Into The Night
by Cathi Stoler
She’d always loved the night. The velvety feel of it on her skin. The way it flowed over her like the softest cashmere shawl.
Tonight was no exception. The full moon cast its light past her shoulder, it’s glow igniting the mica imbedded in the sidewalk giving it the sparkle of diamonds waiting to be gathered up by the armful.
She walked along the quiet street in the moonlight’s path, her footsteps leaving a soft echo that trailed behind with each stride she took. Deeper and deeper she went into the night, absorbed in its delicious feel.
A flutter of wings from above caught her attention—a crow landing on the streetlight a few yards ahead. It tilted its head toward her, eyes bright in the light from the lamp, beak pointed downward as if to say, “Who are you and why are you here?”
She looked up, her head matching the angle of the bird’s exactly and smiled. “We can share it, you know,” she whispered as she passed by.
As if he’d understood—but didn’t like it—the bird cawed once and ruffled his feathers. Then he stretched his wings in a flowing arc, settled back and tucked his head down preparing for sleep.
She was laughing as the man came up and kissed her on the cheek.
“What’s so funny,” he asked, taking her arm.
“I think I just met someone who loves the night as much as I do.”
(Cathi Stoler was an award-winning advertising copywriter for many years. Wanting to fulfill her ambition to write full-length mystery novels, she turned her talents to this genre and wrote Keeping Secrets, a mystery/suspense story that delves into the subject of hidden identity. It was followed by, Telling Lies, which reprises several of her main characters and takes on the subject of stolen Nazi art. Both of these novels were named as finalists in the Brighid’s Fire Books fiction contest. Cathi is working on the third book in the series, The Hard Way. She is a member of the New York Chapter of Sisters in Crime and posts regularly on the womenofmystery.net blog. Cathi has studied both Italian and Glass Blowing, which she hopes to incorporate into future novels. She lives with her husband in Manhattan.)
Monday, January 11, 2010
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27 comments:
Beautiful writing - with a wonderful rhythmic cadence and superb imagery. I could picture it all vividly. Definitely one of my favs!
I can almost picturise the crow holding up a 'trespassers will be prosecuted' placard next morning! great character portrayal, i love this one :).
My logical mind balks at an "armfull" of diamonds, demanding handfuls instead, but this is charming, particularly her mimic of the crow's head gesture.
Great first paragraph. You paint a great picture
i loved it.
Beautiful. Great atmosphere, and I love the character.
I'm so sorry, but I forgot all about the piece as soon as I read the 'Sisters in Crime' part in your bio. Well, its a guy thing, you know. Blessed with imagination. :D
On a serious note, I too share the love for night. Its silence, its peace, its clarity...
There's something pure about it. Loved the piece.
Great imagery, very strong writing, this piece has everything a reader would want to in it.
You've painted a beautiful picture with this.
Beautifully done.
oh eck...me top 5 was at 14...now it's at 15....
This is great writing methinks.
I also love the imagery of her tilting her head to match the crows.
If you write like this in your published books I'd better hop over to Amazon!
Nicely done, Cathi! You painted a vivid picture.
So glad you entered Jason's contest!
Charming is a good word, but "comfortable" is how this feels to me. Smooth and easy. Nicely done.
Loved the imagery in the first few lines.
Then I kept waiting for drama, but this was nice.
smooth as black velvet...
Great description! I can absolutely smell that hotel room and his desperation is gripping.
Beautifully descriptive. Nice job.
Lovely imagery and very velvety smooth!
What a lovely walk, and I love that she communicates with crows. Very nice writing, sparkles like the street diamonds in the moon.
Wonderful imagery and well written.
Betty Gordon
This piece really paints a picture of freedom without having to try too hard. Marvelous.
Distinctly superior description and scene-setting.
Your descriptions of the night were luxurious. I wanted to wrap myself up in them.
Gorgeous feel to this.
I like everything in this story except the title. For whatever reason I can't get Archie Bunker out of my head.
I love the understanding night creatures hold with one another. Evocative descriptions, and truly lovely writing.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
First paragraph sets the consistent lovely, comfortable tone.
Something I Might Tweak
Second paragraph - "it's glow" should read "its glow" - no apostrophe if it's possessive.
Congrats on achieving "The Forties Club" status, Cathi! That's wonderful! I voted for your story, I think it's terrific!
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