The Hunt
by Tarun Dhingreja
Number 10 and counting. I don't know how long it will be till I see you again. Those deep eyes, majestic posture and the epitome of precise judgement. I still wonder what made you leave the other night. We were going through bad days but we have had them before. We could have survived these as well. But something happened while I was fast asleep and you left without a word.
I have looked at all the usual spots; nobody else remembers seeing you either. Everyday I promise myself one more day, just one more day than I will give up. Had something to eat after a week, the weather is also going from bad to worse. Nights are long and the days are short when you are looking for somebody so close and special. Will take some rest and start tomorrow. Again.
10 Days before
Nice catch Alan. Yeah right, that too at night time, lured him with a mouse. There were two but this one fell for it. Although could have got a better price for a pair.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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16 comments:
Interesting concept!
Clever.
Very good! And very sad. Unusual take as well.
Right. My top 5 is currently up to 18...oh eck.
cool...
Hunting hunters hunting. Circular.
Interesting piece and melancholy.
This was cool. Remember the story of the guy who taped all these animals to his body and tried to smuggle them through airport? Yup. Happened.
Good tale.
N
The unique structuring of the piece actually worked quite well for me. Very smart switch of POV in the end. Great writing!
Interesting structure makes this story unique in a way. Good work.
Really interesting twist in both story and structure.
Great twist. I did not see that coming at all.
Oh. Heartbreaking! :-( People don't often think of the effect left behind do they? They just take...
what we see is sometimes not right. nice.
I like how you told the story with the shifting perspective. Sad and well written.
I really felt the sincerity in the first two paragraphs: someone important was missing. However--and I know it was 10 days before--the last paragraph had me a bit perplexed. I guess it's a matter of choice when writing short flashes.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
The first two paragraphs are a sweet, sad near-eulogy, nicely evocative
Something I Might Tweak
I totally didn't get the last paragraph. Maybe sacrifice a little of the earlier word count to fill in just a bit.
Clever writing and enjoyable read. I like how you structured this!
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