Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Entry #141

The Hunt
by Tarun Dhingreja


Number 10 and counting. I don't know how long it will be till I see you again. Those deep eyes, majestic posture and the epitome of precise judgement. I still wonder what made you leave the other night. We were going through bad days but we have had them before. We could have survived these as well. But something happened while I was fast asleep and you left without a word.

I have looked at all the usual spots; nobody else remembers seeing you either. Everyday I promise myself one more day, just one more day than I will give up. Had something to eat after a week, the weather is also going from bad to worse. Nights are long and the days are short when you are looking for somebody so close and special. Will take some rest and start tomorrow. Again.

10 Days before

Nice catch Alan. Yeah right, that too at night time, lured him with a mouse. There were two but this one fell for it. Although could have got a better price for a pair.

16 comments:

Bernita said...

Interesting concept!

Deb S said...

Clever.

Four Dinners said...

Very good! And very sad. Unusual take as well.

Right. My top 5 is currently up to 18...oh eck.

laughingwolf said...

cool...

Laurel said...

Hunting hunters hunting. Circular.

Interesting piece and melancholy.

Nothingman said...

This was cool. Remember the story of the guy who taped all these animals to his body and tried to smuggle them through airport? Yup. Happened.

Good tale.

N

Aniket said...

The unique structuring of the piece actually worked quite well for me. Very smart switch of POV in the end. Great writing!

lena said...

Interesting structure makes this story unique in a way. Good work.

pjd said...

Really interesting twist in both story and structure.

Craig said...

Great twist. I did not see that coming at all.

catvibe said...

Oh. Heartbreaking! :-( People don't often think of the effect left behind do they? They just take...

truevoid said...

what we see is sometimes not right. nice.

JaneyV said...

I like how you told the story with the shifting perspective. Sad and well written.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I really felt the sincerity in the first two paragraphs: someone important was missing. However--and I know it was 10 days before--the last paragraph had me a bit perplexed. I guess it's a matter of choice when writing short flashes.

Aerin said...



my caveat

Something I Would Keep

The first two paragraphs are a sweet, sad near-eulogy, nicely evocative

Something I Might Tweak

I totally didn't get the last paragraph. Maybe sacrifice a little of the earlier word count to fill in just a bit.

Chris Eldin said...

Clever writing and enjoyable read. I like how you structured this!