Monday, January 11, 2010

Entry #129

Heaven Sent
by Antriksh Satyarth


“Please No. I beg you. Don’t”

“Don’t worry baby. I’m not gonna hurt you. You’ll feel so good. I promise” he said while unzipping his pants.

The hunting knife in his hand and the expressions on his face made the promise sound hollow to Meg’s ears. She looked towards the sky with her tear filled eyes and said a silent prayer.

“Please God. Help me. Kill me if you can’t save me but just save me from this horror”

But all she saw was an eagle soaring in the dusky sky.

The nightmare which had begun 2 hours ago when he had forcibly picked her up on her way back home flashed in front of her eyes. The groping, the threats…everything screamed in the confines of her head. Meg felt so contaminated. So helpless. She shut her eyes in the desperate hope of fading out the scene from her mind.

“Don’t cry baby. You’ll feel heaven between… AArggghhhh”

Meg opened her eyes and saw in amazement a half dead, wounded snake wrapped around his neck. Before Meg could understand what is happening, the snake bared its fangs and bit him on his face.
A blood curdling scream filled the empty sky and the man dropped to his knees clutching the wound at his face.

The snake coiled in front of Meg and hissed aggressively. Just then the eagle dived in at lightning speed and took it away towards the sky.

27 comments:

Lena said...

I like happy ends. Glad that she escaped her torturer.
Nice story.

Aniket said...

Yay! For a happy end. He had it coming...

Tara said...

I like the ending, too...just blogged earlier today about Happy Endings being my next topic of discussion. They're even better when there's some sweet justice involved.

Bernita said...

Divine intervention, indeed.

Merry Monteleone said...

Looooved the ending.

Craig said...

I actually felt a bit sorry for the snake. Well written.

Four Dinners said...

Pity the snake didn't 'make it' as well....comeuppance of the highest order!!!!

Leah said...

Very interesting symbolism in both the snake and the eagle! I like it.

Nothingman said...

Way to go bro :)

A good one!

N

austere said...

Dramatic.
Very.

Gia's Spot said...

I loved it! I almost turned away when I started to read but so glad I continued!

kashers said...

Divine justice methinks. Guess the eagle had to take care of the snake seeing as it was going on to bite her.

Antriksh Satyarthi said...

@everyone
thanks a ton guys...this really meant a lot to me :D

though i admit i wanted to see something...how many of us do believe in divine miracles and how many just think of it as a mere coincidence. How many believe in chance and how many think that everything happens for a reason...that was the basic premise for the story.

read my other stories at www.spaceffect.blogspot.com if you would like.

Peace.

laughingwolf said...

ahhhhhhhhhh...

Laurel said...

Love the snake and the eagle. Great symbolism and imagery.

Deb S said...

A snake for a snake. Just desserts, indeed.

Charmaine said...

It's like a macabre description of the food chain.

I always find it sad that men, at the top of the food chain, prey on women.

There are only two ways to take down such men; disturbing their self definition or going straight for the jugular.

Kind of the same thing... Nicely done.

pjd said...

Snake and eagle in battle is classic and a great finish. I am of the opinion that the man just happened to pick a bad spot for his misdeeds and accidentally got into the middle of the other fight. Lucky for Meg.

Meghan said...

I like how justice is served at the end, and I especially liked the bit about the snake and eagle. The Cosmos worked things out. Great job!

catvibe said...

She prayed and she got the help she needed from a most unlikely source. Awesome! What a great snake! Even as he's being killed he saves the day. How cool is that? Nice job!

Rabid Fox said...

Oooh, I liked the twist in the ending, surrounding the snake's origin. Nice one.

James R. Tomlinson said...

Nice turn of events. And it works! I think the pacing of the story had something to do with it. Bravo.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Hah!

Hah!

Love this kind of justice.

Well done.

Kurt Hendricks said...

I love how the snake, who had just saved her, was about to turn on her. Great detail!

Chris Eldin said...

Gotta love justice! Nice one!

illyriataylor said...

finally! I've been waiting for the eagle/snake mythology. You presented this well.

Aerin said...



my caveat

Something I Would Keep

I really appreciated that you didn't end with a "happily ever after" summation. She escaped being actually, physically raped, but she was by no means "saved." If you'd ended with "and Meg was just fine" I would have been insulted - so, thank you!

Something I Might Tweak

"Kill me if you can't save me" felt...off, somehow