, alright, now you have our attention. Sounds like the guy really fumbled it!

Dottie, there is a lot of passion brewing in these two.

Aniket, I like that. You can use kindling to start a fire, or gasoline.

JR, there was an entrant many contests ago who used dialogue only to convey a butt-kicking story. Ever since then, I've experimented with just how much heavy lifting dialogue can do.

MRMacrum, I think there is a lot of truth to what you say. Sometimes, writing has very different rhythms. For example, if you read this too fast, it becomes a mess, I think.

Sapna, I hope to see you back!

Aerin, that's totally cool if you don't watch the video. The lyrics are the important part. I just like using music prompts sometimes. To weave a slice a life that might have spawned the song. (And thanks for the compliment!)

JaneyV, Aine has said the same thing to me. (You two really are alike!) I think I would like to write a screenplay, but down the road after I've managed to scrape out some other publishing successes. I do think embracing the challenge of it would be a blast!

Szelsofa, sometimes (or maybe, often) people come with big knots and dark currents hidden beneath the surface. These two are so drawn to each other, but also being spun apart by those currents.

Jean, some people have a taste for chaos, I guess.

jason evans said...

Mahesh, I try to really mix it up here. Hopefully I succeed sometimes.

Lynn Kinsey said...

I agree you have to sip this one. It is like when I read Hills Like White Elephants--reading too quickly will be a mess. I like your dialog. It is concise, and gives me the credit for being able to pace myself through the scene. Very nice:-) Thank you!

Shadow said...

i loved reading this. i've felt this before. stunning!

Terri said...

So clever, what you can do with dialogue only.

Nevine said...

Again with the needy person! Blech!!! The dialogue here was just right.


the walking man said...

A hundred things ran through my mind but coupled with the lyrics all I can think on is please do leave me.

catvibe said...

I am so gone from this relationship. :-) Make it so! Great dialogue, as usual. You know what is nice, my cat NEVER involves me in this kind of conversation. He is so excellent, he says only one thing and it is always the perfect word.

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

the last line actually bought nostlgia..although such a scene never happened with me but my first love used to say that to me. and then she was the one who went away. Anyhow that was great mate. i just wish i had more hours in the day to write and read.

lunardancer said...

The kind of romance that is just plain sick if you ask me. But very strightforward if you ask me, and yes, as I was reading I can't help but be amazed by how the directness of the lyrics managed to conjure the images so vividly in my head!

jason evans said...

Lynn, I like the way you put it. I do like to give a lot of credit to the reader. I need to let your brain have the scene and build it. I have to trust you.

Shadow, thanks for tapping into the tides below the surface.

Terri, it's definitely fun. :)

Nevine, I know you hold neediness in high regard.

Walking Man, the power is always there.

Catvibe, pets are excellent for simplifying the give/receive equation. Glad you've cut loose from the storms.

Antriksh, ah, that sounds so right...the way it plays out. I'm amazed at how much this piece seemed to spark emotions, from all angles.

Lunardancer, I'm gratified that it hit you, whether positive or negative. A moment like this is the tip of an iceberg.

Akasha Savage. said...

I love the way you express so much with just dialogue. And I love Lady Gaga, that must be the best song of the decade!