Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Entry #234

And The Hunt Begins
by Dottie Taylor


I raised my face to the night wind. There's the sweet scent I'd caught earlier. I inhale deeply, letting the scent wash over me, through me, heightening my senses.

Fear.

I run, grinning wildly, as the land glides beneath my feet, almost at a full gallop. I scent the air again, yes, there it is! A hawk calls over head, pointing the way.

At the edge of the brush, I skid to a halt. I'm not the only one drawn by the scent as I hear a growl off at a distance in the waning light. I sat on the cold hard ground, forcing my heart to slow, biding my time. I can wait my turn, I will have my feed.

I open my jaws and yawning a loud whine, alerting others that I too wait to feed.

“Help me.” I hear in the distance as the growl grows closer. The ground vibrates, limping footfalls coming nearer. Damn, it's a helpless thing, groping in the twilight for a savior. A small hand lands upon my flank, curling in my fur.

“Please, I'm lost.” It pleads.

Food, my instincts cry.

Help it, my heart demands.

Shifting is always the worst part, especially when I've been denied my feast. Bones pop as I change, no one feeds tonight.

A child cries in the darkness.

“I'm here.” I reach out, taking the small hand in mine. “I'm here.”

29 comments:

Bernita said...

Nice story.A nice "change."

Laurel said...

Great take on a shifter tale. i love the animal vs. human duality.

Aniket said...

Loved the two vices that show his thought conflicts. A very satisfying end too. Loved it.

McKoala said...

I love a bit of a werewolf. Neat story.

Christian Bell said...

Nice take on the shapeshifter tale!

Blodeuedd said...

Yay shifters, love your story Dottie :D I am such a sucker for a good shifter story

Angel Zapata said...

I was hoping to run into a lycanthropy tale. Enjoyed it.

Megs - Scattered Bits said...

Wow.

The initial images, the way the narrative read, dropped me directly into a predator's mind, and quickly I realized I was in a wolf. Amazingly well done.

Then the struggle of choice and I still didn't know it was a shifter. And then the shift itself and somehow that whole last bit had my mouth hanging open and I actually said out loud, "Wow."

Louise said...

Loved this story. Loved the way it ends and the conflict between his heart and his instincts.

My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) said...

Hi Bernita!

This prompt seemed to beg for a change, lol. Thanks.


Hi Laurel!

I was trying to find the humanity inside the animal.


Hi Aniket!

I could hear both animal/human speaking, humanity won out this time.


Hi McKoala!

I too love a bit (or a bite) of werewolf, lol.


Hi Christian!

Thanks!


Hi B!

Thanks, I hate to say it, but I am too.


Hi Angel!

Lycanthropy is one of my favs!


Hi Megs!

The duality of animal vs human, it could have always gone the other way, the animal instincts could have won out. Thanks Megs!


Hi Louise!

Thanks, conflict with two parts of the same being.


Thanks everyone for all the wonderful comments. I loved hearing the thoughts as much as reading your great stories.

Dottie :)

laughingwolf said...

superbly done, dottie :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

Nicely done. A lycanthrope with a heart!

Aerin said...

Caveat


Something I Would Keep

"Help it, my heart demands." Such a human thought - love the insight this short phrase lends.

Something I Might Tweak

I open my jaws and yawning a loud whine, alerting others that I too wait to feed.: Either "yawn" or "alert" should be a different tense.

Preeti said...

Whoa...

that was beautiful. a very unique take on the prompt.
loved the conflict.

James R. Tomlinson said...

As I read the entries, what makes your shapeshifter character stand-out from others is the caring, maternal instinct; it sets the tone of your flash.

Beth said...

One of my favorites. My favorite genre.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Animal or human instinct. Tough choice in animal form. Good job.

Aimee Laine said...

Yeah for a happy ending! :)

Karen said...

I love that his humanity forced him to make this particular choice. Very nice.

Deb Smythe said...

A beautifully written tail, er tale. Love your word choice. You nailed the wolf's pov and made him sympathethic to boot.

Jean Ann Williams said...

I'm not a fan of shape shifting. But. This is refreshing. It truly is.

Thank you for this!

Jean Ann Williams said...

BTW, I said, "Wow!" out loud, also.

And yes, the maternal instinct was what made me love this.

JaneyV said...

Dottie - this is superb. The wolf's voice was perfect. We were right there with you on the hunt - all sinew and instinct and then we heard the voice of the child. You pitched the conflict between animal and human so well I could feel the struggle within to do what was right.

Gorgeous.

Craig said...

I like the multiple conflicts you built up in this piece.

pjd said...

Terrific inside-out approach to the shifter idea. I love the progression of the character, and how we're brought along with it so naturally. The excitement of what's going on turns to frustration and conflict, and ultimately to nobility in action. Really terrific.

Quibble: Watch tense shifts. For example the first sentence is past tense, but the majority of the tale is present.

Cecile said...

Dottie, this is awesome. The story is amazing. You made me feel as I was the wolf. Great story!

catvibe said...

Well, when you get here late and all the above have done all the constructive criticism, there is only one thing left to say, awesome story. Fictional accounting of the epic human conflict. Wonderful.

Deb Smythe said...

Dottie, congrats on the H/M. Great story. You were on my fav list.

Corra McFeydon said...

Beautiful. I love the battle between heart and instinct - and I'm so glad the heart won out.

Congrats on the honorable mention. ;)

~ Corra